The problem with these "30 day challenges"

No one can reboot from a porn/masturbation addiction in 30 days.

Where do people get the idea that it's even possible? It's just mad!

 

30 days can be a rational realistic goal for a beginner. It isn't a solution, but it is enough that the effects will be felt. Like going to the gym. In 30 days you have not arrived, but you feel good enough that you want to keep training for another 60 days, until it just becomes habitual.

 

Very true Mateo- it's gotta go for good!

 

I must agree, it needs to be a life style. We need to eradicate this habit and behavior completely. 30 days on and off will not help. Now a 30 day challenge is a good start. However, once you reach day 29, determine to go another 30 days. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Set these small goals and keep moving forward. Nonetheless, there needs to be a radical amputation of this addiction in order to recover.

 

I don't believe a 30 day challenge means those who undertake it have not also committed to a life-long goal of no pmo. Most start these challenges as a means to see some type of progress in their new healthy lifestyle choice. Seeing things like 15/30 is a lot more motivating than 15/Life. I do agree that a lot of people get discouraged and then vanish but I think that's more of a failure to realize that relapses are a normal part of recovery. It's very rare that any true addict is going to make or have a flawless reboot.

 

I have to disagree @HappyDaysAreHereAgain. I agree with the other respondents and @Mateo89 articulated it very well:

After 30 days of no PMO, you assert: "you have not arrived, but you feel good enough that you want to keep training." In most cases, when we reach 30 days we are deep in the flatline. You suggest that, in that state, the person is motivated to continue abstaining from sexual release. But what does a flatline feel like? The Glossary (above) states about flatlines:

The majority of people that experience the flatline, describe it as a negative experience. They get really freaked out that they have no sex drive whatsoever. They are anxious about having no erections and will often 'test' themselves and relapse in so doing. Most report very undesirable mood swings with irritability and even anger randomly directed at others. All this is what you summarise as, "you feel good enough that you want to keep training." No, I really don't think so.

 

From this point in time, I still think it's going to take me longer than a year to fully "reboot". And I am OK with that.

 

Yes, that is sooo true @Mateo89. I would say the same about the 90 day challenge. Hardly anyone reboots in just 90 days.

It is better to be realistic, right, Deadli? If it happens sooner then that's a bonus. The challenge has to be long-term. Two weeks ago I had gone eight months and then I fucked up twice inside an hour! I, too, am in for the long haul buddy.

There is nothing wrong with breaking the long-range goal into bite size pieces - weeks, months or notable numbers such as multiples of 50. But to say I am doing a 30 day challenge is naïve at best and self-defeating at worst. Let's spread the word.

 

Cheers. We're in for the long haul together!

 

I for one am in it for the long haul, but for me it's git to be broken down into manageable goals. My first goal is the whole of Feb, then it'll be continue that through March etc... Saying from Day 1 "That's it forever" is a bit unrealistic.

 

Well said Mateo!

 

From personal experience I know that 30 days of Nofap is nothing might as well not try it. If the addiction is severe even 90 days isn't enough. In the past I made the mistake thinking I would be okay if I watched P and M without O. It's foolish the only way out truly is no P, M and O for at least 90 days but definitely more if you really want to feel better. at 90 days there's change but not enough yet. It's only normal, if you've been addicted for over a decade. Three months is nothing compared to 10 years. In fact it's a small price to pay. Another thing I've noticed is that if you relapse while you are in withdrawal you only prolong the suffering.
At 90 days you definitely feel better about yourself, but physically, and mentally, more time is needed. If you stick with it and really want to change, in God's appointed time, you'll be free good luck to all of you

 

This is a thought that just came to mind: do you think journaling on this site would help going through recovery?

 

I can't argue with you about flatline. I had forgotten about my frustrations there. I remember being impressed by reaching a marker that had seemed so far down the road for me. My PIED frustrations had me so motivated to carry on, that even if I had no desire to do anything, I wasn't going to give it up and go back to PMOing.