Continuous failures have brought me here at last!

At last, after so many repeated failures, and masturbating just before finding about this website, i am here. Seriously do not know if this too will end up in a failure or not.

I am currently a student, but do not feel like participating in anything. Always feel tired, depressed, very low confidence, particularly among girls.

I once was good in studies, too good in fact, but masturbation has completely ruined it. where once i has seniors coming to me to seek solutions for their study problems, now i am just languishing at the bottom in the batch. Somehow i ended up getting a good undergrad school, but have completely ruined it over last few years.

I do not feel inspired anymore. just feel shit and guilty all the time. And i fap daily, sometimes, many a times.

Just trying to find some purpose in life, something which could give me some meaning!

 

Thanks for the reply.
It really helps someone asking u about the things, which u may not be comfortable even admitting to yourself.

What i initially tried was to cut on internet time, but it failed miserably; reason being that since i had to do a lot of research work, i cannot forgo the internet.
Hence, i have started using plugins such as 'STAY FOCUSD', which allows for certain sites to be locked based on keywords. It is difficult to change settings, as i have also locked the Chrome extensions page.
Also, yesterday as i was going through 'NOfap' i came across a strategy of blocking images in chrome, which i have found to be quite useful. It does not interfere with my work but keep certain trigger images away.
Although it has been just a day, so cannot comment how long will i stick out!

BUT it sure helps to be able to write, admit your weakness, as admitting that a disease exists is the first step towards its treatment!
From today, i will write Journal entries too.