I feel like these days the Internet is the primary source for dates.

It's natural that you're thinking about this. However, I think you need to give yourself more time. How long have you been rebooting?

Yes the internet is one way to get dates. In fact, it's how I met and married my husband. But it's not the only way. People meet at school, work, the grocery store, ect. I'd say focus on yourself, new hobbies, getting physically and emotionally healthy and develop friendships, male and female. It's natural to want to find someone but you don't need to rush.

 

You are almost 18 yo, so you have plenty of time to meet a girl/woman in real life. Give it a few more years before you grab to these apps. Finish this nofap challenge and start overcoming any fears you have about approaching people. Go find a girlfriend in person. Nofap is so much more than just not fapping for 3 months. Improvements like approaching people, excersising, hobbies, removing bad habits is part of it.

I am 23 and have never had a girlfriend or sex. My mind sometimes tells me to download a dating app, and I have even downloaded one, but I immediately deleted it. It felt wrong, it felt like the easy road. Personally asking a girl out is like taking the hard road. It's more difficult, but you learn most of it and it often brings you to the most beautiful spots.

There is nothing wrong with these apps, and I might use them one day, but for now, I suggest to not use them.

 

I recently have a girlfriend (asked her out in person when we were pretty much just strangers to one another - it still can work!), but I think I am like you because when I was still single and working on my PMO addiction, I found that dating apps and the such were triggers for me to PMO. This is nothing against dating apps, but for me and how I would have used it, dating apps were more unhelpful as it continued to make me objectify women (Think about it - dating websites/apps showcase a gallery of women that I may or may not find attractive. Kinda like P, no?).

You're not even 18 yet, so please don't stress. I don't think it's legal for people under 18 to even put themselves on a dating site and most of the women on there wouldn't be interested to date a minor. I think you have identified in yourself that you are toying with the idea of using dating apps in order that you do not have to step up to the challenge of approaching someone you find attractive. The girlfriend I have now took a lot of courage on my part, but much more than that, involved learning from the mistakes I made when I asked girls out previously. You are young still and age is on your side. Be bold now and your future self will thank you for it.

 

The problem with dating sites is that there a lot of damaged women on there. These girls are rarely relationship material. On top of that, you've got the massive amounts of subpar dudes who validate these women with messages and likes, allowing them to be even pickier. Unless you're attractive, the odds are stacked against you.

If you haven't had luck dating in the real world, you'll have an even harder time online. I'd focus on expanding your social circle (once you join university and get a part-time job, that's dozens of potential girls for you) and going from there.

 

If you truly reboot, you will eventually have the confidence and motivation to talk to girls. I used to be like you several years ago, and (although married now) I now feel like I could easily flirt with attractive girls if I wanted to. It's all thanks to quitting PMO.

 

No it's not.

Detach from IG, FB, Twitter and all that BS, and you'll have a new perspective.

They are not necessary.

Get outside and be around people, but first, be comfortable with yourself.

 

How long have you and @ILoathePorn been together, @ILoathePwife? I kind of admire internet to marriage stories. I mean, it definitely is on the rise but still makes me curious. Internet brings us so many more options!

 

The problem with dating sites is there are a lot of damaged men on there. These boys are rarely relationship material.

 

We will have been married for 13 or 14 years this year. Doesn't seem like it will have been that long.

 

We met on a Christian dating site online and got married about a year and a half later.

I was totally going to make fun of you, babe, but now it turns out I'm not totally sure. Ha! I think it will be 13 years this summer, though. I'm actually usually worse with dates than he is. And we've both forgotten our anniversary more than once. For me, it's not really about celebrating on the day, I grew up with a truck driver dad and my husband also doesn't have a M-F 8-5 schedule, so to me it makes sense to celebrate when you can spend time together, not on the actual day.

I see nothing at all wrong with internet dating. It does work for a lot of people. And it makes sense, we do so much online now.

I will say I have a friend who plans to wait for sex until marriage and she is having a HORRIBLE time online dating. It seems most of the guys are just looking to take a "test drive" (an actual quote from a guy totally shocked at her stance on sex), not find marriage. As in, how could he know if he wanted to marry her without a test drive? (vomit) I wonder how much porn and PMO addiction plays into it? These guys message her in text speak, not full sentences, no substance, and cut pretty quickly to I wanna kiss you, massage you, do you have pretty feet? And then act very rudely and even hostilely to her when she mentions she wants to wait for sex. I might just be super sensitive but I suspect some of them are PMO addicts.

Back when I was dating, I told guys that I wanted to wait for marriage and I didn't get shamed like she is. Like what she is doing is wrong and a very bad thing! But, 1. I focused on Christian dating sites (but I also did some IRL dating too) not secular dating sites and 2. I was dating two decades ago. So. Wow. I feel old now.

 

Yeah the sense of entitlement of men is ridiculous online. I have a strong opinion on why this is but I'll just leave it at this. *Sigh* It's just sad. We live in a broken world

 

AMEN!!! I fear for my 3 year old daughter. (And, if we should ever adopt more, any sons too.)

 

Huh? I get my dates from the grocery store.

 

THANK YOU!

And it's like have they dated EVERY single woman ON those sites?
What about women who are JUST BUSY?
For e.g.

Anyway, lovely come back ;-)
(And some truth)

 

This may depend on where you are from but my end (lets say middle-eastern europe), girls really appreciate being hit up on the street. They say it just doesn't happen anymore. I've heard quite a few stories both from my friends and my ex on how they were approached and I could tell from how they were talking about it this made them feel very attractive.

If this is the case wherever you're from you've already got the upper hand. If you don't want to do online dating and that leaves you with approaching girls in person. This can be very difficult especially if you're anxious but that's how real men do it. Plus you can see straight away what you're getting - if you ever do any online dating you'll quickly find the girls look way hotter in pictures than in real life.

 

A few guys have said the opposite about me that I look "much prettier" or "beautiful" in "real life
Then again I'm just not that photogenic !

As a woman, there is such a taboo against us approaching so you know guys, DO it!

And, yes, we DO appreciate it.

Not every woman will. And not every woman will say yes. But we DO enjoy it all the same I mean in the sense it's nice to be appreciated? Sometimes the technique used is creepy & that's gross & we don't like THAT (eg this guy rubbing his hand on my back for eg) but it feels nice to be admired.

I thought for such a long time I must be old & ugly now as being approached is rare, but sometimes I think maybe guys DON'T approach as often as they used to.

I DO understand the reasons.

But also, PMO seems to be linked to an increase in social anxiety & I think POSSIBLY more guys today are into PMO & their society anxiety has gone up & maybe they rely on online more.

I do not know.