Just A Little Foreplay

"It's just a little foreplay, it's just a little fooling around."

(This piece may cause triggers)

That's what I tell myself when my girlfriend and I are intimate with each other. And yet, I am one of those Fapstronauts who is doing a hard mode 30 day challenge who is in a relationship. Since starting the challenge, I have not orgasmed when we are together, but I've gotten close. I know it is a problem, and I want to change it.

The problem created by foreplay without the sex, as many of you know, is that it creates a precedent for the sex. It places my body into a physiological state of craving for intercourse. As such, it not only increases my desire for sex, but makes me much more susceptible to look at porn. I do not want to continue this behavior and find out the hard way that "fooling around" led back to porn.

Her and I have talked, and she is on boar with my abstinence, and supporting me on my NoFap journey. It is of course hard at times when we are intimate in any capacity. Whether it involves kissing, or touching her breasts, it all creates sexual stimulation.

This has been particularly difficult for her, because she is very much inclined to be sexually active with me. And there are times when I choose to stimulate her to the point of orgasm (clit play). At this point I am not sure if I should be aiming to ask her to participate with me in the PMO challenge, or just have her support me.

I would appreciate advice from others out there who have GF's or significant others and are doing PMO challenges. Whether that be setting boundaries, doing NoFap together, or whatever else.

 

Thanks for the response. And yes, I do think an orgasm experienced with a woman is a healthy juxtaposition to porn. For me, right now, because I am in the early stages of overcoming unhealthy PMO, I am choosing to endure a time of sexual celibacy as well. I think this will help me heal faster, and in a more appropriate way. Sex with a woman is still an intense dopamine release, and I think that my physiology would be affected in a negative way, and hinder my recovery.

 

Hey, thanks @HappyDaysAreHereAgain . She does not have a problem with porn. I was just surmising that perhaps going through this with me in some capacity would be better for a healthy relationship for "us". I think the idea would be that eventually I would return to "O" with her, while still abstaining P/M. At this point, I am just taking my recovery one step at a time.