A Different Strategy

I did that like 3 years ago and it works but 1 plus 2 plus all the way to 10 is like 55 days so if your not in a rush to quit then it works but once you make it to day 30 you would've already made it to day 90 a few times over. so early on its a good idea but after day 5 or so its quite repetitive and your reseting a lot. but if its the only way for you to succeeded just realize once you make it to day 19 its not a straight wipe because the majority was not doing it. But best of luck to you I hope you make it to day 365 and beyond.

 

If i were to do it doubling or tripping would be good and if you don't feel like doing it on the day then even better. so day 1 relate 2 relapse 4 don't feel like it. and if you make it to day 6 then wait till day 12. I think its not bad and this process is all about you only you know how to quit it for yourself I can only give you my experience

 

When I finally got serious about stopping I took time to educate myself about the whole brain chemical thing. I came to conceive of my problem as not with me, but with my brain. My brain was/is addicted to the dopamine released from PMO. I think trying to eliminate thoughts of porn is necessary, and that means not watching it and for me not hearing it (the sounds of sex are at least as problematic for me as the visuals). I have installed a lot of filters to make it more difficult to access porn, though of course, any of them can be gotten around. I find that I often am deterred from watching porn when I try and access it and the filters slow me down--it reminds me of why I have the filters there in the first place. I still compulsively want to look at porn, but, I have made good strides at not PMOing when I do look at it, and I look at it a lot less than before. I have made good steps in breaking the PMO cycle, meaning when I P I seldom (as in weeks or months) MO, and that is a big thing. So, my advice, take steps to make it difficult to access porn or to think about porn. If you want to think about sex, think of it with a real person you know, and think of real sex, not the porn sex that pumps out those brain chemicals. Even when you do watch or think about P, don't fap when you do,

which actually becomes easier when you are watching less porn or not doing it when you are actually watching it. Remember, porn is the trigger for the release of the brain chemicals, and watching it less helps every day to bring those chemicals back to normal. Good luck, Heneman.

 

I think it's all rather the same thing with the exception being how you set goals. Lots of guys set smaller goals in the beginning and ratchet it up. If it works for you, excellent. For me though, I had to quit porn cold turkey. I tried weaning myself off of it in the past, and it never worked, and, in fact, the porn addiction just became more entrenched. I just had to stop and break the cycle and give my brain a rest. Sure there are withdrawals, but even with your system, there are withdrawals. I agree there is perhaps too much emphasis placed on the counters. They have value inasmuch as they mark progress, but having to reset, especially multiple times, is demoralizing. Still, this is a one day at a time thing. I don't watch porn today. I don't think about 30 days or 90 days or forever. I can choose to look at porn anytime I want to, so it'll still be there should I decide to come back to it.

I do think a different sort of counter would be helpful. Instead of number of days since last looked at porn or fapped or whatever, the counter should be number of days porn/fap free since I started this journey. So for the guy who had 50 days and then relapsed, his counter would say "50 out of 51 days porn free" instead of "1 day since last looked at porn."

 

How about not setting any goals in the beginning? The saying just for today as Just for today I will not watch porn. When it comes down to it today is all we have. Its worked with other addictions why not this one aswell? Nicely put blue I agree completely.

 

Yes maybe what we are building is not a set of days, free from porn. But resolve to stand against the desire to PMO. And to say goodbye to our addiction, dig the grave put PMO there and bury it. Dealing with the grief and loss of PMO. Picture your life without PMO and believing that that life has started.


hmm....
this sounds banner worthy.

 

I started this process about 18 months ago. At the time I was addicted to PMO. I never had an ED issue, and my sex life with my wife was good...or so I thought. We had regular sex almost daily with her having multiple orgasms. Thing is, I did not O during regular sex, only during PMO, so long story short, my wife said quit it or go. I did not realize I had a problem, or that the problem hurt my wife's self esteem. I did not think it was a big deal I did not, could not, O during sex, but it hurt my wife's feelings. For me quitting looking at porn has been the biggest challenge. Part of that problem is that porn, being images that fire off those brain chemicals that cause the problem, are everywhere. Not just real pornography, for me, but on Yahoo, AOL, and cable television. Part of my problem was that I had drifted into the really hardcore stuff, more than just people making love. That's part of the PMO addiction cycle. Initially Penthouse and Playboy are enough,(or are the beginning), but with the internet I was moving on to categories like "rough sex" or "bdsm", things which I was not remotely interested in real life, but pictures my addicted brain needed to pump out more chemical gratification. I am mostly past that now, but, still, I open my browser and see the latest girl of the day of swimsuit model and its right there on the edge. Clicking on those images, while not considered pornography, still tempts the urge. For what it's worth I will say it took me a good year to break the PMO cycle. By that I mean I probably MO about twice a month, but not while looking at P, or thinking of it. That is not a complete fix, but it's better. I still struggle with looking at porn compulsively, but I am probably down to about 20% from where I started. Today I stopped myself from clicking on the Victoria's Secret shot. Sounds pitiful, I know, but I could lose hours on that site even though it is not considered porn, and during the whole time the brain chemicals that want a fix would be oozing, so to speak. And the day is still young, so I have a few hours to NOT click on that shot, which opens every time I open Yahoo. I don't go to Yahoo to fix, but nonetheless, the urge to fix is right there when I open it up. So, I know you want a quick fix, rules to play by. I don't have them. BUT, I would start by trying to separate P from MO. If you have to MO, don't do it to P. Don't think of P when you MO. Make a conscious effort to think of something, anything, other than P if you have to MO. If you can separate the P from the MO, that is if you can train your brain to distinguish the chemical brain reward of MO from P, it's a first step. During the last year I have MO'd maybe 15 times, and I have PMO'd maybe 3. I have also had orgasms with my wife during what would be considered regular sex probably 100 times. Rebooting, resetting, is a process, not an event. My first step to was to separate the P from the MO, and then later separate the M from the O, and then greatly reduce if not totally eliminate the M. It's not scientific, but it got me here. Good luck.