Female Object

Catching up . . .

You are welcome. I was reflecting back when I created this thread and was remembering just how much I thought of women as sexual objects. I remember when I was younger, I never did that. It wasn't until I had been looking at porn and chatting online that I started to objectify women. Then it got worse as the years went by. It is crazy how porn can change your very thoughts like that. I am so glad that I don't do that anymore. I feel more human.

Yeah, now that you mention it, I do feel less stress due to not doing that anymore. Good point!

I can see what you are saying. Even when I was objectifying women, I never stopped caring for them or anybody else. When a woman or anybody for that reason is seen as an object, they are just that, something to be used and tossed to the side when done or tired of having. When people aren't seen as objects, I think that real connections can be made and I suppose like you said you start caring more. I believe that is a good thing, especially in this world we have today.

It makes me wonder if the media/hollywood these days don't play a role in that. Media/hollywood is everywhere telling us that we have to look a certain way, dress a certain way so I think a lot of people start believing that. I actually think that someone who is dressed more modestly can be sexier due to the mystery. They don't have everything out on display for people to see. You end up having to use your imagination, and when I say that I mean in a healthy way. You aren't necessarily out to use them and toss them to the side, but to actually get to know them and build a relationship.

I too would be interested in some female perspectives into this topic. I don't think that objectifying women determines the success of someones journey. I do think that at some point during that journey that many people see how they used to view women in the past and how the NoFap journey has changed their views regarding women. I say many because I think it would be incorrect to say everybody that partakes this journey.

 

I think realizing that I was objectifying was a big part of it. Before, I had no idea that I was actually objectifying women. If I remember correctly, I didn't even realize it until after I had started my reboot. Once I realized what was going on, I had to keep telling myself to not objectify women and I think a big part of that was fantasies that would play in my head. It sounds creepy now that I am typing this out. Anyways, I would start to pay closer attention to my thoughts and if my mind started to objectify I would tell it to stop and think about something else. I hope that this is making sense. It is late and I need to go to bed. So I think that being mindful after I realized what was going on and wanting to also change that perspective. I think that at some point during the reboot the mind changes how it sees things. I hope this made sense.

 

I am glad that I could help. Is your husband on NoFap? If he isn't and is addicted to P, let him know we are here for him if he wants to join. He will get tons of support and ideas to help as well. Stay strong!

 

I very much totally agree with you and understand what you are saying. I don't believe the objectifying stopped right away and that it took some time into my reboot before I started realizing that I was even doing that. After I realized it, the reboot continued to take over and eventually that went away. I remember before that I could never look someone of the opposite sex in the eyes because of my thoughts and now I have no problem doing that. It is nice to have that off my shoulders.