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Abstinence vs repression

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ddinnov, Mar 13, 2017.

  1. Mar 13, 2017 #1
    ddinnov

    ddinnov New Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    New user here. I'm wondering about the effects of going cold turkey on PMO and how it can cause repressed urges that come out later as a big relapse. This has been my experience in the past from trying to quit. Is there a guide on how to healthily abstain with a conscious way of dealing with urges that doesn't just forcefully bury them only for them to 'explode' when the levee breaks.

    I'm very interested in the concept of channelling sexual energy up the spine into creative genius - have yet to nail it.

    Just started on my journey (again) abstaining from P as I'm not going to force too much change on myself at once. I've started eating better and exercising more so too much change at once will cause my brain to snap back to homoeostasis.

    I'm in my 40s and married (hence not abstaining from O) and came here through Dr Robert Glover's podcasts on healthy masturbation and 'No more Mr Nice Guy' book.
     
    ddinnov, Mar 13, 2017
    ddinnov, Mar 13, 2017
    #1
  2. Mar 13, 2017 #2
    Proceed

    Proceed Fapstronaut

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    Seems to me like you are taking a step in the right direction.. I have quit cold turkey on PMO a couple of times and like you I eventually failed. But After trying many more times I think I am going to finally break the habit this time. It just takes an incredible amount of will power, and if you don't have that, well then you're not really going to change anything about yourself. Hope this helps
     
    Proceed, Mar 13, 2017
    Proceed, Mar 13, 2017
    #2
  3. Mar 14, 2017 #3
    ddinnov

    ddinnov New Fapstronaut

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    I have the willpower because I've given up cocaine, alcohol, meat and MMO gaming all after being very addicted to them (not meat but giving it up was hard).

    I told my therapist about this and he was concerned about me repressing natural needs and urges which can also be unhealthy and cause problems down the line. I'm just wondering what strategies people use to process urges appropriately when they come along.
     
    ddinnov, Mar 14, 2017
    ddinnov, Mar 14, 2017
    #3
  4. Mar 14, 2017 #4
    diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    Well I would argue that you're not repressing natural urges. It's the same as someone who is obese going on a diet. Not eating chocolate would not be suppressing a natural urge (although food is a natural urge) and similarly with prolonged overconsumption of PMO we reset our internal satiety. In short, your urges are your brain yearning for the dopamine hit from porn and not your body's natural urges. Rebooting should restore the balance though and then you won't be suppressing - you'll respond to your natural urges rather than P ones.
     
    diddykong, Mar 14, 2017
    diddykong, Mar 14, 2017
    #4
    TheLoneDanger likes this.
  5. Mar 14, 2017 #5
    Proceed

    Proceed Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes when I am really feeling the urge and struggling, I literally just doing anything besides watching porn/masturbating. For example I may have a beer or something. Yes it is alcohol, but it is only one beer and I am indeed abstaining from porn. The next day, I feel good about myself because I still have my no PMO streak going on, and I only drank one beer. Also I know that I probably won't have this addiction forever. Hopefully this helps x)
     
    Proceed, Mar 14, 2017
    Proceed, Mar 14, 2017
    #5

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