Relapse !! Hopeless. but strong..

I was on a full year no PMO sex after I recently recognized how I have been misusing myself through these evil.
I was happy after hitting the 31st day and was continually seeking to add some of the remaining months ahead since 5th feb and I really dont understand why I could have tripped soo easily into porn again.
I have relapsed 5 times after the 31st day and recently I needed some energy coz of the depression I had from doing this and it I decided to get an energy drink so as to provide the energy to work as ambitiously I as I used to befall the fall.
So I went for monster, with 979kcal/500ml and decided to take it. It was nice but the after effects the following day were disastrous, thought forms of committing suicide occupied my mind, I knew I had to cancel them. But I have some glitter of hope as from today I have started once more,and I will keep on updating my fellow fapstronauts about my progress.
I really hate the cumshots,black booty ,facials ,bbw scenes from those videos I have watched and poisoned my mind.
I dont know what God has considered about me but its that gut feeling of something wrong , thinking of hellfire, porn should be considered the 1st thing out of the human planet to avoid making us sex zombies with dead minds.

 

Thanks alot vic. I know am gonna make it till the end. No loosing hope