My Dreams of MG

So... What do you even like about her that much? She clearly is not your type (of character/intellect).

 

Hey man, I wish I could help you out. As far as the age gap goes, I think your attraction to her has mostly to do with youth I wouldn't rationalize it beyond that. I mean, older guys going after young girls isn't exactly a new thing, in evolutionary terms women are most fertile at a young age while guys can continue to provide genetic material well into their older years (though recent evidence shows that sperm denatures significantly by then, increasing chances of less healthy offspring).

Beyond that if she's into the stuff she's into and you're not, you can't change that. You shouldn't go around wanting to change that in people. If she has those qualities, maybe you're not actually interested in her personality and it's more of a lust thing.

I can't say much more. I can understand how you feel right now, these kinds of emotions literally drive you insane. They're incredibly irrational, so to try to approach it logically will end up getting you lost, and to try to approach it emotionally turns you into a weepy, indecisive sap (at least for me haha). Isn't love grand?

Maybe try not to be so attached to these emotions (note I mean the emotions and not this girl MG). Kind of like when you get an urge to watch porn, you can sit back and experience the desire wash over you without interfering in it, and that gives you a sort of control over it.

 

Honestly dude how many other girls do you know. I mean to say that she is the "one" is really from inexperience. I somewhat know the feeling i'm 19 and like a 16 year old so its not the same but I have a feeling.

But honestly the sister and age are minor problems because if she likes you those are fairly meaningless. But different likes and dislikes is actually also fine because no two people are the same. But if you are very religious and she isn't and that is a problem for you then maybe I can see how it would be difficult.

I just think you should get to know her but date other people or at the very least meet. You might only like her because she's one of the few girls that you are attracted to. Go out there dude and get to know her better and see what she thinks of the idea.

Good luck man and thanks for trusting us that is a high compliment.

 

I feel like I need to reply to this, although doing so makes me question my judgement. I'm certainly not a relationship expert, as I've only ever had one, but I have been with her for almost 25 years and married for nearly 23 of that. However, I have some other unusual circumstances which might lend perspective to your situation. Or might not. Hopefully someone will get something out of this post, because it's going to reveal a lot more about me than I am truly ready for. This is going to take a lot of explaining just to describe the situation.

I have an emotional attachment to a sixteen year old girl to an extent that many people will likely find creepy. (The same one I wrote in my journal about sitting through awkward film scenes with.) She comes from a large family with an absent father. We are close friends with her mother and all her siblings. Actually, the one I'm most attached to is now eleven years old. That one has a very forward personality and became very fond of me at church almost two years ago and drew us in to her whole family. I feel as strongly about her as I do my own kids. The kids all adore me and I am a part-time stand-in father figure to most, if not all, of them to some degree although it's hard to say just how much because it's a sensitive subject that they won't talk about directly. My feelings about the sixteen year old have another dimension. Rather than simply fatherly, I feel a very peer-like connection to her. Over time I realized that she is very much like me personality-wise. She is introverted, shy, socially awkward, self-conscious, intelligent, artistic, sensitive, and a little dark. We also like much of the same music. I believe she has emotional issues similar to mine, but is very reserved about her feelings, as I am and especially was at that age. Our shared quiet nature makes her the hardest to get to know from her family, especially for another shy introvert. We have been alone at times and talked little to not at all, but I still treasure her company even in silence and she has shown signs that she feels likewise. I have slowly built a rapport with her over months because I would like to become confidants. I think it would be mutually beneficial for us to be able to discuss our similar mood issues. The only reason I am active on any social networks is to communicate with her. I think about her every day and wish that we could be more open with each other.

Whenever I get to know any reasonably attractive woman (as anti-social as I am, that's not many), my brain spins out random romantic or sexual thoughts about them. It's part of the way my ADD brain works: endlessly rehearsing multitudes of social situations in my imagination, however unlikely, to compensate for my inability to read social cues in whatever situations actually play out. (It doesn't work very well.) However, I know that I would never act on these impulses. Even if this girl exhibited "daddy issues" and developed a romantic or sexual attraction to me, and I were somehow available, I know that we're just not right for that.

Now what advice would I give you based in my experience?
First I will say I'm generally supportive of the "half your age plus seven" rule which would suggest that you shouldn't date anyone younger than 21.5. However, I realize that love doesn't always follow such tidy rules. I still think it's wise to be cautious before disregarding that guideline. What I would suggest is to be the best friend you can to this girl first. Be a confidant. Be a mentor. Then if she wants to be closer than that, she will let you know. Even if she does, I would still take things slowly and make sure that she's not going to regret it later. And in the meantime, don't allow yourself to focus solely on her. Get to know other women and see how you feel about them as well. As for unsupportive family, that largely depends on how important they are to her and how much her relationships with them would suffer.

Anyway, I hope someone finds this useful so that I haven't outed myself as a freakshow for nothing.