Femdom addiction for 7 years, please help!

tell her to come massage me xD addiction does this bro, you want it more than anything else because everything else seemes not enjoyable as it but ive done nofap before so I know its possible to recover and even from these type of fetishes, but personally id recommend not to engage with girls if you are too early in the stage because you have to learn how to control yourself some time before so it wont lead to relapse

i think in 90 days you will have a different approach if you manage to continue no pmo and probably have more desire to meet with them not to fuck but actually enjoy just conversating with girls

 

ofcourse bro, set a goal of 90 days and follow it up to 90 and if you want to continue after 90, then its your choice but making a set date is imo better than saying ill just not do it anymore because it makes you strive for something you can touch

i actually think you should write, because the way you write is entertaining and you have a style which makes it interesting to read, i think the whole world suffers from this but if you contribute to others what you achieved, that is shown that you are generous but i would recommend before writing that you atleast go on some time on no PMO so you gain some credibility

you dont have to say things when you deny the thoughts because then you waste energy trying to focus etc, just simply dont let it continue, dont need to replace it or anything, i tried replacing and just denying and replacing is energy taking and it makes it harder

 

Never search anything on YouTube, especially using the word 'fetish'. Either you didn't know that or your brain was tricking you into relapsing. Never find an excuse to search for fetish things. It will always make you relapse.

 

I totally sympathise with your position. Some of my favourite porn was/is femdom POV/JOI. It is incredibly powerful and dangerous. I am trying to reboot at this moment. I feel like I am so down the rabbit hole that I don't remember what normal sexuality is

In time we will both beat this. Good luck mate.

 

Hey man.. I thought that was me writing the post lol. I'm in the same exact situation.. Your story matches mine almost perfectly but one thing is different... believe it or not I remember having fetishes since I was 6 for women in leather boots and gloves.. I sometimes imagined being kidnapped by them.. or even kicked or beaten... I didn't know what's going on when I was that young, but I enjoyed the feeling of that imagination. Back in the day, I never thought I was abnormal or anything. I just enjoyed that imagination and was okay with it. (I was never abused or had a childhood trauma or anything). In real life however, I've never tolerated (still don't) being humiliated or beaten by a real person. After my puberty, I started with porns that girls were wearing leather boots. Then after a while, I found myself watching femdom porns with strapon and stuff... and I always hated myself for it. Especially, I got really depressed when I found out that I developed erectile dysfunction because of it. I can't get an erection for casual sex.. (I'm 19, I'm completely healthy). People tell me I'm a good looking guy.. Lots of girls that I find super hot show interest or even ask me out but I just can't do anything... My dick only works when I'm being a submissive. Also almost all the girls that I went out with, eventually told me that I'm too good for them and that I deserve better.. so they stopped seeing me. I became a real "woman-hater" after a while. I told myself: "They always complain about guys who brake their hearts but don't like you cause you're "too good"?!! I'm fucking done."
I stopped going out with girls.
I did a lot of research though and I realized the problem is not me being "too nice". The problem is that I "don't value myself". For example, if I really had to study for an exam but the girl tells me that she really wants to see this movie tonight, I would say sure! If I gotta go to swim practice and she really wants to go shopping and don't have a ride I would definitely not go to practice just to be her driver and make sure she's happy. If the girl is not a dominant person (which most girls aren't), she's not gonna like this. She might even feel bad cause she might think she's using you. (She doesn't know or can't understand that you're enjoying this!!). So yeah.. I'm not a woman-hater anymore. I don't blame them for my problem. But unfortunately I hate myself even more for being so submissive.
I stopped maturbating two weeks ago.. The first week I felt great. But then, the second week... it got worse everyday. To the point where yesterday, I tricked myself to take a look at some pics, then somehow ended up watching a femdom porn again. My excuse was: "I just wanna find out who that hot girl was". I haven't masturbate yet. But I'm so horny I feel like I'm going crazy.

 

same same same !! i see people in here is struggling with same problem, trigger, and prone just like me..
I think we are in the same boat.
Well, for people who want to read mine story :
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/just-want-to-share-who-really-i-am.97245/

I feel it that too !
I always believe everything have positive and negative effect, the positive i think we are just bunch of people that very care to others because we are easily to understand people feeling.. The negative, that's why we want to serve and too kind.. and also our genit*ls is very vulnerable part of body (man or woman) maybe that is the reason our stupid thought come from..
*But i don't know for sure, i'm not psychologist or else, it is just random thought on my bed..

Now, i just wondering is that No PMO for 90 days will really help us to get rid our fantasize and making a big change in our thinking ?

 

You are a smart and cool guy, you seem to have a nice personality, the advice i can give you at this point is, to try staying away from possible situations that can lead you to what your mind is really into(femdom), leaving porn is a good way to start, as its because of porn that our minds sometimes goes beyond reality, so try focusing in something else than porn and fetish toughts, a way of doing this is to start doing something that can start filling up that area of your life with something else, you said in your post that your not doing so well in school, well a way to start a change could be doing the oposite, like try studying for a close test and try getting the best note you can, and start reading something you like, by doing this you would be changing your way you normaly live life to another way you probably havent tried yet, wen you get a high note you can feel success, and cool sensations and start feeling important about yourself, probably trough these emotional state changes your emotional toughts twords girls can also change

 

Sup, bro.

I'm at the same position as you. I'm young, I do weightliftin everyday and have this fuckin femdom fetish. Mine started when I was 12 or something like that and it was not porn induced. I started to jerk off to that shit, when in reality I just want a cute girl who feels protected in my arms. I feel like this femdom thing's just like dirt that I need to clean up of myself so I can truly express my soul. I'm glad I found your thread today.

Something that helped me to disminish it is thinking about my past traumas and the relation I had as a child with my mother (full of power struggle, rejection and shit like that). I feel like every time I do it, the fetish slowly dies.

Stay strong, brah. We gonna make it.

 

Limit yourself, feet fetish is a very strong addiction, you must realize that you are weak therefore need all the assistence you can.
First of all install porn-blockers (I see you did that)
Second give yourself rules. You have got to realize when it is that you are most weak and vulnerable. Avoid those moments. Like for example dont ever bring the phone to the bathroom because one thing leads to another. Oh... let me see this picture, that looks good. Let me just see some celebrity feet. Maybe if I put my hand here. I'll just edge a little nothing will happen and then BAM! you relapsed. This is the most common way we fapstronauts relapse, Im sure of it.

 

I struggle with the same femdom addiction. You are not alone, this is becoming a much more common addiction than you think, but many are afraid to confront it or admit it. You are recognizing the problem and taking steps to deal with it and that is what is important. What I can tell you is it is very important to do this now because this addiction can get much worse and you will end up working in more real life situations that can destroy your life. There are many men out there, myslef included, that have become 24/7 real life servants and slaves to woman who are beyond am ruthless and cruel beyond anything you can possibly imagine. They will take every cent of your money and destroy your life and freedom. Once you get to this point it is much more difficult to get out... this is a dangerous addiction that can escalate to situations like this and believe me you do not want this. I hope there is no trigger in what I am describing because that is not my intention.. what I am saying is if you let this escalate and look for trouble, trouble will eventually find you. Once you are in a real life situation serving it will be almost impossible to get out.
I have joined this forum because I am in this predicament and can not get out. There was a point where it was just a Fetish and online porn like you and I wish I got out when I could. Now it is much more complicated. Please do yourself a favor and do not continue to watch the stuff. Do not brainwash yourslef and create your own problem. You deserve to be free from this and be in healthy normal relationship. You can do it

 

I'm very happy that I stumbled upon this thread. Guys, brothers, I or rather we have to stop this. I took the no PMO challenge and honestly i have relapsed thrice. I'll tell you my story. I believe that all of us need each other's help to get out of this addiction or rather a way of our sexuality. In the end I'll tell you the solutions I've got. My foot fetish started at the age of 10-12 and I remember myself imagining kissing the feet of 5-6 classmates of mine and that's how this mindset started to get stronger. 2 - 3 years later I imagined myself being humiliated by them and then further I started watching Femdom and foot fetish humiliation porn and in that case my story is similar to most of you. Today I relapsed or rather I tried to see if I could masturbate to normal porn and I couldn't, I mean I was irritated and had to open a femdom video. Then an year ago my ex gf was Giving me a handjob and I wasn't able to orgasm until and unless I thought of myself licking and kissing feet in a femdom humiliation scenario. Guys it's enough now, we need to go to the root cause of this problem and start working as soon as possible or rather immediately. Is this what are life is all about, licking and kissing someone's feet. Is this why we came to planet earth, to kiss feet and get humiliated? I suggest we have to enforce this desire of becoming a better person everyday, and act accordingly. We need to have a desire which is bigger than getting humiliated. We wouldn't be able to have s normal relationship and then children as we wouldn't be able to make love to our wife. We have to get out of this.

 

I am really sorry that you are suffering with this.

Be careful what you wish for - you might just get it.

I too have had something similar. The way you (and I) have romanced female domination in our minds is totally unrealistic and divorced from reality. In my experience, if many of these things happened in real life, you would be disgusted and not find it stimulating at all.

Perhaps try this. There are people all over the world that need assistance, in one form or another. About half of them are female. Perhaps try for the next month to live out your femdom dream by going out of your way to help other people, especially females. Help the old lady by carrying her shopping home. Donate money to a woman's charity. Next time you go out to dinner with females, insist on paying for their dinner (expecting nothing in return). These are things that you should also be prepared to do for other men, but for now, just do them for women and expecting nothing in return. I think after a while you will find that helping people is good.

Now, something might happen while you are trying this. You might find that you are taken for granted. How does that feel? When it's not in your bizzaro fantasy land, you might find it really hurtful and disenchanting. It would probably make you angry. IMHO part of the secret to escaping these fetishes is to understand that living the reality is not like the fetish.