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Hello everyone, this is my story...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Teo R, Mar 27, 2017.

  1. Teo R

    Teo R Fapstronaut

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    This is the link to my journal
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/my-journal.96551/

    Hello everyone,
    I'm a 27 year old bipolar male and have been addicted to porn for about 15 years. When I started using porn I used it casually without realising its negative effects. Many times I have become more antisocial because I just wanted to be at home watching porn rather than be with friends or family. A couple of years ago I finally accepted that I had an addiction to porn and masturbation. Ever since then I have been struggling to quit this addiction for a couple of years but I haven't had any success yet. My longest streak without PMO was like 9 months. The reason I relapsed that time was because I went into a manic episode and I was just out of control of myself. For those of you that don't know about manic episodes, it's a stage that bipolar people go through where someone has huge amounts of energy, has hypersexuality, is restless, and has bizarre thoughts of grandiosity. After that I have tried many times to quit but it just lasts a couples of weeks or at the most 1 month and a half. In the past I have used PMO to deal with my depression and anxiety.But now I understand that the cause of my periods of depression may well be caused by my porn addiction in addition to my bipolar illness. On the outside I'm a regular guy my age. I have a supporting family and I live somewhat well. But this hidden secret of mine about my PMO addiction doesn't let me be really happy. My family is a fully devoted catholic family and I also attend on a regular basis mass on Sundays. That's why I feel like a fraud because I keep this facade that I'm a good Catholic guy but deep down I know I am a sinner. I believe in God and hope to overcome this addiction with his help. But I also think that this support group in this forum is what I need right now because I haven't had the courage to tell anyone of my close ones about my addiction. The only persons I've told were the priests when I was confessing my sins but then again I would relapse and the cycle would repeat itself. I hope this is turning point for me because I would like to have a normal life without depending on porn.
    Thank you in advance for your support
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2017
    Prov2611 and D . J . like this.
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing your story and welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you.

    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
    Teo R likes this.
  3. Prov2611

    Prov2611 Fapstronaut

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    We all sin and fall short of the glory of God, but the important thing is not giving up! That you're here is indicative that you haven't given up :). it sounds like you likely had some good success with your nine month period of no PMO! I'd encourage you to write down your successes from that streak, as well as ANYTHING you think that could trigger you to relapse and give it up.

    If you need an listening ear, or just some words of support, hit me up! I definitely don't have things mastered yet, but I'm rooting for you!
     
    Teo R, johnf and D . J . like this.
  4. Teo R

    Teo R Fapstronaut

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    Thanks D.J , I'm currently keeping myself busy by taking a course to become a medical interpreter and I'm also trying not to stay alone with my computer for long periods of time.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  5. Teo R

    Teo R Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Prov2611 I really appreciate the support. I'm going to start a journal and I'm going to post the link here.
     
    Prov2611 likes this.
  6. Teo R

    Teo R Fapstronaut

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