Derobe Progress thread

I'm a self confident person.

I don't even enjoy it sometimes. I do it through frustration and boredom often.

My lifestyle goals are important to me which is why I want to get rid of porn.

I didn't go out today, I wanted to be alone and wanted to avoid social interaction. I forced myself to do some however I didn't enjoy it.

I will hit my goals.

 

Day 1 - 17 March 2017.

Let's see what I can do.

Focus currently on organising myself so I'm more efficient and productive.

Having systems in place for my business so I can do more on autopilot and not get caught wondering, a morning ritual, fitness schedule, more social time as well.

 

66 days without PM thats the first goal. No P or M - O is fine as long as it's with a partner.

 

Day 3 - going well.. Looking at girls again as normal and sexually attracted.

Been very productive. Head in business. Focus, planned, organised.

 

Day 5 I relapsed, went on a two day viewing streak...

Then cooled off for a few days without too much effort. I'm mostly focused and excited about business, so staying away from porn is easier.

I haven't felt too many negative effects if I'm honest. I have to look at it and see if it's actually something I can do healthily, e.g watch porn.

I think the main danger is that it usually is fetishes, although not too too harmful (not into really dark stuff) - it still is away from normal sexual encounters with partners. I have slept with about 5 or 6 different partners in 4/5 month period. One is a regular. I have had issues with ED with a few partners, although certainly nerves, there have been occasions where I've managed to perform and 2 or 3 where I've had to call it a night.

If I see porn as the root cause of possible ED, I will probably be more encouraged to totally give up.

 

Busy with setting up a CRM for my business. Have pmo'd too. Being in front of a computer all day plus being horny, however such focus is on my business it doesn't have seemed to have got in the way too much, however I think it may have a much bigger effect when I am out and about again for business. Because of this I am implementing things in place such as a solid morning ritual that stimulates me mentally and physically for the day.

Things going well.

 

Binge day yesterday. Again I already know the effects, depleted energy and enthusiasm which is important for regular motivation and being the best version of ones-self. Self-esteem always takes a hit, the more this is recognised the easier it is to deal with. I have to forgive myself and do some mental work quietly. I haven't thought too much about meditating, my surroundings are often distracting although I could plug in headphones with a noise app.

Cleaning ones room, washing bedsheets, doing laundry - I find these things all contribute to a needed clean slate where goals can be reset and refocused on and action can begin after a big binge.

One unfortunate thing is, you lose muscle when pmo'ing and probs just testosterone in general. I think it may also affect sebum and hair growth. But definitely some muscle mass and ability to tense muscle and strength is lost after a binge especially. I do have physical goals to hit too, so this must be taken into account.

 

Really been in the depths of regular porn viewing again and noticing negative effects. Foggy brain, loss of energy, lack of motivation. More to come.