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Super bored with everything. Another withdrawal symptom?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Z_the_B, Jun 27, 2014.

  1. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    Its been 50 days. And to be honest, it wasn't that tough after week 2. I managed fine. I also derived great pleasures from little fun productive activities more than I usually would. I changed in many ways. I stopped feeling insecure, still have a little anxiety and I lost a lot of weight. My ed is still pretty bad and I am 17.

    But deep deep inside, I was and I still am SUPER BORED. I am so fucking bored. I can't stand boredom. Nobody can. I always was bored ever since I started this nofap thing but not as bored as I am today. I thought life was awesome without PMO but today this boredom thing has become such a big problem that I skipped college and slept for 2 and a half hrs in the afternoon. I am feeling extremely negative and thoughts of a cynic. Although deep inside I had thoughts of cynicism, I was always cheerful and happy and positive because being negative is being realistic and already knowing the outcome where as being positive offers a lot of possibilities.

    I am never ever going to PMO. That I am 100 percent sure of about myself. But I can't stand this boredom. I really can't. The activities that seemed to be the most fun seem to be boring right now. I have no energy or motivation to do anything. Is this a withdrawal symptom? How do I cope up with this? Whats your advice? I am feeling really stressed out and funny stuff is happening inside my stomach and it feels like my dick is calling me out to give it a few strokes lol like literally its exactly that feeling I am having and it sucks.

    I won't PMO. Its betraying myself and showing how committed I am to stuff. But how do I get over this?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2014
  2. 215

    215 Fapstronaut

    76
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    You know life. Ups and downs. This time will pass, stay strong and search for new activities to try.
     
  3. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    I know life has its ups and downs. But this is something I really had from the beginning but a very slight touch of it which has grown into something big. And I am completely, COMPLETELY hopeless that I might fully ever recover from ED. Its frustrating.
     
  4. Ha, first world problems, my brother.

    Seriously, though, just be happy that you've got a great streak going. Boredom is the least of your problems right now. Congrats on the hard work.

    I'm just going to be real with you. There is a WHOLE world out there and there is absolutely no reason to be bored. Go do an activity, invest in your hobbies, join a club. I could write an endless list of things to do. The world is YOUR playground and you create your own fate and how you conduct each day. It's up to us what we do with our own time and how we decide to be productive.

    If I'm ever bored, that is my own fault, because there are hundreds of things to do.

    Choose today how you will live.

    All the best.
     
  5. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    I started getting really bad withdrawal when I started searching for wallpapers for my tablet and I saw many beautiful pictures of women and I searched for the perfect wallpaper for 2-3 days and realized that this was turning into an obsession again. I have many hobbies but right now no energy to do anything except doing what I do the best. Waste time.
     
  6. Well you've just conditioned your mind to believe that you are a time waster. Everything starts with a though, and then from there WE create our own choices brother. You can have and be whatever you want in life. You are powerful. Use that power wisely, and decide what it is you want to do with your time.
     
  7. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    But I'm super lazy today lol.
     
  8. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    And my recovery from end is so super slow and it sometimes feels like I'm not even recovering as though its one of those permanent things. Its all so frustrating.
     
  9. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    It takes time, brother. Congrats on how far you've come.

    I've always had a particularly nostalgic love for my childhood years. If I could start life all over again, I totally would. Lately I've been realizing, though, that my love for it has to do with how I FELT during those years ... I felt enthusiastic, alive. Things were new and exciting. I just felt a sense of vitality in my head.

    Fast-forward to my teen years, and enter porn, personal ads, casual sex, you name it ... when you condition yourself to those types of euphoric highs that come from PMO, the everyday pleasures of life just seem incredibly boring. PMO and sexual fantasy feels exciting, and so it can seem like an easy, instant cure to boredom. When you cut yourself off from that one outlet, it's like you suddenly say, "well fuck ... what am I supposed to do to entertain myself now?"

    Exercise, being social, investing time in a hobby, etc ... these things won't immediately replace the excitement and enthusiasm you used to have. You've got years (I'm guessing) of conditioning to undo. Stay the course, keep moving forward, and I believe you'll start to feel that enthusiasm that you've been missing. You just have to starve that beast.
     
  10. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    I know I have come far but like I said about the wallpaper obsession it started all the withdrawal after so many days. I realized I was getting high on dopamine after 2 to 3 days and I stopped it right away. It isnt a relapse. I am not beating myself up on that. I wasn't even thinking about sex. I was just admiring the beauties lol BT this is all very immature. I don't think I am going to reset my counter because it is one of the biggest things that keeps me going and serves as a source of encouragement
     
  11. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    There's nothing wrong about being attracted to gorgeous women on desktop wallpapers. It's the mark of a healthy, sexual man to be attracted to women. But when you start dwelling on those thoughts, drawing up the scenario in your mind, creating the nitty-gritty details ... that's when you're getting into dangerous territory. From there, it's usually a pretty slippery slope to PMO. How many times have you heard "I relapsed ... it started so innocently, I was just looking at the SI Swimsuit Edition ..."

    No one sets out to relapse. But when you've got your guard down and you're not being aware of your own thoughts and state of mind, it's easy to slip into old habits.

    Since you didn't PMO, I wouldn't reset your counter either. Just be aware of the danger of wallpaper hunting. :)
     
  12. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    I fantasize about the real deal sometimes occasionally but I stop it after a minute or so when I realize what I am doing. And my occasional fantasies are not of sex. They are weird like I fantasize about being with that person and getting intimate with them. This has never set off any cravings to PMO or restlessness but I stopped this habit too. And to be honest.. After writing and speaking out my mind, I can feel my energy drive return back.
    I have accomplished many things thanks to nofap and I'm taking a moment to boast proudly that I lost about 11 KGS with diet exercise and intermittent fasting in about 2 to 3 months. I am thinking of studying now
    But again. E.D is one of the most depressing thing in this entire reboot and I sometimes doubt whether my reboot is working or not or about getting cured and why its taking a long time.
    And I am obsessed with women and their company ever since I was very small. I realize sleeping with a 100 women in the future won't accomplish anything meaningful and that its wrong and will never fully satisfy although I want to fall in love like a storybook romance thingy with a single girl but the thought of so many beautiful women out there and not being able to talk them without noticing their beauty without any bias and judgement is super frustrating. I also know that talking with every woman trying to get laid is unrealistic and frustrating that doesn't work every time. Women are seriously my weakness. I can't do any work without thinking of impressing them when they are around and falling in love with each and every woman. I literally fall in love everyday and I doubt if this will continue even after I get into a relationship.
     
  13. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    Its not about the sex at all when this happens but being around women thinking of making them laugh or impress and talk to them is my biggest weakness. I want to treat them like I do with normal people and people of my gender lol
     
  14. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    Hahaha ... you and I are a lot a like, buddy. Thankfully I think I've got a bit more experience than you in this arena, so let me offer you some advice.

    I have always put way too much of my self-worth in how women respond to me. If a beautiful woman was into me, I was on the top of the world--for a while. Whenever a woman rejected me, would take it VERY hard, even if the woman wasn't someone I was 100% interested in. I had relationships with girls that I KNEW weren't healthy or good for me, and when they broke it off, I felt like someone was amputating a limb. My reaction was WAY more than the relationship warranted.

    I craved the attention of women. I posted personal ads, and developed a bad addiction to casual sex with strangers. I've had sex with close to 200 women. Let me tell you something--every single one-night stand--every single one of them--was unfulfilling. Oh, they felt great in the moment--but at the very instant of orgasm, I'd feel the dissatisfaction come crashing down.

    Also, having that much sex gave me very unrealistic standards. Even when I was with a woman who was great in bed, I'd find myself lying there afterward thinking, "she was great ... but she wasn't as great as HER." I'm married now to a beautiful woman. But I can't help the fact that, physically speaking, the best and most fulfilling sex I've ever had was with the girl I lost my virginity with. Everything about it was just absolutely blissful ... and part of that is because I had nothing to compare it to. Everything with her was new, exciting, amazing ... whereas with all my future escapades, I was comparing.

    Trust me ... being with that many women only leaves you dissatisfied. You'll always be worried that you're missing out on someone better, hotter, or more sexually fulfilling. Don't become that guy.

    We live in a culture that tells us that sex with as many women as possible is a path to true sexual fulfillment, but don't buy into the lie. I'm living proof that that's a complete illusion.

    I'm going through a pretty difficult process now of abstaining, and trying to rewire my brain and my habits so I'm not so obsessed about "the one that got away", how good that sex was, and constantly trying to re-capture it. Do yourself a favor and make sure you don't end up like that. :)
     
  15. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    Thanks a lot mate but there's this part of me that's not bothered about sex. Its like for example and this has actually happened: I met a beautiful girl in a wedding and spent the whole evening being around her. I wasn't thinking about that sex. I was constantly trying to make her laugh and impress her and I did..but she had a boyfriend and although she liked me and searched for where I was to talk to me.. I was in her friend zone and she didn't want anything else. I loved everything about that evening and her and I got over that experience and unrealistic expectation too.
    So the thing is whenever there's someone beautiful in the room, I try to be my best self and impress them and this impairs my judgement every time because I can't talk to them normally like I do with the rest without impairing my judgement and treating them normally.
    I think this is because I'm a romantic at heart Lol but I don't think I will remain the same like this after I get into an actual relationship.
     
  16. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    Its this feeling of - omg she's perfect I'm all for her I don't want anyone else I'm crazy for her company..... "With the beautiful women I like. I hope this stops.
     
  17. Awesome post Visualedge, thanks for the insight.

    I agree that you were "juicing", Rocky. Also you're pretty young so the only way you're going to learn about relationships is by actually experiencing them. I guess one problematic habit that happens a lot here (to me at least) is putting women and interactions with them on a pedestal and making them less human than they are.

    As for your boredom, it may be partly a withdrawal symptom. Beyond that, stop being a victim! Go out there and make more opportunities to find new things. If you weren't in any clubs go join clubs, go find out what you're interested in, college is an awesome place to do this. As someone said- first world problems. There are tons of opportunities to push yourself out of your comfort zone at all times.
     
  18. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    I love you guys Lol and I guess you are right about experiencing relationships first. And I will have to deal with this weakness of women by the hard way or just ignoring them and trying to treat them like the rest of the population
     
  19. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    I want to press you to read what you wrote. On one hand, you're saying, "omg she's perfect I don't want anyone else" ... and then you add how that happens "with the beautiful women I like."

    Women. Plural.

    You know how you said you fall in love every day? I was the exact same way. In college, my roommate would introduce me by saying, "this is Chris ... he falls in love once a week." And it was true! We spent many night lying across the room in our separate beds, looking at the ceiling and talking about girls we liked.

    Not surprisingly, I became a serial monogamist. Despite messing around sexually with close to 200 women, I had 7 different relationships that all lasted over a year. I would get SO into a girl, wanting to spend all my time with her, neglecting other close male friends ... until the newness and appeal would wear off, and I'd see someone more attractive, more sexual, etc.

    I was dating a gorgeous brunette several years ago, and we were sitting in an airport terminal waiting for a flight out of Burbank, CA. We had just recently started having sex, and it was good. The relationship was good. We had a ton of very deep, important things in common, and we were always laughing.

    While we were sitting there waiting for our plane, a JAW-DROPPING woman walked past us in a very snug outfit. She looked like a porn star (considering that we were in the San Fernando Valley--porn capital of the country--she very well might have been). She was wearing a shirt that said "I fall in love once a day" across her VERY well endowed chest. She sat about 15 feet away from us, and I tried my best not to look at her too much--or at least be discreet about it. At one point, she stood up, and bent over at the waist to look through her bag. I stared and soaked it ALL in.

    At that point, I wanted nothing more than to get up, walk away from my girlfriend, and go talk to this girl. Hit on her. Get her in bed. 10 minutes earlier I was sitting with a beautiful girl that I was in a relationship with and sexually attracted to, and now, I felt suddenly burdened by her presence--like I just wanted her gone so I could pursue this new opportunity that was right in front of me. I hated feeling that way. I felt like such a douchebag. But I knew it was a problem. I knew I was dealing with more than just a genuine love of beautiful women.

    There's a saying ... "He who has loved many women has loved none of them ... but he who loves a single woman has loved them all."

    Just check yourself. Make sure you're not putting all your self-worth in what women think of you, or putting them on such a high pedestal that their approval or rejection means everything. It CAN be indicative of a "love addiction", which isn't uncommon among sex addicts or PMO addicts.
     
  20. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    lol. Its not all about physical beauty for me sometimes. Its like we have a lot in common, shes so awesome. I wanna marry her right now lol.
    But I guess you are right. I read this quote by this awesome funny indian sage called OSHO, that once you see a beautiful flower, admire it but don't pick it up. Just admire it and leave it at that and carry on with your life.

    So once I get a beautiful girl that has a lot in common, even if I lust for other women too, I am not letting her go because I know that sex with other women and the thrill that it offers is temporary and not meaningful.
    I always imagine myself to be faithful and dedicated to only woman lol.

    But those things are wayyyyyy ahead. I have ED. There's no way I should be thinking about about making love or lust because I am incapable of both in this phase of my life and this ED thing is by far the most frustrating thing ever and I've suffered a lot because of it. I hope I become fucking normal even if it takes a year but I always need the assurance that one day I will get cured and become normal.. Its been many months and years. I have forgotten what normal feels like. Look at what 3 years of addiction and excessive masturbation did to me. :(

    From a talented, bold kid I've turned into an ever-nervous, anxious teenager and I don't think I will ever be able to talk boldly in front of the whole classroom without shivering or talk to my crush without being nervous and shaky.
     

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