OK, so she busted me again and here's how..

Get off PMO, and you may just find one. Get in recovery, so when you meet her you will be ready.
Good luck!

 

Yes I agree this journal will be good for others to read and good for you to reflect on in the future. How are you doing?

 

I agree about perceptions. I liken PMO to an impulse buy: you have instant gratification, but any good feelings wear off rapidly, only to be replaced by a flood bad emotions. It's often only then realized we didn't want to buy in the first place. All the best Jim!

 

Yeah maybe.

Or I'm just ugly af, not attractive enough or rich enough lol.

 

Great story especially the female perspective. Before I found out about NoFap I used to always think I would be able to stop this addiction once I was married. Now Im not married but I know its because of porn that Im single. Please continue to share your journey as I have just relapsed

 

Cut yourself some slack, and worse case scenario: you've got nothing to lose!

 

I wouldn't say it's as simple as pornography: single. They definitely do contribute though. Think of it this way: unhappiness= desire for connection= coping = crutch= porn, or similar. The act of pmo is more a manifestation of inner turmoil than anything. So your best bet is not just staying away from this poor coping skill, but to embrace healthy connections and things that make you happy.

 

Those are constructs of our commercialized society and P, physical beauty is not the knock out factor we have been led to believe by sneaker companies that assure me: you too can look hot and fit, like this girl, if you buy these $145.00 running shoes. Companies spend billions of dollars to convince you you are not enough so you will buy tons of their shit you don't need. Fact: rich, beautiful people are as unhappy as the rest of the population and commit suicide just as often.
Get off PMO, it will build your self confidence, PMO MAKES YOU FEEL WEAK, like your not enough, get moving, visualize the life you want, you can make it happen. Never gonna meet the woman of your dreams hunched over a computer in your home viewing P.
And if you are as ugly as you say, I doubt that, take heart, Steve Becheme is no heart throb, but he is sweet, funny as hell, rich, married, and a great actor... and while not classically handsome he makes my heart flutter. Take heart!
First step, leave PMO in the past, and get ready for your future.

 

good post mate Springjim2000

p.s. is that a Scottish mountain in your avatar?

 

Also, on the topic of being good looking enough, I am pretty old, old enough to remember porn 25 years ago, and while the female standard was over the top, dudes in P were pretty average, I mean Ron Jeremey is a classic example of a famous male P star who is not classically good looking (sorry Ron if you are on here). But these last 10+ years male P stars have also become an almost unattainable standard, do you think there may be a correlation between you not feeling like enough and continuing to be a client of the multi billion dollar P industry? They want to make sure you stay right where you are with your computer in your lap, the industry does not want you to feel like you are enough, because they know then you might look up and see the world around you. Don't be a slave to the industry, they are manipulating your mind.
That is enough off topic for @Springjim2000 s journal. Come back jim, you can have your journal back...

 

I never bought classical P, so in a sense I'm not attached to that industry. I think the feelings are more correlated to not having been successful enough or something, I don't know. The main theme of the media warping our expectations of ourselves still is a factor of it though, doesn't necessarily have to be the guy in the dirty film so much as the guy on the cereal box or in the department store brochure.

I'm done with it, believe me, but there are other issues in regards to the dating scene that I can't figure out.

So at this point I agree that yeah, quitting will help with some things, but finding a girl without the burden is hard enough and I don't see it happening because it's so difficult. For various reasons.

In other words.

I also feel like people preach nofap as a guaranteed way to getting a girl sometimes, which we all know isn't true and I accept that, but while I still feel like it will help somewhat I feel as though it's just not going to help at all the amount that help is needed compared to the task at hand.

 

Porn is nothing but lies. Once you really come out of your brain fog you realize how destructive and horrific porn is. I have no desire to seek it, and now if I come across it I quickly close it or leave it. But it's not just porn, fapping is also a form of enslavement and you also fry your dopamine receptors and induce massive brain fog. All awful life killing crap.

 

I hear you, there are no guarantees for sure. I have been in a relationship with one man for 25 years, and I can tell you that laying in bed next to someone and feeling alone and invisible is no picnic either. I hope you move closer to what you want, and I think giving up PMO will be a step.

 

I am somewhat in the same situation as you are. Last time I had sex with an actual girl was maybe when I was 18 years old. I am now 26 years old. In that time I've had 2 main girls I can remember I could've had sex with but I always felt scared that what if I was too fat, too short, or what if my dick was too small for her. After starting Nofap did I only realize I was being way too hard on myself. I hated myself because I always saw myself as the shortest, the brownest, the heaviest, and the unattractive one. But one day while I was at a gas station filling up my truck, two white girls came up to me. One asked for my number. I never thought it was possible to be with a white girl because I blamed my race, my weight, my height etc etc. I'm not saying nofap does this but rather nofap changed my attitude. You are who are and there is someone out there for you who will appreciate all that you are. Go easy on yourself man. I guess the hardest part of this process is learning to hate the bad PMO tendencies and learning to love our natural selves without pmi

 

Please, please, please, shout this as loud as and long as you can. Too many people believe or talk in terms of NoFap changing them but it doesn't. When we are not hindered by the images of P so that we compare ourselves to a not normal image of a man and our self esteem hasn't disintegrated to almost nothing because we have stopped living but existing, people will then see US as the people we are. The only issue to remain will be for us to see us as we are and not who we think others see us.

 

Nice and honest, keep going, you are relevant. I love how you look at it, everyone feels "not enough". If there is one thing I crave to here it is
You are enough
Even means more to me then I love you right now. Get off PMO and start living!

 

This is epic experiment and experience.
I would call it thinking outside of the box.
Great you've shared it.
That's really what you saw.

 

What a great first post and thread! Should be required NoFap reading!