Should I just man up and show her?

Hey leemac,

I think you are being hard on yourself and blowing this out of proportion. I am a grower myself and am only about 2-2.5" flaccid. It may look small then but they are usually impressed to see it grow to 3x it's length.

Being comfortable with yourself naked is a great way to be. If she really likes/loves you she won't care. If she does then she's not the "one" for you. Better you find out early on.

Hope this helps leemac,
Geyser

 

Hi Lee. I feel for you because I have always felt embarrassed about looking small when my penis is soft. I remember when I was a teenager that there used to be merciless name calling when we showered after sports etc at school (communal showers at school are mandatory in UK from ages 12-16). Perhaps the most common question that boys ask is: is my penis big enough. It is, in fact, two questions in one: #1 does it look big enough and #2 is it big enough to have sex with? So, at a time of maximum vulnerability, i.e. puberty, we develop penis anxiety.

Apart from the tiny percentage of guys that have a (clinically defined) micro penis, it seems we are all big enough to function sexually with a partner. But the number #1 penis anxiety question often remains: does it look big enough. We have these appalling memories of being called names and ridiculed. Even when we learn that there are growers and showers, it still doesn't help. Why? Because we are petrified to think out limp little 2 inches may be a shower". In other words, that or little soft penis gets hard but doesn't grow in length or width! We wish we could dangle a sign from it which says, 'don't worry, it grows!

I agree that tonight was a big step for you - 'to tell a girl you are afraid to show it when it is soft.' My post is more one of empathy than advice, because I think you have handled it well and, as you said, she understood because she is also anxious about being seen naked. I think you are right to feel the fear and do it anyway - just get naked and let this girl see your small, soft penis. Because of your bold move tonight, you know that she will not be surprised or critical. Maybe, this will be the beginning of the end of your penis anxiety. I do hope so Lee and I wish you luck.

 

You have nothing to worry about leemac. My penis is like 4 inches rock hard if I'm lucky. Heck when I'm flaccid there has been times it's like one inch long. LOL. One of the reasons for my lifelong celibacy actually. Moral of the story, it could always be worse!

 

Hi meloncholyweightlifter. It must be a bit of a blow to be a bit below average length when you get a hard on. But why do you say it is one of the reasons for your life-long celibacy? I don't understand :/

 

I'd just rather not deal with struggling to please her and whatnot. Just as a person with crippled legs wouldn't join a foot race, I'm just not built for sex. It's really just one of the myriad of reasons I made the decision to stay single for the rest of my life.

 

She's gotta love you for you, if she doesn't love you because of your penis size, she probably isn't the one. I wouldn't worry about showing her. Like Geyser said, if she's really interested, it doesn't matter. It's YOU that matters, and you aren't just your body, you are much more.

 

No, c'mon dude! You can't say I'm not built for sex because I am only 4 inches. Why do you say you would struggle to please her. It sounds to me like that is the porn talking. You have seen all these actors with big dicks and thought to yourself: I wish I was like that! Even worse, I cannot pleasure a woman unless I have a huge penis. You won't struggle to please her with your rock hard four inches.

 

Ha. I suppose your right. I think porn has messed up a lot of out views on sex. This thread does bring up a good point in this regard. Like I said though, it's really not even important compared to other reasons I have.

 

Size shouldn't be a problem. I'm small cold aswell, hard I'm OK, but I never had trouble with sex.
Oh btw triming hair there makes it look bigger if u are really desperate.

 

I'm sure these size perception issues must be another area where porn causes real problems for a lot of guys, especially you young guys who encounter loads of hardcore porn before your first experiences with the opposite sex. Hardcore porn was difficult enough to get hold of when I was a young fella that I had had quite a lot of sex before I saw images of other people doing it. It was just girly mags when I was 13, 14, 15. So I got laid enough to know that my penis was fine before I saw porn star size penises. I'm entirely average and unimpressive btw, but in my experience being extremely focussed on the other person, giving her an absolute ton of foreplay til she's going out of her mind, and making sure you've trained yourself to last long enough to get her off will make you very popular indeed. I've been told many times that I've given a woman the best orgasms she's had in a long time and I'm just about 6 inches when I'm rock hard. Lots of those orgasms my cock was not involved at all.

Don't worry about your size, it's the least of it. Stay off the porn so you get rid of your ED. Practice some pelvic muscle exercises to get some control. Keep the intimacy going with your girl and just enjoy the moment, don't worry about later on. Your body will wake up if you stay on the NoFap path and you'll find out how awesome the real thing is and never look back. You're doing all the right things including being straight up with this girl. Don't overthink it, relax and enjoy it.

 

You have a good sized penis and nothing to worry about. I'm about the same flacid and a bit under 6 when hard. Sex is great and my wife likes him the way he is.

We all would like a bigger penis but at the end of the day it really doesn't matter.

 

I have a neighbor who is pretty fucking hot, like a 9 on a scale of 10, so I'm guessing she's had her share of different men. Anyway, she told me the best sex she ever had was with an ex-boyfriend who was only 2" hard. And my neighbor isn't petite, she's about 5'8 or 5'9" slender with the nicest ass and legs.

You have to have the approach that you are going to show this girl who the hell is in charge and not worry about it.

 

Its interesting to hear about insecurities about penis size. I'm a grower too, yeh as small as 1 inch when flaccid. I never even considered that it could be a negative as it really helps a girls self esteem to see you grow so much, something a shower just cant do. The kind of feedback you can give to a girl about your arousal is priceless and she'll feel more desirable and 'wanted' as a result. Nothing is good or bad, only thinking makes it so.

I know girls who feel less womanly because their breasts aren't big enough to give them back problems, yet I can't stand big breasts, i don't find them sexy at all. Girls who get implants are basically making themselves unattractive to me. Don't be so quick to assume what another person will think of something, because you will be wrong 110% of the time!

 

Great post.

 

Having (or at least thinking you have) a small dick isn't the same as being crippled. You're comparing yourself to porn stars and, to use your analogy, it's like not bothering to walk because you can't run as fast as Usain Bolt.

Keep in mind a few things, firstly that women aren't some font of all knowledge and wisdom when it comes to sex and intimacy, they're scared and as confused as we all are and you can be fairly certain that they haven't seen as much porn as you have and aren't really experts on dick sizes (they also don't have built in measuring equipment in their eyes and won't know the exact dimensions of your cock!). Sex is dark and sloppy and shambolic and that's why it's so very exciting. It isn't set up with studio lighting, multiple camera angles and wide-eyed women pulling down shorts like porn would lead you to believe. When that exciting clumsiness turns to synergy with a partner and you know her or him literally inside and out then it morphs into a wholly different beast and it's a real source of happiness and pride.

It'salso good you worry about your penis size because it means you're conscious to the fact that sex is for her benefit too, and if you're will(y)ing to worry about her then you're going to get her off because you care about getting her off. Frankly the clitoris is tiny and you only need a finger tip to do all that is needed and more so.

Lastly my wife loves my flaccid penis, the smaller it gets the cuter she thinks it is, if you think that what women want is to be face to face with an intimidating giant cucumber then you're not giving them credit for the humans they in fact are! Intimidation isn't sexy to people, feeling secure and safe is.

As someone mentioned earlier I think, the worst thing to do is to live in denial, either take the plunge (phrasing...) or admit to yourself that you too scared to do it (or whatever other underlying reason there is). One thing I'm sure of is that the reason is definitely not that you're worried about the girls feelings because women don't want a dick that they have to force into themselves, they want to be cared for and made to feel secure and loved, like we all do.

 

Girl here. Hope this doesn't trigger anyone.

For what it's worth, vaginas are different sizes too, and porn never shows the patience required to prepare some women's bodies for a large penis. Technically, a small penis can allow your pubic bone to press against a clitoris and help bring about her orgasm, depending on your body types. You might also find that having a small penis means a girl might be willing to experiment with putting it in other places. If you were into that kind of thing.

I also think that vaginas can adapt to whatever size they're with, regularly, over time.

I've had the pleasure (pain, exultation and disappointment) of experiencing a variety of penis sizes, from one extreme to the other. Size is kinda important - physical compatibility for a physical activity - but definitely not as important as the ability to tune in to each other.

And lastly, she's probably too busy worrying about what you think of her naked to think anything critical of you!

 

I'll admit it, I'm terrified!

 

Nothing is better than knowing. One of the things I now know that my porn use was covering up for was a fear of rejection, a terrifying fear of ever exposing myself and being thrust back unwanted. After time and time again of letting opportunities slip through my fingers I eventually told myself that enough was enough and I forced myself to go for what I knew I wanted, this wonderful blonde, full of life and oh so perfect for me and you know what, it worked. I was sure she wouldn't reciprocate, convinced that I'd misread the situation and I thank god I threw caution to the wind and went for it anyway, for the first time in my life. Don't waste your time on women (or friends or habits or ...habits) you know aren't right or good for you, your letting bigger and better opportunities pass you by.

There's a quote I love from a Dustin Hoffman, now married to his wife for 34 years and it goes "There’s only one way for a successful relationship to exist—at a fundamental level, the man has to be scared shitless of her or it ain’t gonna work"

By the way five years later I married that same girl this February just gone.