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I can't seem to control them or stop them!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Ocean Man, Mar 25, 2017.

  1. Ocean Man

    Ocean Man Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys!

    I am 17 and I have been dating this girl for a while now. I talked about this in a previous thread that I posted here. So it's been a few weeks, almost a month.
    Things have been going alright, but there is a problem.
    Everytime she hugs me, touches my arm, caresses my face, I get a ferocious hard on boner. And as funny as it may sound, it is actually destroying my relationship with this girl, who is the first girl I have ever dated in my life!

    I am talking with her, then she gets closer and puts her legs over mine, and I get this hard on boner. Like the strongest boner I ever had, it's because of her. I have to put my hand over there every time, which turns out really uncomfortable for her.

    A week ago, she was sitting behind me in spanish class. So everything is normal, but then I suddenly feel her hand caressing my back. And in less than an microsecond I get the hardest boner I have ever had. In my mind I was like:
    "What is wrong with me? She is just touching my back!".

    As for our relationship, I've been trying to avoid touching her. The consequence of that, is that she has stopped touching me. At the star we were hot, but now the relationship is cold.

    Plus another problem is me PMO during the last week.

    The thing that worries me is: the unwanted boners, my PMO, not making her laugh or smile. I like her a lot guys and I am not desperate or anything, just a bit worried.
    How come I am dating a beautiful,but still decide to PMO?

    I don't even recognize myself anymore, but i think i don't recognize myself for a long time ago.

    Sorry for my bad English, it is my second language.
     
    Enemjay likes this.
  2. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Have you had sexual contact with her? Dude you are 17 years old what's happening to you is totally normal. Your hormones are raging. Why did you decide to stop PMO? Why don't you just try Ming without porn it you are having this problem and think about her?
     
    JimmyJohn and bunnyheartbeat like this.
  3. Ocean Man

    Ocean Man Fapstronaut

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    You are right man. I was worrying to much. What I have to do is focus, and keep on my goal.
    Thanks guys!
     
  4. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    Dude, I'm 30 and I get a wicked hard-on when my girlfriend touches me...I'm pretty sure she's always known, and I think its a bit of a turn on for her to know how much she turns me on, nomesayin'?
     
  5. Enemjay

    Enemjay Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man, don't sweat it. Like wrestler said she probably really just feels flattered.

    Forget PMO, see if you can't make it with her. I mean don't rush things but, sex with a girl isn't relapsing. Personally I'd try to keep from orgasming (we'll maybe not if it was my first time...) So that I could maintain the building of my teststerone. Gotta be a little careful though... Women can get hurt if you can't orgasm with them.

    Just, when you're ready to stop having sex, pull out, roll over onto your back beside her and let her rest her head on your shoulder. Look at the ceiling and explain to her how you like to hold in your sperm. You lose energy when you orgasm so you prefer to hold it in most of the time. She'll understand that way and won't take it personally.

    Don't worry, just have a good time with her. Enjoy her feminity and being chill, she'll be able to trust your maculinity.
     
  6. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Hi female partner of a man with DE. I'm not sure I would tell her that you like to hold your sperm in most of the time due to losing energy and that will make her not take it personally. I'm a 39 year old woman and to me before I know about DE I would have found that really weird for an explanation a 17 year old girl? I don't think that's going to fly. I would tell her that you sometimes have a hard time oing during sex and that it has nothing to do with her that she's beautiful and turns you on a ton then offer her some suggestions on how she can help you O. But do confront it if it keeps happening don't just ignore it. If it happens the first two or three times we think its nerves but beyond that we start to wonder what is up and may blame ourselves. Just be honest and open. Some women may have issues with it I'm not going to lie but it's better to know that early.
     
  7. JimmyJohn

    JimmyJohn Fapstronaut

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    Why do you have this idea you want to hold onto your sperm??? Isn't the whole point of PMO to get away from porn and get with a real woman? I mean wtf, we were made to have sex and orgasm.
     
  8. JimmyJohn

    JimmyJohn Fapstronaut

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    Yeah bro just relax! Go with it. It is normal as fuck do not worry! Alot of people on here wish they could get boners from a girl touching them! Most of us start PMO because we cannot get hard with women because porn has fucked us.

    Make an effort with this girl, she is clearly into you! Just have fun with her, you are young! I'd orgasm with her as much as possible! I don't know what some of these guys are talking about, the whole point of NoFap at least for me is so that I won't have problems when it comes down to it with a real women!
     
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  9. Enemjay

    Enemjay Fapstronaut

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    It's just that with my PMO addiction research I've found a lot of guys singing the praises of sperm retention.

    I feel I've come around to your way of thinking concering Pacifico and his making it with his girl. If he's able to make it with her, he should, by all means, orgasm. Like you said, isn't that the point?

    I guess I'm just thinking that later down the line, as they've become a more serious couple, he might want to consider limiting O. He's gonna reap the rewards of sperm retention and that girl is gonna be able to sense the masculine energy he's accumulated as a result.

    Haven't you found women gazing at you in public areas now that you've kept in your sperm where as before theyd be dismissing you thru some uncanny sixth sense? I mean, it couldn't be the M or the P having that positive effect... If anything the effect on you from those aspects of abstinence, at least in the early stages, would be a mass broadcast of twitchy vibes.
     
    JimmyJohn likes this.
  10. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    I think it is biological and designed that way. For example pmo is abnormal in my opinion and the normal way of things is that a single guy retains sperm because he doesn't have sex. Therefore he becomes more and more attractive to women upto the point where he is so attractive that it is impossible not to get a partner. Then he starts have lots of sex with her and becomes less attractive to other women so the relationship is strong. Then over time in some relationships they have less and less sex and he becomes more attractive to other women and affairs begin. Pmo just corrupts the normal system.
     
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  11. Enemjay

    Enemjay Fapstronaut

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    That seems like a very credible theory. There's more and more info coming out about how the modern nuclear family is actually really unnatural. That humans are built to be sorta temporarily monogomous, staying together long enough so that the child is old enough to not just get snapped up by a leopard or something.

    A lot of bronze age and pre bronze age communities had orgiastic rites. And there are Amazonian tribes that to this day have the children being raised "by the tribe", with no knowledge of the paternal heritage.

    I think modern societies are trying to force a round block into a square hole.
     
  12. SiphoMoses08

    SiphoMoses08 Fapstronaut

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    That's the exact theory I've been thinking about... Well said bra! Its an equation
     
    g2stop likes this.
  13. JimmyJohn

    JimmyJohn Fapstronaut

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    I get what you are saying, but I am not really sold on this idea that sperm retention gets girls more interested. I think it is more a confidence that NoFap gives you. Like you want to talk to girls rather than sit at home and fap. You actually look at people rather than walk down the street keeping to yourself. And it is this confidence that girls are attracted too. Thus I think you can orgasm especially if it is with a partner.

    Overall I would say it is most likely a mix of the confidence, the restoring of dopamine levels, a placebo effect and maybe so woodoo sexy charm we put out when on NoFap lol?
     
  14. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    I'm going to second the idea of a placebo confidence boost. Science says after sperm age out they are excreted either in nocturnal emissions or in the urine, they don't get held in.

    Now, this is not to say that a hands-free reset back to wet dreams is a bad thing. In fact, I would argue that it is a really good thing because it offers physical evidence, of the CSI variety, that your body is coming back into biological balance, which permits one to rediscover sexuality in a healthy, pro-social way.
     
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  15. JimmyJohn

    JimmyJohn Fapstronaut

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    That and you get the confidence of being able to control yourself and not give into that little fucking voice! Haha
     
    The Wrestler likes this.
  16. JimmyJohn

    JimmyJohn Fapstronaut

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    Hmm maybe it does make a little bit of sense. Although, you guys should read "sex at dawn" it is an interesting book that talks about how humans, like chimps and other haploids, are polyamorous by nature. Very interesting, things like how the male testosterone slowly drops with one partner are indicators of this, and is a different reason why men cheat: Life becomes so dull, then they cheat and all of a sudden their testosterone spikes and they think they are in love thus run off with that 25 year old hooker.. haha.

    However, we both agree pmo corrupts the natural way.
     
  17. Enemjay

    Enemjay Fapstronaut

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    Well said. I feel I agree with just about all of that. Rather than girls "being drawn in by one's testy scent", it is that abstract vibe that does it. Like, "hmmm, there's something about the way he carries himself...", or "he's the first one in this whole store who hasn't dropped his gaize", or "he stood up to me there".

    I agree that after getting your hyper-sexualized mind back down to earth, you'll actually be able to communicate with women like human beings, and that though this is what's gaining you most of your ground, the sperm retention does help.

    It has to- I mean have you ever ejaculated like 3 times in a single day? Howd you feel? Like a little shrunken eunic right. Holding that stuff in has you ready for action. Maybe there's some invisible signal between your balls and your brain at that point telling you, "we're open for business brother... I've done my part, now let's see you do yours..." rather than an over abundance of a hormone fuel ing your initiative.
     
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  18. JimmyJohn

    JimmyJohn Fapstronaut

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    Yeah again we are in mostly agreement. I am sure it is a bit of both.

    It is funny you say that. I once had a girlfriend who one time we fucked threetimes in a row. It is funny because the first time you know was pretty standard, the second time I didn't bust, but after the third time, I was so fucking spent. Like I at least immediately afterward I didn't want to move from the bed for the rest of the day lol. So I definitely see your point, but I still think that is no reason not to have sex. A balance of orgasms. and getting things done is probably best.
     
  19. Enemjay

    Enemjay Fapstronaut

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    Right, gotta find the balance.

    Maximize the benefits of natural sexual intercourse and the bonding that goes with it while also finding enough of a moderation in the amount that you ejaculate so that you have the fuel to be ambitious in life.
     
    JimmyJohn likes this.
  20. Ocean Man

    Ocean Man Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys! Thanks for all the advice! Though things between the girl and me started going cold. So she told me to be friends. Regardless I've learned a lot from myself and have a better understanding of girls and relationship with girls.

    I am right now feeling happy as I jam to " Last Train Home by the Path Metheny"

    Thanks guys I have faith that all of you can do it! Never fall to temptation , don't give up, no matter what!
    You are the key for your goals, stop looking for a "thing" to fulfill your goal. The missing piece for the puzzle of your life is you.

    At the end of our life the only things we will take are our feelings and emotions, those are the only ones you can recall when is your time. So live your life! As my master once told me " Carpe diem, just carpe diem".

    Love fully , love in the moment, love with your heart! Love with your everything, love strong!

    Ustedes pueden my amigos!
     

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