I want to change my life

Hello everyone,

I am 20 years old and currently studying History. My plan for the future is to study Information and Comunication abroad. I know I have a lot of potential. I know I can be confident and how to bring something new to my closest friends' lifes. I am optimistic and have many interests in life .

I started to masturbate I think when I was 13-15 years old and only recently I started to be more open about it. Normaly I would masturbate 1-2 times a day, or in some cases 4-6 times a day. At the time I was very shy and introvert and didn't really socialize a lot. Things changed when I was 17 and moved to another city to study in university (my birthday is in december). There for the first time I saw a huge burst of confidence that made me proud of who I am. I also met my first girlfriend with whom I had an amazing expirience.

However the reason I moved is because I wanted to leave my father's house as quickly as possible. I had no other plan for the future and saw myself studying something I did not like. I decided to return, but kept in touch with my girlfriend. The first year after I returned I was just wating for the inscription periods. Most of the times I would stay at home playing games and masturbate. My confidence went down, but I blamed it for being at home and not being able to do the things I did when I was outside. The second year I started my course. Me and my girlfriend both missed eachother so much, that we agreed to set up a moment we would meet again next summer. All of my efforts in class were made in her name and I got some really good grades.

Summer came but she did not answer... She never answered again. That was when I lost my mind. I started to send one message per month thinking she was just busy. Then in march (this year) i found out she had a skype account (she is not very fond of tecnology unlike most people today). I sent her a invintation so we could talk, but she refused. Because of this, this became the most painful month in my life. Someone who was so nice to me, who changed my life, who understood me, suddenly cut all ties with me.

I felt miserable and fell into a self-destructing behaviour that I won't share in detail but masturbation played an important role. I went from 1-2 times as average per day to 3-4, with some days when I would do it 8 times per day. I lost all motivation and purpose.

This month however I decided to change. I lost my first love... but that does not mean I will not love again. It does not mean I will stay unmotivated all year long thinking and pleasuring myself for a short period of time. It does not mean I will put myself and my dreams away. So I decided to make a plan to change my life for the best. I am very busy to get a new activity because of class but I can start with small steps. This is why I decided to join Nofap, because I want to change my life. Joining this forum, posting this thread and meeting new people here will also help me do it.

I learnt from my past expiriences so I can be a better person. Intead of blaming my surroundings and others for my problems, I will seek to improve myself and change for the better.

I will apreciate any suggestions and advices posted here.
Thank you very much.
Sir Giles

(English is not my native language, if you see any mistakes point them out!)