Trying again, hi everyone

Lats time I was on this site (August 2016) I wrote a post had many really nice and sincere messages of help and support.

Sadly, I failed you all and lasted only a week. I really hope to do better this time.

Truth be told I'm scared I can't kick this thing. I have tried on my own so many times and have not succeeded. It's ruining my life and I seem unable to kick it which is so different from other things in my life.

Anyway, enough whining. I commit to sign in here once every day this week. 7 days, 7 towers as they say. I will focus on this 1 week period because I think I need to keep my initial goals manageable.

Thanks for letting me post.

HP

 

Thanks guys. Really.

I was super busy today but still checked in. Thoughts are under control today and I'm feeling focussed on rebooting now so cautiously optimistic. I have been done this road too many times though so for now am sticking to my "7 Towers" analogy and this is day 2.

I wish you all the Ned of success as well. Feel free to reach out any time.

Sincere thx. HP.

 

Fantastic man - very helpful for me and just what I needed to hear today. I'm doing ok still but this is when it starts to get challenging so I'm doing as you suggest: keeping busy, lots of plans and people. I feel really dedicated to finally breaking this addiction and will just keep checking in one day at a time.

Thanks for the offer of support - I'll take you up on it one day I'm sure. If there's anything I can ever do to reciprocate please don't hesitate.

HP.

 

Well, checking in on day 4. Doesn't seem like much so far and I'm starting to feel urges but am vowing to make 7 days and will try to keep myself busy and focus on other stuff. After this 7 will set goal for the next 7.

Thanks again to everyone offering support. Very much appreciated.

HP.

 

Day 5 check in. Today was tough, especially in the morning but per advice I received here I kept busy and stayed strong by reading some posts. Found a really good one on the panic button. Feeling pretty good right now. Lots planned for the weekend so I'm optimistic that I'll make my first 7 days.

Thanks again for everyone's help. What a great community.

HP.

 

Ok day 6 morning and to be honest I'm struggling like hell right now. I haven't relapsed but struggling the most so far. Trying to push thoughts out of my head and as I read "let the urges rise up then stay strong and let them fall away" but it's hard.

That's all. Just writing to my virtual support network to get me mind on different things, like how poor a typist I am.

Will check in later. Thanks for being there.

HP

 

Thanks guys. Really appreciate the support.

I did NOT relapse but man had a hard time twice yesterday. I stayed busy and when the urges came on I tried to think of other tun gabby status he busy and doing other things. I told myself this is not what I want and I am proud of making it this far and don't want to throw that away.

Today is day 7. My initial goal was to make it to day 7. I have the rest of the day still but am feeling stronger and less urges today.

Man, this thing is a sonofabitch but I'm determined.

Thanks for checking in. I'll post again tonight.

HP.

 

Ok day 7 nearing it's end and I did it! 7 day reboot complete, now time to start the next 7.

Today was an ok day (aside from getting into a stupid conversation on another thread that I mis-read). I find that this whole addiction issue affects my confidence and makes me very stressed about conflict. It was just a simple misunderstanding on my part but made me want to not come back to this site. Instead, I went back, admitted where I was wrong and came back anyway but it was hard. I'm normally a very strong character but lately feel like I can't take much more. Again very odd for me.

That being said I accomplished my first goal and to be honest I really wasn't sure if I'd be able to. It is not bullshit when I say that your support helped make it possible and checking in daily, even if no one else is reading my posts made it work for me this time where previously I failed. I don't feel alone facing this thing I've not been able to talk to anyone else about.

Sincere thanks to those who have followed along and offered advice and support.

Thank you.

HP

 

Ok day 8 almost done and no urges whatsoever today. Feeling good and going about my business. It's nice not to feel the monkey of shame on my back This last week.

Week 2 - her I come.

HP

 

Well day 11 and things going well! No urges and things seem under control. I am feeling good and "clean" for once in a long time. I have been busy and haven't ousted every day but have not slipped.

This is the longest I have ever gone I think so feel pretty great about that.

Hope things are going well for all of you also.

HP

 

So day 12 done and dusted and all good.

I'm finding the key so far is keeping busy and breaking the situations that used to deteriorate.

I'm far from where I want to be but feeling positive so far.

Thanks for everyone's support. So appreciated.

HP

 

Thanks man - really appreciate it.

HP