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My friends don't take pornography addiction very seriously.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Brickley, Jun 28, 2014.

  1. suyash_4376

    suyash_4376 Fapstronaut

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    I also agree that porn will stay. Imagine a generation of kids growing up, consuming porn like food. The future senators, filmmakers, courts all of them. They will get exposed to porn at a young age but there will not be someone to tell them its harmful effects. Even if they were told, they will be young and not understand ed and relationships. In such a scenario, women objectification will become more pronounced. I would not be shocked if mainstream movies will start having sex scenes with graphic detail 10 or 20 years later. The more porn industry embeds itself in the mainstream, the harder it will be to get rid of it.

    And I forgot the monarch. Mk ultra programming has also become common in music culture. So, the subjects can also be made to perform activities like sex on tv. So, the future now depends on the anti-porn communities now.
     
  2. DarkInspire

    DarkInspire New Fapstronaut

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  3. Sacanas

    Sacanas Fapstronaut

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    I sometimes think I should help my friends with this, but they probably just laugh at me. I'd say +80% of the 14y boys have a porn addiction where I live.
    One of them has a huge difference in strenght of his arms (on left arm wrestling I win easily, on right it's really hard, and I play tennis) and doesn't hide he M a lot to P. He spends the whole day on his PC, and I think I should help him, but I'm most likely to be rudely rejected. Because, as somebody said before, "an addict will always defend his addiction".
    It's really sad what's happening.
     
  4. LowOnFuel

    LowOnFuel Fapstronaut

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    Well, watching porn doesn't make everyone get addicted to it, much like using alcohol doesn't make all of us alcoholics. It's about how much you can take it before being addicted. And that it takes way, way longer for the ill effects of porn addition to become apparent than ill effects of alcohol use, and there's still too little research about the subject. So people just don't know how harmful porn can be.

    Porn's been a taboo for much longer than alcohol. AA was founded in 1935, and at late as in 60's the women in Playboy magazines were still mostly clothed. So, the ill effects of alcoholism have already been known for several decades before there even was real porn available to the general public. Easily (freely, quickly, and discreetly) available porn has been around for relatively short time.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2014
  5. jasonaut

    jasonaut Fapstronaut

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    Excellent points Low. While it must be very disappointing to have the courage to talk to friends about porn and find that their reaction is inadequate, it should not be surprising. For all the reasons you list above, many people will be bemused/amused/uninterested etc. And there will be many others who, as has also been pointed out in this thread already, are big time porn addicts themselves and not ready to hear a word of it. Imagine trying to discuss quitting drinking with an alcoholic; you wouldn't expect much of a useful information exchange to take place. I know my reaction to the idea I had a problem with porn was furious denial, until I was finally ready to admit I was addicted. And again, there are probably lots of people who can use porn non-compulsively, without it taking over their lives. I don't know that for sure, but it's the case for most things that some get addicted to ie pot, alcohol, other drugs, gambling etc so it's probably true of porn too. Those people will find it hard to take the issue seriously while there is so little information about porn addiction in the public sphere.

    What LowOnFuel says about unlimited amounts of free, instantly available hardcore porn being a very new phenomenon is so right. That's why Gary Wilsons talk is called the Great Porn Experiment. It's an experiment with us as the guinea pigs. It's all new, and we are only just starting to find out what problems it causes. It's so new that the very idea of porn addiction as a serious problem, or even a thing, is a long way from being widely accepted in the academic world, never mind in the consciousness of most people. You can't expect people to take seriously something that they have never heard discussed as a serious issue.

    I would love to talk to someone in meat world about this issue, but I don't know who I could talk to who would take it seriously, so for now all the fine people at this great site will have to do.
     
  6. LowOnFuel

    LowOnFuel Fapstronaut

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    Don't forget the "discreetly" part. I've been consuming porn before Internet, and remember the SHAME of buying dirty magazines, or even entering a sex shop. I had to take a look in all possible ways to check that no commoner saw me. I even went back and forth several times if I couldn't enter unnoticed. Once inside, the tension was gone because all the other guys inside were dirty pervs like me.

    I always purchased less than half a dozen items, and was gone for months. And those few items were all I had until that next visit. A limited number of models and thus a limited amount of novelty. Obtaining digital porn before the Internet (the time of the BBSes) was discreet and easy but the quality of images was poor, new material was rare, and transfer speeds were low.

    But, with Internet coming more and more larger and faster with ADSL, those limitations dropped one by one, and now none of those things is an issue anymore. It's like a drug that has become a standard supermarket shelf item. Even worse than that, actually something that is delivered to your home instantly so you don't even have to physically get up to get it.
     
  7. sender

    sender Fapstronaut

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    Not just your home; directly to your phone wherever you happen to be 24x7x365
     
  8. jmr

    jmr Fapstronaut

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    Hi dude! I think that you can talk with friends about PMO adicition, but in a proper way. For instance, talk to them privately (not in a group), and after having some intimity (knowing really that guy, his plans for life, his family...) so you'll too show him an important discovery you have made, it's to say, how harmful is PMO to young and old men. If you have a deep, personal talk with a real friend, I think you can help that friend (and he will become even a better friend). With those that aren't really friends now (just colleagues, you can work so to start with them a really deep, personal friendship. They should respect you and admire you. Just my opinion, based on personal experience.
     
  9. jasonaut

    jasonaut Fapstronaut

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    Heh, exactly. I sure know that shamefaced rigmarole you're talking about... It's a testament to the addictiveness of porn that we were prepared to go thru all that bullshit, but at that time porn had many self-limiting factors, availability and novelty being chief amongst them. And availability and novelty are the very factors that Gary Wilson identifies as the reason for the fiendish addictiveness of high-speed broadband porn.

    " It's like a drug that has become a standard supermarket shelf item. Even worse than that, actually something that is delivered to your home instantly so you don't even have to physically get up to get it."

    Yep. Having the occasional delicious donut as a treat is ok. If you bring a few home, they get stale pretty quick and become a lot less appealing. However, having a large bore pipe that delivers delicious donuts in a never-ending stream into your bedroom is a disaster and that is the bizarre situation we find ourselves in in the modern world.

    It's a really strange thing to do, sitting in a room watching other human beings having sex while masturbating all the time. And yet it becomes more 'normal' with every passing day.
     
  10. ILiveAgain

    ILiveAgain Fapstronaut

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    Conversation today with my best friend, sitting at my computer:

    - Hey, where's your porn stash?
    - There's none, I deleted it.
    - So you're quitting porn? Why, because it's taking too much time?
    - Yeah, and because it's an addiction and I don't want to have an addiction.
    - Forget it, you'll look at porn again.
    - I decided I'd never do it.

    His assertion that I'd fail was somewhat demoralizing, but he's aware I tried to quit before and failed. Also, he enjoys PMO without any apparent ill effect - he has a healthy active sexual relationship and is in very good physical and mental condition - so he probably couldn't understand my motivations.
     
  11. suyash_4376

    suyash_4376 Fapstronaut

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    What I have gathered from talking to my friends is that

    1. You can convince them only if they have some goals or care about family
    2. You can only convince them when they open up to you in private.

    So, in my opinion, if a person falls too deep in this addiction, you cannot do anything for him. He will hit the dead end and then he will uplift himself. But, if you become impressive and awesome, then they will come and ask you what is the secret. And when they hit the dead end they will turn to the advice that you had given them...
     
  12. winstonia

    winstonia Fapstronaut

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    Don't give up and lose heart in this! You are making the honorable decision to stop the reign of pornography in your life and that is never easy, but highly rewarding. Also do not get discouraged by your friends lack of support. True friends support one no another not matter how often they fail and what struggles they have in their life. It will be hard for this friend to support you because he is himself a supporter of what you are giving up so there is an immediate conflict. I would also not be discouraged by what may seem like someone who is in good physical and mental condition. Physical is easy to see but anyone who enjoys pornography is blinded to the negative effects it places their life. There also is a lot that that can be happening internally with your friend that you will not see. Live by example and others will follow suit. You have the power to show the effect that porn has in one's life by living without it.
     
  13. ILiveAgain

    ILiveAgain Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your kind support. I think that PMO may not be detrimental to some people at least, but I know it is to me. I am not too bothered by his lack of support as I never expected it; I do this for myself and for God's glory.
     

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