How could I overcome this EXACT feeling?

Estus, is it fair to say then that you think homosexuality is a bad thing?

 

Edging is considered as masturbating. Relapse will soon follow.

Why are you afraid? If you are gay or bi then it is very natural to have good feelings about gay things. Accept and like yourself.

I would like to call those words homophobia. Is anybody forcing you to do anal sex? And if other people like it, what problem do you have? They have their life, you have your life. Relax.

"Estus, is it fair to say then that you think homosexuality is a bad thing?" Very good question. Thanks.

 

Well, I guess you won't see this, but it's just that you said something like...

I got the rest of your post, what with the brainwashing...

I would have been fine with you being against gays or not. I wouldn't have agreed, but we can agree to disagree.

Sorry you felt I was trying to start a fight with you.

 

Gay sex never can be natural, can only be the result of porn?

My compliment you are caring for people's health. I am not addicted to porn at all, never watch it, and anal sex is not what I am looking for. I just want to respect other people and the sexual orientation they might have. Let's celebrate diversity.

 

OP you reminded me of this video:

 

Hmm I've read a few of these themed threads now and they're all very similar. Guy likes women -> guy watches porn -> guy moves onto transwoman porn -> guy gets turned on thinking about being "the girl" -> guy has thoughts about cute guys, dicks, desires being ejaculated in the face, wearing girl's underwear, etc.

Now you didn't necessarily say that last part and apologies if I've assumed. I just want to say, that the "girl thoughts" you have are not actually what girls think. As a female, I want to make it very clear, that is not what women think. We do not think all day about dicks. We do not want semen in our face. Being female is not what you have been manipulated into thinking it is.

You need to understand, you have been manipulated and brainwashed. Unfortunately, you cannot trust your own thoughts. They have been hijacked by a self-serving industry that doesn't care the tiniest bit about your wellbeing or happiness. You need to free yourself of porn, free yourself of addiction, and move towards wellbeing. Until you are completely free of the manipulative clutches of sexual deviancy, you cannot trust any thought that comes into your head.

Good luck on your journey.

 

OP- When you say identity problems do you mean with sexuality or gender identity? Consider each as a spectrum. I have a feeling Estrus won't like this, but neither is as black or white as he would have you believe. For some people it can be more complex than 'male' or 'female' gender identity (not to be confused with biological sex) or 'straight' vs 'gay'. It's pretty common for people to feel pretty close to that 'straight' pole but still have some homosexual thoughts and feelings, or vice versa. Likewise gender identity is not about whether you have a dick or a vagina, there are both social and biochemical factors that affect it. It must be tough to be confused about it, but try not to let male/female or straight/gay categorisations be the source of stress- what do these categories really mean anyway? The pressure to fit them and clearly define ourselves is a needless social imposition. I'd advise just living your life with an open mind and taking every experience on its own terms- there's no way you can figure out who you really are and enjoy your life if you don't do this.

I agree that removing porn from the equation is a good idea. It's entirely possible (but as far as I'm aware, underresearched and unproven) that porn can affect sexuality and gender identity and slide us along those spectra. I agree with Marcel that you can't just say with clarity "it must be because of the porn". It might be, it might not be. But others are right in saying that unless you quit the porn, you'll have no way of knowing what is and isn't porn induced.

 

I have the same problem only a bit less on the escalation scale. Rule number 1 watching porn is a relapse typing porn into Google is a relapse. If you edge you haven't started nofap. I wasted so much time trying to figure this out so please be honest with yourself all of this will go away but you need to get away from everything related to that even fantasizing.

 

@kriss93 I know we haven't talked in a while but you know better than those feelings. You are letting your brain dictate your thoughts again. If you give up trying to correct those thoughts then they will control you. Don't let the addict inside you win, the more you stay away from porn and don't even try to fantasize the more your brain will return to normal. You need to try and take yourself outside of the sexual spectrum, don't watch or think sex of any kind. Don't even watch straight porn, watch no porn at all. In time, and that might be a long time, your brain will return to normal. You have threads like this all the time, you have to get some discipline and not watch porn at all, or fantasize, for a long time. You can do this, but no one can do it for you.

 

@kriss93, even fantasizing about kissing a girl isn't going to help you, it is just going to stress you out. You are wanting an addiction that has been there for several years with you strengthening those brain pathways every day to just reverse. You can't reverse years of an addiction in a few days, maybe not even in a few months. The standard is 90 days, so i would go 90 and see how you feel. No porn, and NO FANTASIES! That is really your biggest issue, you get hung up on your brain telling you that "this might just be permanent", it isn't. But you have to give it time, I know it is hard but the grass really is greener on the other side of this addiction. The whole kissing a girl fantasy thing is just going to stress you out. Give it a month, a full month, then think about kissing a girl. This whole process will take a while, but you will get better along the way, but it won't go away in a couple weeks.

 

I got caught up in shemae

It literally fucks up your head bro. I'm straight as an arrow but was plagued by homosexual thoughts when I watched alot of transwoman porn. When crossdressors started to look appealing thats when I knew it was time to bail or it was gonna be gay stuff next. Ask yourself "would I be ok....blowing another dude?" that really helped me cut through the bullshit & make a change.

 

As a gay man - I can't fully grasp how difficult these issues are.

1. Transmen are just men to me, I would gain nothing by insisting that they are actually women
2. I would never be afraid of sexual thoughts about women, they have never ever happened, but if they did - so what? I would prefer to save hetero-sex for a time when I had feelings + arousal, so just give yourself permission to do the same. You don't have to have sex with men, but if you did - it's probably healthier to wait until you have the feeling of emotional closeness and sexual arousal - than just a hard on and anxiety
3. All of our bodies possess a 'bi-sexual potential' - that means that it is at least plausible that in some context or another, we could achieve orgasm with a partner of either gender just because of arousal and friction.... and not necessarily because of desire or identity, so I just make peace with that possibility. I mean ... I assume that evolution has tailored vaginas in a way that are pleasurable to men, but I'm in no hurry to find out
4. There are other ways to view sexual fascination that differ from "I am straight" or "I am gay" or "I am perverted" - this video details a few of them (it has somewhat explicit content). Basically a female body is just one sexual cue, and another is "sperm competition" - that is, a regular male body may be incentivised to feel aroused when he sees a situation in which his sperm might compete against the sperm of another male - and these contexts typically involve seeing another man's erect penis (or the erection of a transwoman). You are not turned on by secret gay feelings - you are turned on because it is an evolutionary bonus to be so horny around other aroused males because you have to be hornier than them for your sperm to out-compete their sperm. This goes all the way back through human primate evolution as we would have existed in bands much like chimpanzees.
   • Just think - who is more likely to pass on their genes - a male that is only aroused by female bodies, or a male that is super-aroused in the presence of other erect males and naked females (which is basically all of porn to start with), whose arousal leads him be emboldened and to displace their sperm with his own?
   • I share this because I think your ultimate goal is not to never-be-turned-on-when-an-erection-is-present but to develop healthy ideas about yourself and healthy sexual practices that are caring and wholesome
   • So instead of seeing yourself as addicted to transwoman/trans porn - I think it may help to say, "I am addicted to the sperm-competition cues that I find in transwoman porn" and that being aroused by sperm competition cues is actually okay - but being addicted to porn is not

 

I don't think you meant it to be funny, but this frank observation made me laugh. Right on, dude.

 

You aren't at square one in the improvement part if you are feeling better then everything is going to the right direction, BUT you should be more strict with yourself and after a while you won't even dare to look at porn or edge because you will have to start again since that is a relapse you need to get away as far away from porn as you possibly can. And never give up or binge take care and good luck.

 

Part of the breaking the addiction is in a sense embracing the truth of it. The cycle is driven by the bad feelings that it produces, and one has to find a way of taking away that power from the substance or behavior to which one is addicted. When a trigger is stripped of its power, it ceases to be a trigger.

So in this case, one needs to work from the position that there is no inherent problem in being gay, lesbian, trans, or in any way different from straight. In recognizing the healthy aspects of orientation and identity, one can move on toward exploring the next stage, which is considering whether I identify with the people who are healthy examples of the many ways in which people can be different.

If one feels strongly connected to men, whether that person is male, female, or other, then it only means that one probably has an orientation toward men, and therefore, the potential to have meaningful, sexual relationships with men.

 

Don't think about it too much. It will pass. Be patient and honest with yourself - It means no porn or edging. Best of luck