A Lady's Perspective of her guy going through NoFap

The following I saw on the reddit page, and thought I would share it here. It was very moving for me to read her words, I hope other people might get something out of this as well.

http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1spim5/dear_nofapperlove_a_girl/

Dear Fapstronaut,
(Yes, a specific Fapstronaut. If he finds this, he will know who he is, and he's welcome to say so. I chose not to specify in the hopes that others out there might benefit from reading this. You all have to know that each and every one of you can reach your goal. You can find a partner and develop a healthy relationship with your sexual side. You can do this, because I know. I'm seeing a success story unfold with my own eyes.)

When I met you, I didn't know. How could I know? How could I guess that under everything that drew me to you, a battle you'd been fighting half your life was still raging. I sound dramatic, maybe, but only to shed light on how amazing you are to me, pure and simple. Because all the parts of what make you so beautiful to me are so radiant, so enormous, that they dwarf the demon you carry to something you could crush with your big toe. I say this to remind you that on those days where the closest you get to moving from your bed is reaching for the kleenex, you're putting on your tunnel vision. The demon that is such a tiny part of you is suddenly all you are to yourself, and everything amazing, everything that you really are, gets shoved under the mattress for the day. All of the good parts of you become obsolete, because you've given into your urge. Your internal monologue falls to the negatives. Your counter has gone back to 0. You've failed yourself, so you think. It won't be anything to celebrate until you beat your previous record. But that was a week. A week is so long. You'll never make it.

Stop.

Remember how I said I didn't know? I didn't know, because your addiction isn't your identity. It's not stamped on your forehead. It's not encoded in your DNA. It isn't you. I know you. I know you to the tiny detail, and even the tiniest part of you is bigger than your demon. I know your laugh. I know how you bite your lip when you think. I know the curve of your spine. I know the feeling of your breath on my neck when I'm sleeping beside you. I know your heartbeat. When I see you, I see a role model. I see my best friend. I see someone I will always support and respect, no matter what.

And get this, when you told me about your demon, what I saw in you, what I thought of you, didn't change one goddamn bit.

I wish you could see what I see in you, during those days when you've fallen to your urges. Even when you confide in me that your counter is back to zero, not once does the term "Failure" cross my mind. The fact that it bothers you enough to feel like you've failed is only proof that you're fighting. To you, victory might be about trying to beat your record. To me, every second you spend not fapping is a victory worth celebrating. You are amazing no matter what you do, whether it's a milestone in your totally badass job, or just taking the dog out for a walk when you could have stayed in bed.

I want to remind you that you've made so much progress, even with continuing to have those days. When I met you, you were letting this thing keep clutches on your entire sexual being. I believed that we could break down barriers together, and we did. Not once was I afraid or repulsed by your demon. I wanted to stand up to it and face it with you. I know that part of what bothers you about your addiction is the way your choice drug belittles women and has no depth. This fact is how I know that your demon is not you, it's just along for the ride. You have all the makings of a perfect lover. You are passionate, and attentive. You make me feel safe. You make me feel beautiful, despite my own demon...the demon that causes my brain to wage war with my body. I witnessed your progress between the sheets. I watched a man who started out with crippling performance anxiety transform, session by session, into the best sexual partner I have ever had. I remember being overwhelmed when finally, one day, I looked up into the eyes of a man who previously couldn't connect sex with feelings, and saw love and emotion there. I shared your surprise and joy when you broke down a major wall and achieved orgasm during sex for the very first time. I felt your euphoria as much as you. I was so proud of you. I AM so proud of you.

I will say it again. This demon is not part of you. I know you. I know that you've fought and won hard battles with yourself in the past. You have re-invented yourself more than anyone I have ever met. You make a rising phoenix look like a plucked chicken. Your progress is about so much more than counting how many days you can make it. I have watched you grow exponentially since I met you. You may get tunnel vision on those difficult days, but I only see the big picture. I only see amazing, strong, dashing, sexy, charismatic, intelligent, caring, fantastic you. I see someone I look up to. I see someone I love.

I see someone who is well on his way to steam-rollering his demon passenger with his infinite awesomeness.

Until that day, and on that day, and for as many days after as I'm needed, I hope you'll let me hold your hand. I hope you'll let me share those victories and milestones, both big and small. I hope you'll let me keep reminding you how amazing you truly are.

Dear Fapstronaut...go get 'em.
Love, A girl.

 

Yeah, I don't have someone like that in my life now, but I can keep doing what I'm doing for the person that I do eventually meet.

 

Yeah, I suppose that's a pretty common response. We don't know the whole story of the relationship with these two people, but I know for me I feel hopeful when I read it.