Want to go porn free? Read this.

obi-wan · Apr 21, 2017

Cheers mate. Would you be interested in being an accountability partner for me? Only has to be a conversation on here, I don't think we need skype calling sessions or anything. Just a long meandering chat whenever we want to share ideas or bounce things off each other? Only if you have the time

Resolved Oregonian · Apr 24, 2017

obi-wan said: ↑

Cheers mate. Would you be interested in being an accountability partner for me? Only has to be a conversation on here, I don't think we need skype calling sessions or anything. Just a long meandering chat whenever we want to share ideas or bounce things off each other? Only if you have the time
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Hey, I thought I had responded to this, but do not see a response anywhere. I'd be up for some acct. as long as we can do it in R-tribe. My user there is : resolvedoregonian

Resolved Oregonian · Apr 25, 2017

And a huge thank you to everyone for the encouragements and being willing to share in my story. We are all on this road together, and we can all do this, with encouragement from this community, together.

Fungry4Success · May 3, 2017

Hello mate @Resolved Oregonian. Your awesome post really resonated with my center and I felt I,too was lacking in continuous effort.
Twice over the past three years I completed the 90 day challenge, felt great and then fall back to my old daily routine, thinking 'will power' is enough to push the occasional urges away forever. I was dead wrong.
I recently relapsed and realised I was going at it all wrong, I'm looking for the root cause of this habitual trap and change it for good.
I think what you represented above makes it clear to me that to quit PMO in the long run, it'll take 100% effort in changing behavioral queues by incorporating new, healthier habits to replace the old damaging ones.
Thank you for sharing this uplifting plan. It goes well with the 2-2-4 plan (HLT 90) I'm currently undergoing.
Hats off to your streak!

Mr_Beastley · Jun 26, 2017

Hey, a question on this... in your 8 steps you have at the beginning, you mention number 4 - Consequences. What kind of consequences do you give yourself in case of Relapse? I have had similar thoughts about having some sort of consequence hanging over my head so as not to relapse, but have no idea what they should be. What has helped you?

Deleted Account · Jun 26, 2017

Resolved Oregonian said: ↑

I have 8 different components of my plan:

1. A start date

2.) why statement - The motivation for why you are choosing to go porn free.

3.) Awareness- my vulnerabilities/temptations.

4.) Consequences- self-induced punishment if I relapse.

5.) Milestones- Measured day benchmarks 30/60/90 days.

6.) active commitments- setting and achieving goals.

7.) Self-Care- activities that invest healthily in yourself. Errrryday I practice The Miracle Morning.

http://www.miraclemorning.com/start-here/

8.) Community- regular and meaningful connection with people who share our struggle.
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Thank you for sharing this plan.
Works for me.

FindingAName · Jun 26, 2017

Resolved Oregonian said: ↑

What up soldiers?! Stoked to be here fighting with you! This is a few highlights about my porn free journey, how I created success, how to maintain it, and arriving at day 50 (today) p/m free.

And so, I will start off by saying that I am a 34 y.o. male who has struggled unsuccessfully with porn and unhealthy sexuality for most of my life. I tried books, online sex addict programs, professional counseling, church ministry and programs, group prayer, personal prayer, accountability groups, acct. partners, etc.

I just could not seem to get free, regardless of what I tried. It was a very defeating feeling, and so often times I would start a new cycle of binge/purge/ repeat/ add insanity. I would strive for abstinence, but would inevitably choose to look at porn again.

So what is different this time around? Well, a number of important and necessary measures. I am new to the NoFap community, and just recently underwent my first p/m challenge. My goal was 30 days, then 40, 50, and now 60. One of the notable salient points to mention about my success is that I have remained plugged into the NoFap community. I post regular blogs, and speak daily with people via p/m and connect with accountability for my progress. Community and relying on the help of others is key, because we cannot overcome addiction alone. If you are not willing to engage in frequent and measurable accountability, forget working to go porn free, because you won't.

Another pivotal component I was missing is "effort". I had not been willing to "do what it takes" to live a porn free life. I was lacking in effort. And you cannot go porn free with a 60% commitment. As such, I invest daily time
( reading, writing, meditation, speaking affirmation) into myself, so that I can grow in character, and become the type of person that does not look at porn.

Also, I have a strong recovery plan, and without an intentionally written out and practiced plan, you will not go porn free. Not for long term. I have 8 different components of my plan:

1. A start date

2.) why statement - The motivation for why you are choosing to go porn free.

3.) Awareness- my vulnerabilities/temptations.

4.) Consequences- self-induced punishment if I relapse.

5.) Milestones- Measured day benchmarks 30/60/90 days.

6.) active commitments- setting and achieving goals.

7.) Self-Care- activities that invest healthily in yourself. Errrryday I practice The Miracle Morning.

http://www.miraclemorning.com/start-here/

8.) Community- regular and meaningful connection with people who share our struggle.

Here is a hella dope podcast that talks step by step about how to create your recovery plan!! It's a well thought out, written down, and updated when needed plan.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast...-pornography/id872329779?mt=2&i=1000378597618
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i can do 2,3,4,5,6,8.

QuitingPMOforAhappylife · Jun 27, 2017

nc man

Resolved Oregonian · Jun 27, 2017

Mr_Beastley said: ↑

Hey, a question on this... in your 8 steps you have at the beginning, you mention number 4 - Consequences. What kind of consequences do you give yourself in case of Relapse? I have had similar thoughts about having some sort of consequence hanging over my head so as not to relapse, but have no idea what they should be. What has helped you?
Click to expand...

These are my current consequences:
Consequences: 14 days without coffee, Facebook, I.G., Porn related post on FB.

I don't like to think of them as "hanging over my head." I like to think of them more as an added layer of incentive to stay porn free. They are by no means a primary motivator. Rather, I would say my life mission statement, and current goals are my primary motivators.

Resolved Oregonian · Jun 27, 2017

Fungry4Success said: ↑

Hello mate @Resolved Oregonian. Your awesome post really resonated with my center and I felt I,too was lacking in continuous effort.
Twice over the past three years I completed the 90 day challenge, felt great and then fall back to my old daily routine, thinking 'will power' is enough to push the occasional urges away forever. I was dead wrong.
I recently relapsed and realised I was going at it all wrong, I'm looking for the root cause of this habitual trap and change it for good.
I think what you represented above makes it clear to me that to quit PMO in the long run, it'll take 100% effort in changing behavioral queues by incorporating new, healthier habits to replace the old damaging ones.
Thank you for sharing this uplifting plan. It goes well with the 2-2-4 plan (HLT 90) I'm currently undergoing.
Hats off to your streak!
Click to expand...

@Fungry4Success , exactly. You hit the nail on the proverbial head my friend. Good job, and keep moving forward. A plan is a necessity, and those who have them (too few) go porn free for long term. We all need a reason to get out of bed in the morning and succeed (a life mission statement). You can do this!

Resolved Oregonian · Jun 27, 2017

FindingAName said: ↑

i can do 2,3,4,5,6,8.
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Lol, is there a hold-up with 1 and 7?

FindingAName · Jun 27, 2017

Resolved Oregonian said: ↑

Lol, is there a hold-up with 1 and 7?
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U really think I want to start a date so I can be humiliated? No thanks. No.7 is just morning stuff

Resolved Oregonian · Jun 27, 2017

FindingAName said: ↑

U really think I want to start a date so I can be humiliated? No thanks. No.7 is just morning stuff
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I can see you have already started on your journey (day 3), good job. A start date is for those who have not begun, and to help incentivize their start. And step 7 is not just "morning stuff" it's about daily self-care. You must have a routine of ongoing self-care if you want to go porn free.

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Want to go porn free? Read this.

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