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Failing a lot and feeling despair

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Annislavender, Jul 7, 2014.

  1. Jul 7, 2014 #1
    Annislavender

    Annislavender Fapstronaut

    17
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    I do not struggle with porn. My problem is masturbation. I don't seem to be able to go more than a few weeks without doing it and then its like i will do it a lot at once. Lately I do not even resist the temptation, because I am tired of fighting. Plus I want to get it out of my system so I can quit thinking about sex.

    God is so good to me and gives me so many blessings. Then I masturbate and hate myself. I dont understand why i cannot be a better person. I feel a lot of guilt, and I do not know exactly why I feel so much guilt or where all the guilt is coming from. I just feel lately like I fail deliberately just to show that I am rebelling against this standard. Then I feel depressed becuase I dont feel happy or fulfilled afterwards.


    I feel guilty and like I am a very offensive person. I feel hate towards myself. Please help.
     
    Annislavender, Jul 7, 2014
    Annislavender, Jul 7, 2014
    #1
  2. Jul 7, 2014 #2
    Once&4ALL

    Once&4ALL Fapstronaut

    256
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    I have been in church all my life and have served faithfully in ministry for years. God loves you and will not condemn you for what he gave you (your body, your sex drive). He is disappointed in our behavior when we lust after someone, hurt ourselves physically (abusing our body) or place something with a higher priority than Him. God always loves us, no matter what. He can, and will, walk every step of the way with you. Nothing pleases God more than we get up, dust ourselves off and try again with faith in Him. I don't know you, your age or your history, but I do know the above to be true - both for me and for you. Hang in there. If you want to converse more, PM me.
     
    Once&4ALL, Jul 7, 2014
    Once&4ALL, Jul 7, 2014
    #2
  3. Jul 8, 2014 #3
    215

    215 Fapstronaut

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    No one can help you, except you. If you cant muster the neccesary willpoweryou are bound to fail.
     
    215, Jul 8, 2014
    215, Jul 8, 2014
    #3

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