Inferiority and loneliness

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Fighter84, May 3, 2017.

  1. Fighter84

    Fighter84 Fapstronaut

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    im pretty anxious, don't remember being this way when I was younger. Socially I'm very anxious. When I'm with other people my age, I feel like they have tons of friends and a great life. I have a lot of great things and people in my life, but I really only have one friend, actually two friends. That fact bums me out. Stupid thing, but for example no one has ever thrown me a birthday party or invited me out for my birthday. I'm pretty isolated and I hate it. I feel stuck.

    When I trace it back, it all starts when I first became sexually active and looking at porn.

    I feel like other people have traveled around and are more experienced, had better times in college, post-college, etc. whereas I feel like I don't have any of those things. I feel like all I did was chase girls and beat off to porn.

    So in general I walk around anxious and worried that other people won't like me - so I avoid conflict = am not assertive - and also with worry that they might discover my dark secret: that I'm a loner/weirdo that has no friends.

    I can't help but wonder, what the fuck is wrong with me? People seem to like me. I have some character, I am morally clear on how to live and behave, I work hard, have talents, varied interests, but I am just so socially unsuccessful despite it all.

    Anyone else feeling this way in some part or whole?
     
    Nova Satus likes this.
  2. Tino

    Tino Fapstronaut

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    Man i feel you on this on a spiritual level. Im not exactly sure how to get out of it either. I think it all comes down to loving yourself which i cant seem to do myself.
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  3. Tino

    Tino Fapstronaut

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    Do you have trouble starting conversations with people?
     
  4. I think social anxiety is part of the picture for most people brought up on a diet of hardcore porn from a young age, I have character too, love making people laugh. The group I feel most socially awkward around is women, I've always felt 'inferior' as a man and never been able to take the lead with women. I don't think having few friends is necessarily a problem, what is important is the quality of those friends and how much you trust them, a true friend will stick by you whatever problems you're facing in life. Another question that springs to mind is what came first.. the social anxiety or the porn?
     
  5. Fighter84

    Fighter84 Fapstronaut

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    Tino - sort of. When I'm in fap-mode, yes I have trouble starting conversations. When I've got a few days of sobriety under my belt it gets easier. Overall I'd say yes i do have some trouble, i feel like people don't initially respect me or look at me weird as if they know that "something's off" with me - likely my own head trash - but that's what I experience for whatever reason.

    The porn came first. I regret to share that I started looking at hardcore porn when I was about 12 or 13. I was actually a pretty cocky kid growing up until that. i was very confident and easily made friends and connected with others.

    Thanks for posting guys. Hope your journeys are going well.
     
  6. Porn will make you feel inferior and weak because it destroys the mind which in turn destroys the physical body or at least destroys the ability for the body to experience normal pleasure. I know exactly how you feel, I'm not afraid to talk to women but I get anxious if I think she's hitting on me because I know I'm F-ed up from my porn addiction. When you fear a sexual encounter because of your porn addiction you know it's time to stop.
     

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