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Starting to find this really difficult now !!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by SteveJames, May 4, 2017.

  1. SteveJames

    SteveJames Fapstronaut

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    This is now day 12 of no PM. The first few days I felt excited and positive, now all I can think of is sex. It's driving me mad, I'm feeling depressed and anxious and all I can think of is watching porn, masturbating or visiting a massage parlor in the hope that they will jerk me off. I did actually visit a masseuse locally yesterday that I found on gumtree because there were reviews that said she gave hand jobs after the massage, she didn't and I was initially disappointed. But this morning I just feel relieved that all though I sort of gave in to temptation, nothing actually happened, so I am still clean so to speak and I don't have to go back to square one.
    It's like I'm committed to not watching porn or masturbating, but if i can pay somebody else to do it for me, then that's fine, which it obviously isn't.
    It's like when I got the urge yesterday all my planning went out of the window and I was on auto pilot straight to the massage place. It feels like I just have so much sexual energy built up that I don't really know how to control. I'm also starting to feel like I'm going to fail soon and go back to square one and be even more depressed.
    I just want to get to the point where I have a healthy approach to sex / women, and it doesn't control my thinking and behavior in this way.
    Any help / advice / support would be appreciated, starting to feel quite lonely on this journey now.
     
    LivinginRecovery likes this.
  2. Dismas

    Dismas Fapstronaut

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    What you're experiencing is called the "7 day itch". It can hit anywhere between 3-15 days usually, and it's VERY important to get past this one. It's your first big hurdle in any good streak. If you're playing a game, this is the first boss; so kick its ass.

    Basically your brain has bottomed out on dopamine, and it's craving and screaming for the one thing it knows will fill it up quick. You're babysitting a toddler who absolutely HATES being told no, and that toddler is yourself. My advice; take a cold shower and get yourself away from temptation. That can be different for everyone; try going for a walk, try going out with some friends, anything you can. Are you religious? pray. Are you not religious? Well I'd say pray anyway. The Hail Mary was a life saver for me.

    Keep it up man. This is part of the show, and you're doing great.
     
  3. It only gets harder buddy.
     
    LivinginRecovery likes this.
  4. Jonasvw

    Jonasvw Fapstronaut

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    Don't give in, no matter how hard it will get. It's a fucking mind battle, win this fight man. In about 15-20 days it will be more easy to handle the urges. :emoji_muscle::emoji_muscle: One day at a time and u will get there!
     
  5. It's become really difficult and that's how you know you're on the path forward. Persevere and summon every last bit of will power you have to gain supremacy over this desire. YOU are the rightful owner of your thoughts and actions. Don't give in to the addiction - it is pissed that you're regaining control and it's trying to get it's job back. Kick this addiction in the balls!!
     
    Dismas and Matrix Intel like this.
  6. johnsmith17

    johnsmith17 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man. I needed to read that. I'm on day 6 of my second attempt. My first lasted 11 days.

    I'm urge surfing but i feel like i prefer to distract myself instead. However i will continue to urge surf in the promise that urges will weaken and appear less often.

    All the best to everyone.
     
    Skully65 and Dismas like this.
  7. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    This can be demoralizing also.. because someone going through the agony may wonder why they bother. There has to be some notion of hope, where breaking the addiction is a distinct possibility, for the addict to feel the journey is worthwhile... that there is a destination, and that the journey isn't the destination.
     
  8. It's so hard to put into word, but you are absolutely right. The truth is, there is a whole lot to look forward to. I am now a much stronger person than ever, but the main thing I'm trying to get across is that you really face your demons face to face when going this far into the journey. Put it this way: Most people get absouletely horrifying nightmares when far into nofap. Really, this journey is something that MUST be done, so why not get it done now and break PM forever.
     
  9. johnsmith17

    johnsmith17 Fapstronaut

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    I think the reward of fapping is so over emphasized by those urges.

    And when you finally give in to the urges, you feel good just for a short while and you'd think that once wasn't enough so you may do it a second time. Then you will feel bad for a long time because your back at square one. Your counter is back to number 1, which is discouraging because you'd think its going to take ages to get back to where you were before at day 11.

    So don't do it man , its not worth it.

    But if you do fap. Do it once and start the race immediately. Don't fap a second time or wait till mid night or the next morning. Just start immediately. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. If your counter lost 11 days and is back at 1 its ok. Its not bad enough that you shouldn't start again. You have years ahead so keep trying.
     
    Buzz Lightyear likes this.
  10. It's always best to look at it like a ratio. If a person goes, say 150 days and relapses one time, they will surely not be back to square one, not even close, trust me. The real devil is in doing it again, and again, and again. You get the point. I know because a couple years ago I had a really long streak, relapsed once, felt like nothing changed, and continued relapsing. Again, it's all about the ratio. However, also treat it like a recovering alcholic. That one relapse will and can send you back into the addiction.
     
    johnsmith17 and LivinginRecovery like this.
  11. IggyIshness

    IggyIshness Fapstronaut

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    Whenever you feel like shit, Dont give up. Give it minimum a week. At least a few days. I promise it will get better with time.
     
  12. ethan.s

    ethan.s Fapstronaut

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    This one's particularly inspiring to read. I'm only on Day 5 and all of a sudden upon waking up this morning it's become much harder to not think of the urges, but it's all a matter of willpower. How strong we are is how strong we let ourselves be. Plenty of people have made it through, so can we.
     
    Dismas and johnsmith17 like this.
  13. SteveJames

    SteveJames Fapstronaut

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    Thanks so much for your advice yesterday, I can honestly say it's what got me through. Yesterday was terrible, today is much better. Everytime I had an urge, which was pretty much constantly, I just visualized a brain running on an empty dopamine tank and it really helped. I wnet for a walk and went to the gym and said a little prayer and today id a new day. God Bless.
     
    johnsmith17 and Dismas like this.
  14. Dismas

    Dismas Fapstronaut

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    I'm so glad to hear that man!

    I'm proud of you for sticking it out, and I'm really glad I could help. God bless you too, and keep up the fight!
     

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