First Day Here. Please Help!

Have discovered these forums in the past briefly, but have never truly accepted my own struggle with PMO.

I have been struggling with this since I was a teenager and I am now 29 years old. I've had short relationships with women frequently, and have struggled performing sexually more and more as time goes on. It typically always takes oral stimulation to get me going and stay going.

I've realized the more and more I date women & use dating sites such as Tinder, I just use it all to enhance my PMO sessions. I've dated hundreds of women in the last 4-5 years and haven't gotten close with any of them. I was once a hopeless romantic in my early 20s, and there isn't much of that left. I desire to have a healthy relationship with someone & it all starts here. I was never able to convince myself fully that I had a problem, until my last failure last night. I couldn't even look the woman in the eye afterwards. I pulled my blanket over my head and went to sleep. She couldn't even begin to understand what was going on, and still doesn't know.

I haven't touched myself all day and have restrained. The thought of not doing this for a prolonged length of time makes me anxious and almost seems impossible. I haven't M'd in 4 days, but I have what I think you refer to as "Edged" multiple times each day. Until today. My goal is to do this the right way.

My questions for you:

1) What exactly does "edging" mean and what are the guidelines?
2) What about "rebooting"? I see 30 day threads, 90 day threads, etc. It's a permanent lifestyle change, correct?
3) During rebooting, can we have sex? If yes, what is healthy? After a certain amount of days?
4) In the back of my mind, I still have thoughts that this isn't for me. That this is all just a hoax and PMO is completely normal and healthy. Does anyone else struggle with this?

Any other input for someone who is just starting the journey is greatly appreciated. I hope as I progress with this, I am able to help as many of you through your personal struggles/triumphs as well!

 

Thanks for the response! Interested in your strategy..

Yes, it feels nearly impossible right now.

 

Thanks! Best of luck to you.

Appreciate any other insight.

 

One day in currently and have stayed away from all PMO. Was quite anxious about it last night and had a couple strong urges but nothing too bad. Will certainly have to keep busy with every other aspect of my life; and I feel I will be able to concentrate and focus on important aspects of my life more if I continue down this road.

I've given half ass attempts of doing this in the past and I'm committed to see how long I can go. The biggest challenge is refraining from every social media outlet that tempts me. I will try and update on a daily basis!

Thanks for any support.

 

Thanks for the response. I think the reason I would edge would be to make sure I could still get it up when the time comes with any women I date, so I would do it on a regular basis. Sometimes I would finish, other times I would not. I certainly am starting to realize how unhealthy it is. Yesterday was the first time I truly realized and accepted what I was doing was actually hindering, not helping me.

Yes, quitting porn permanently is the goal!

Best of luck to you and your family.

 

Also, can someone please "like" one of my posts so I can edit a signature?

Thanks!

 

2 days in! Felt a lot of different emotions yesterday. All I've known my entire adult life is PMO almost every single day. It's going to continue to be very challenging but I'm excited for the overall changes this will bring & continuing to improve myself.

 

Let's do it! Keep me posted on how you are doing and what challenges you are having! 3 days strong here!!! No strong urges, just some confusion and feelings of isolation.

 

4 days in! First attempt and I will accomplish my goal of 30 days no PMO!!!

Been a stressful week with work & had some quick urges to look at P but nothing too bad yet. Did some exercise and kept my mind busy! Good luck to everyone this week.

 

Stressful work week. Urged to FAP stronger than any other day this week. Able to refrain without too much struggle. Just used to it being a way to relieve stress temporarily, but in the long run it increases stress.

I never realized the magnitude of my addiction and struggle with this. I thought it was acceptable to PMO on a daily basis. After becoming more educated, obviously I'm starting to see my erroneous ways. I feel I have a strong will power, and I've always been able to give up things that are impacting me in a very negative way. Now that I'm aware, I'm confident I can fight through these challenges and hit my goals. Ultimately, I will live a more healthy lifestyle and not rely on P to have any impact on my life. Tinder and dating apps were the most challenging, I couldn't help but FAP after all of the contact with women. It was a vicious cycle.

5 days strong and on my way to my first goal of 30 days!

Thanks for the support.

 

This is the truth, thanks!

 

6 days in, no strong urges!

20% of the way there to my first goal.

 

1 Week without PMO for the first time in 13 years!!

 

8 Days. Have certain times of the day I almost start going through the motions of PMO but stop myself. Not much libido right now.