Have achieved 103 days NoFap, but I feel no real difference. (quite a read)

If you're in the early stages (first month) of nofap DO NOT read this.

I think that you have already rebooted or wasn't addicted in the first place. Maybe you just had a bad habit and you just gave it up. I tend to think that not everyone who watches porn and masturbates are addicted.
Also the benefits of nofap may have come to you slowly, and you didn't notice them. I'm sure if you'd MO, you'd feel the difference, and you could tell what changes happened in you during your +100 days abstinence. Which is an amazing feat, congratulations.
Make no mistake, you can read everywhere that people feel great after a few days without fapping, and they feel confident, and manly, and all that, but in my honest opinion that is just placebo effect. "If I don't fap I will be confident, I didn't fap, so I'm confident, yaay!" Anyway since it's a placebo effect it fades away rather quickly, and they relapse a few days after. That's not even a nofap challenge. That's a "lessfap" challenge. Which is cool too, but a completely different stuff.
I'm 50 something days clean, I don't even count that closely anymore, and I feel no difference either. I live my life, do my stuff, and it's just like when I was watching PMO. I just don't. The real difference is that I didn't think that it's possible to live without MO-ing. I thought that it's natural and useful, and I should do it to live a healthy life. That wasn't true. Also, if I could resist for more than 50 days, then I'm much stronger then I originally thought so that gives me a huge confidece boost in other areas of my life. But it's based on my will to rsist, so even if I'd choose to relapse (since it's always a choice) I wouldn't lose it, because I know that I could resist for as long as I wanted to.

Last but not least, we want to give up the useage of high speed internt porn in the first place, in order to channel our sexual energies in a more subtle, healthy way. We don't want to ban nudity or erotica from our lives, that would be just the other side of the same coin. We want to overcome the urge to fap whenever we see something "triggering". So in my opinion you are in the right track, and I will experience same things as you.
Your 100 day clean streak proves that your approach is managable. NOT for everyone though. So if you read this, take care.

 

I know that I am probably out of order here but I want to comment on something that EarthDragon said, rather than the thread itself. I am simply unable to shed any light on your question killmyhornydevil - sorry mate.

Anyway, EarthDragon, I was blown away by the following words - "...choose to relapse (since it's always a choice)..." My first reaction was, I felt like I had been stunned by a taser gun or something! I had just never thought of it that way. I know that generally, that is true but - 'to relapse is' "always a choice"! No, that was a massive shock to me.

There are occasions when I get so aroused (even without porn), that it is kinda ridiculous! My cock gets extra hard, I precum a lot and on those occasions I have just had to accept that I can't help it - I need to masturbate so it can all die down. The idea that I still have a choice when my cock is aching for attention, is a new thought. I am going to try this mindset - to relapse is always a choice! Thank you

 

I'm glad that I could awake something in you. You might want to check todays post on my journal, I've written about this in more detail. Seems like this is an important topic. Good luck!

 

I'm no expert or long time Fapstronaut but in my humble opinion a large group of the people on NoFap aren't really addicted to porn or masturbation they just think it's harmful and they want to stop it.

For example I used to smoke a pack every weekend while being at parties etc. I didn't light up a cigarette during the weekdays, didn't even want it. One day I decided that even smoking in the weekends is pointless and harmful to my body (also a bit silly isn't it) so I just simply stopped and haven't smoked in 5-6 years without any difficulty. Was I an addict? Certainly not. Did it make a huge change in my life? Not at all.

I think abstinence from porn or fapping may work out similarly for some people.

Effects are really differ from person to person everybody is different. Not watching porn or not fapping will certainly not solve any of our life problems, it may have a positive effect on them or none at all.

 

Hi Killdevil, thanks for posting.

I have achieved the one significant improvement in my life that I sought to improve. I can now O with my wife. While addicted, I could not.

There is also the knowledge the addiction is no longer in control of me.

The thing about EarthDragon about us believing masturbation being healthy, he is right, is a myth. We don't have to do it, it does not improve us. If you talked to a pornographer he would advise you of the health benefits of PMO. Why? To sell his product.

Good luck on your journey.

 

I echo this. Thank you. I too suffer with HOCD @killmyhornydevil or I may actually have gay feelings and I am in denial of it. Who knows. I'll know in 90 Days and it's something which terrifies me actually even though I know I also have heterosexual feelings but if it's who I am then I will just have to deal with it.

Yes, relapse is always a choice and like you @JohnnyTheFox I used to think when my penis was leaking with pre-cum and I was hard that I 'had' to masturbate to relieve what I thought was just going to happen anyway when no, I could have taken a cold shower and then gone to walk it off. Nothing has to cause us to relapse. We are the captains of our own ship and if we choose to steer it into the nearest iceberg it can be no one else's fault that we are now torn asunder. This is an excellent post and I thank you for it.

 

hi killmyhornydevil

what about all the filthy images and fantasises? surely u notice not having your mind plagued with selfish and deborcherous thoughts whenever u see pretty women or have idle hands? feeding the beast is a full time job and keeps ur vibe down. i could barely talk to attractive women without getting excited. now i am discovering them as friends. a totally new experience. surely that is a noticeable change? of course im only speaking for myself here.

ur mind might be tricking u into thinking fulfillment is something else than what you have?

 

I just want to express my opinion, that it's a bit tricky to say you chose to relapse. It has some incredible power when things go right, and when it goes wrong the blame is all on you. Isn't addiction the whole problem of making the wrong choice over and over? We talk endlessly about it on here it seems. Then why do addicts keep making that bad choice? Because they're addicted? Are we talking in a circle here?

I think having an addiction is having this blurry line and feeling of choice and will. You lose the power to make a choice. And I think in a way you make other choices to regain that power choice in whatever area you are addicted to.

Overall I just wanted to add that too, because I think it can be foolish to think you know how your addiction works, including what I just said above. We're armed to the teeth with knowledge on here and it's still a struggle. Do we relapse when dopamine urges become too much? Are we then just the result of chemical urges?

I don't mean to sound like an asshole, and in fact I am advocating both ways of seeing it because like I said, it might be both.

God, I hope that makes sense.

 

My best streak I ever had was 102 days, so congratulations you bested me .
NoFap is no magic pill that will solve every problem you have in your life. Most people report being more confident and I can add to that. After starting NoFap I definetely became a more confident person than I was before. Of course NoFap won't make you feel amazing every day of your life. That's how you shouldn't approach NoFap.
But there are clear benefits to NoFap

More confidence. For me it comes from the fact that I'm not dependent on watching other people have sex. The whole act of watching porn is actually quite disgusting.
More time. The time you might have spent fapping for hours, you can use for more important things
You don't support the criminal porn industry.
You have more motivation in general since watching porn overstimulates your dopamine receptors. I always notice how everything gets more boring after I have watched porn. It's an extreme dopamine high.

 

Hey bro, I know this reply may seems abit late but I just wanted to tell you that doing nofap alone wont yield you a great result, there are also many other things that are also just as important and count. Here is the video that may have the answer you are seeking for, good luck and cheers!