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I do not get it longer than 5 - 6 days

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Ozo, May 6, 2017.

  1. Ozo

    Ozo Fapstronaut

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    Hello, After that time my desire is just too big.

    And I'm in sexual phantasys.
    Only Phantasys no Porn
    Afer thee fifth day every day is high risky. For relapsing.
    What can I do?
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2017
  2. Evert

    Evert Fapstronaut

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    Hello Darknet

    I invite you to please let go of the panic now and focus on reading my answer and suggestions carefully, which I give you from my own experience of the past two years.


    You mean you frequently fantasize about sex? The fantasy is in this case not directly induced by porn, because you don't watch porn, as you said.

    My answer is this: "Give up aimless fantasizing or aimless thinking" (thinking without a certain active goal)


    Pretty simple, right? Apparently it is not.

    It doesn't matter how many day's you didn't masturbate or have an orgasm, If you don't give up fantasizing, you will keep experience the suffering of wanting to fap or wanting to release the tension/excitement through a climax, over and over again. Nofap is a journey within the mind/body, not a journey through the calendar or day-counting.

    In my experience, there is alway's a chain of action and reaction in my mind/body that pushed me to the actual masturbating to orgasm on fantasy in the past. this chain of reactions was the motor of the wheel or habit of masturbating for release of tension or wanting.

    This chain of reactions is:
    1. there is a thought or picture coming up (from some source you do or do not control)
    2. I fantasize = use my imagination consciously to make the picture/thought seem more 'real'
    3. 'damn, this imagination is not real enough!' --> Here is where the fapping usually comes to mind
    4. Oh no I can't fap, I'm in Nofap!
    4. I WANT the imagination to become real now, which is impossible!
    There is tension/excitement in the body and I'm unhappy
    5. This tension/excitement can be (in short term) released by an orgasm and masturbating can let the fantasy seem more real, but never real enough....... or you can bear the tension without fapping until it's gone..

    Does this chain apply to you?

    If this chain reaction applies to you; which link or links (from 1 - 5) in this chain reaction is the link you want to focus on, to stop this wheel?

    The most important question is of course: How to stop aimless fantasizing or aimless thinking?
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2017
    SecondLife丶Zy and Marcel0404 like this.
  3. Ozo

    Ozo Fapstronaut

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    Mostly i start to fantasize after i visit a special Chat for meeting People. will no ask the name here.

    When i visit i am start fantasize sexual.

    I Think is link 1
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2017
  4. Ozo

    Ozo Fapstronaut

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    Ok i have blocked the acess, so is better
     
  5. jipsikid

    jipsikid Fapstronaut

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    I used to headbutt shit/ punch myself in the head Whenever I had strong urges, (I know, im psyco) It worked everytime but i stopped doing it because it made me dizy. If you dont want to get permanent brain damage, you can also try slaping yourself in the face (thats what I do now and it works too); or if you are a normal person you can try to keep yourself bus y, work out, go for a walk, study, listen to music, cold showers (they are super painful), watch a movie, etcétera
     
  6. YngwieWanksteen

    YngwieWanksteen Fapstronaut

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    Just the other day, I had some strong urges and I didn't do anything.

    I literally just sat on the couch for probably one hour, because I felt if I got up on the computer I would look at something. If I picked up my phone, I would look at something. If I lied on my bed, I would start rubbing myself on it.

    I just sat there, kinda grimacing and although I didn't manage to do anything constructive(I am working to doing that more and more), I "wasted" an hour but I felt fine enough after to use my electronics.
     
  7. Ozo

    Ozo Fapstronaut

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    What you mean with Electronic?.

    Once of my Problem are ich work on Computer the hole day. Because of ease i lie in the bet with my Laptop.

    So it is easyier to become urges.

    For me it is a Problem to sit the hole day on PC, but i must for Work.
     
  8. YngwieWanksteen

    YngwieWanksteen Fapstronaut

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    I mean once the urge passed for me, I was safe to go back on my computer and phone. I didn't have that strong feeling to look at porn. But, of course, it will come back from time to time.

    Lying in bed with your laptop is almost without a doubt a bad idea. Don't trust yourself.

    If this were an experiment with mice, I can tell you almost without a doubt again that the mice that go to bed with laptops have higher rates of relapse.
     
  9. SecondLife丶Zy

    SecondLife丶Zy Fapstronaut

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    I can agree more with you.
    I think we should stop it immediately as soon as the thinking or fantasizing appear in our brain through some activity such as go out walking and push-up. You can extinguish the concupiscence at it's beginning, don't follow it or it will grow up until you eventually become its slave.
    Anyway, Cheer up. We can handle it together.
     
    Ozo likes this.
  10. Evert

    Evert Fapstronaut

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    Hy SecondLife

    Thank you for your answer. From my experience it is indeed helpful to find some sort of distraction as soon as you realize that you are starting to use imagination. However, I think this is only a short term solution. If you try to stop the imagination by moving to something else (even when it is productive), you are 'running from the monster you are trying to beat'. It will come back to you stronger at some later point in time. I learned that by experiencing it over and over again.

    You must face the 'monster' (in this case, the imagination) in the eye, instead of running from it. When thoughts or images pop up in my mind, I don't move, and start focussing on the breath and the body. I can't really stop the mind from thinking or imagining, but I can shift my attention to the body and breath. When I do that, controlled thought and imagination stops. There is just the body the breath then (possibly in a tense state if you made yourself horny already). If you keep observing the body, you will notice that this tension will pass away automatically. After that of course you can do whatever you like to do, but the point is: you didn't run from it.

    In this way, you handle the problem more at a root level. If you search for distraction immediately, you handle the problem at a more superficial level.




    Hy Ozo

    I understand! I'm working in the same situation often. The first things you can do is use programs as 'self-control' and K9 web protection to lock acces to porn or other stuff. The second is: Use the PC as a tool and alway's use it mindful only for concrete purposes. Before you do something on the PC, alway's ask yourself: why am I doing this? or, what is the purpose or objective? For example: if you impulsively click on youtube or Facebook or a dirty site (wathever) and you realize it, stop and ask: 'why?'
    BUT
    Maybe you are going to find my suggestion below a little weird, but hold on..
    When you work on the computer and the urges become too big, just visit the site you want to visit. But when you do, try this:
    --> use your eyes to look at the pictures or video as objectively as possible. This means: without giving any attention to imagination at all. It is then very important that you stay focussed to not use imagination until the view and even the memory of what you saw dissolves. This way, you learn how to unlink imagination and reality, because the greatest root of your suffering is the thinking and the imagination, not the pictures or video's..
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2017
    SecondLife丶Zy likes this.
  11. SecondLife丶Zy

    SecondLife丶Zy Fapstronaut

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    Hi Evert.:emoji_boy:
    Firstly, I'm really thank you for reading my answer above. And I agree with your opinion that face the monster and beat it. Here is my thought.
    I think our ways to get out of the fap is same in some way. We both think of defeat the monster through shifting our body to not masturbate. Meditation is a great way, you can feel your inner emotion and let the tension fades. And How about doing something else like sport conscientiously? I think it's also a good way to let us not think about the Monster. I think it not run away from it but a way to ignore it, let something else to fill up with our brain.

    Thank you again for your answer~ There are thousands ways to NoFap and lets do this together.
     

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