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Looking at women too much?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by pjelou, May 29, 2017.

  1. pjelou

    pjelou Fapstronaut

    I look at other women a lot. I look at their body parts and imagine them, I don’t want to miss a moment where for example wind blows up a skirt and I can see panties and fantasize more… I look at them like objects of my fantasies, not like persons. I think those looks are feeding my hunger for porn I link them in my brain to porn fantasies and every look makes my hunger stronger and stronger. I know this is true but I am not able to do anything about it. I feel ashamed of it and even a bit guilty because I have a really beautiful girlfriend and I love her very much and I want her to be the one woman in my life but I keep looking and fantasizing about others. Can I do something about it? Do you guys have same problems? Should I just not look? Should I feel guilty about it?
     
    Eter and Username1021 like this.
  2. Username1021

    Username1021 Fapstronaut

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    Hey @pjelou, I can relate to looking at women and fantasizing too much - it's been an ever persistent problem. I haven't found a way that really works for me yet unfortunately. Trying to just focus on other aspects in life instead myself when possible.
     
    pjelou likes this.
  3. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    TV , late night movies is main problem here. I think u should stop using TV for a month and minimize usage of internet as much as possible at night . Or before bed. Start watching infotainment TV channels like discovery , national geography , histroy tv . I think , TV addiction made me objectify woman , because different TV commercial shows lots of woman in few seconds . TV is tons of tons of triggers in few seconds . Once you get addicted watching lots of woman on TV / movies , u also want to see woman every second in real life too. It happens to me always .
    I found one two ways but i shared it in nofap . But i donot know i havenot got any positive replies. I think, u need to find out what made u to look at lots of woman. It ur nofap journey or its ur any kind of habit . For me both is responsible . But i think, habit is something i need to break.
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2017
    Username1021 and Bel like this.
  4. pjelou

    pjelou Fapstronaut

    I do not watch TV so that wouldn't be my problem. I don't know what's the reason. I don't want to do it but I realized I notice the girls all the time and when they are far away. My mind goes like: nice she could be beautiful, and when she approaches I just look and fantasize. I even do it sometimes when I am with my girlfriend. I try not to but sometimes it's so hard. If a girl is dressed slutty how could I just do not notice.
     
    Username1021 likes this.
  5. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    I think it's important first off to recognize that the real problem is Lust not PMO. It is lust that drives you to PMO. You have to address the lust.
    To run porn movies in your head (or just fantasize sexually about women you see) it is very much the same as actually watching a porn movie. Don't do it! If you catch yourself, stop. Do this continually if need be. As you become increasingly sober, the compulsion to do this will decrease.

    One trick i learned: look up. When you're in a situation where you want to look at the women, look up. You'll find there are always interesting things to see when you look up.

    The "white book" from sexaholics anonymous is very helpful in situating the problem and how to deal with it. SA has been fundamental to my current 90+days of sobriety. The first step for me was the recognition that lust is the problem, not PMO. I used to run porn movies and fantasize all day about women. Then i'd go home and wonder why it was so hard to stay off porn! I was putting kindle on the fire all day and then i would wonder why the blaze started up so quickly.
    Lust is the sin. Address that and the PMO will follow.
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2017
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  6. pjelou

    pjelou Fapstronaut

    Thanks I never thought of it that way. I think I have to search for the root of lust in my life. Where is it coming from, where does it start. Pray for wisdom and ask for a pure heart. I remember I used to pray a short prayer every time bad thought have conquered me. I prayed: "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10. I will do it every time I look with lust and ask God for help where I'm helpless.
     
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  7. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    God Bless!
     
    Username1021 likes this.
  8. Djb575

    Djb575 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for that. Because Im feeling pretty weak . Really depressed today, relationship is in trouble and I'm just friggen lonely.
     
    Username1021 likes this.
  9. Eyepinephish

    Eyepinephish New Fapstronaut

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    Watch women too much and u may lose semen easily,through temptation for relapse or if not through a nightfall...the more u desire and watch women u LL be losing semen in the night fall...and then u LL learn the truth that retention was more worthy than women...and when u learn the truth u won't do the mistake...complete absitenence is the true key to genius
     

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