Porn/ media brain distortion and attractiveness

I watched http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU the other day. Good TED video.

I was really stuck by the way he explained the "no-hands" porn effect. [NSFW]How male porn stars will often have their hands behind their back so they don't block the camera shot of penetration. The female is usually in an uncomfortable position there as well. I liked the video, and then yesterday I thought about how I have totally done that during sex. Hands behind my back, and the only part touching my woman was my penis.[/NSFW] That is not erotic!

No wonder I was having trouble with ED, and also I felt like this girlfriend of mine never cared for our sex as much as some of my other girlfriends. I am not sure if this in entirely accurate, but I am thinking that I used to use my hands a lot more. More small kisses, more running my hands all over her body, you know - real foreplay! Lately (last couple of years) has been more of: [NSFW]oral for her, oral for me, penetration in two or three positions, pull out and clean up.[/NSFW] Porn hijacked my brain! It fucked up my real foreplay! Having sex like porn stars sucks! It doesn't feel nearly as good and real good and sensual sex and lots of touching. Somehow this all happened subconsciously.

When I realized that I was subconsciously taking on the actions and habits of porn, it has helped me to see how I am being manipulated in other ways. I have always known that advertisements are manipulative, and that I am not immune to their manipulation. You have to be on constant guard, and that still does not prevent the attack.

So one other thing that I noticed is how turned on I get from workout clothes that girls wear. You may think, of course! Tight outfits are definitely attractive and that's normal. But the thing I notice is that certain colors do it more for me. You know how bright crazy colors are the "style" now? Well one color in particular turns me on more. It is that bright peach color somewhere between orange and pink. The thing is, I will see a female wearing that color, and get turned on. When I see them closer, I realize I am not attracted to them at all. But what are all the fitness stores advertising right now? Bright crazy colors on scantily clad women (porn shots with clothes on). Not only is that type of media tricking women to think that "style" is attractive, but it is tricking us men to thinking it is also! Why should my taste for attraction change with the season if I was not being manipulated.

So I am curious, what ways have you all seen your minds hijacked by porn or other media???

 

Jasoon how's it going. I feel you on the oral. I think a major part of my ED especially with oral is that death grip from PMO. Honestly oral feels good, but I just can't get off. Well next time it comes up, I hope to not have the same problem haha.

 

Yea I agree on the oral! My gf was always frustrated that she couldn't get me off that way. I thought it was her problem for not squeezing hard enough or the right way. Until I realized that I was squeezing too hard, and getting myself off the wrong way - alone to porn.