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left my job... and dealing with rejection

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by lp123, Jun 6, 2017.

  1. Jun 6, 2017 #1
    lp123

    lp123 Fapstronaut

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    Day 21... I've finally gotten back in rhythm as far as abstaining goes. My confidence has gone up. I have great days and off days too in this run.

    This weekend, I decided to leave one of my jobs to put more time into my business and my passions. I felt so many different emotions walking to the back office to file my notice. I was anxious, sad, excited... I feel like I'm entering a new chapter in life and it feels weird to me. I made many friends at this job, and it was a place that held me down when I had nothing. I'm happy that I had the courage to make a move. I know I'm growing as a result of this.

    A couple weeks ago, girls started coming out of the woodwark as I began to catch momentum on NoFap. I started talking to one girl a lot thru text etc... We went on a date Saturday, and it went well. We had in depth conversations for several hours, then it ended off on a make out session. She said she had a great night, and I did too. I noticed lately shes been kinda distant, and we were supposed to hang out today. She flaked last minute. She said she wanted to hook up with me - and I've been on a bit of a dry spell... So I can't lie... I was really looking forward to it. I think I'm starting to like her too. Maybe I shouldn't be so outcome dependent.

    I feel a bit off right now, many different emotions. Nonetheless I'm on my way to 22 days pmo free, and that's something to be grateful about. Just needed to write this somewhere.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2017
    lp123, Jun 6, 2017
    lp123, Jun 6, 2017
    #1
    jest and donjonquixote like this.
  2. Jun 6, 2017 #2
    donjonquixote

    donjonquixote Fapstronaut

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    I don't know, maybe tease her telling her that she definitely needs to make up for it offering you ____ at ____ on _____? (in a not-serious way)

    If you like this girl pursue her without getting needy, that should work!
     
    donjonquixote, Jun 6, 2017
    donjonquixote, Jun 6, 2017
    #2
    lp123 likes this.
  3. Jun 6, 2017 #3
    phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    be strong man :)
     
    phwrancesco, Jun 6, 2017
    phwrancesco, Jun 6, 2017
    #3
    lp123 likes this.
  4. Jun 6, 2017 #4
    lp123

    lp123 Fapstronaut

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    thanks for that!
     
    lp123, Jun 6, 2017
    lp123, Jun 6, 2017
    #4
  5. Jun 6, 2017 #5
    Smartboyj

    Smartboyj Fapstronaut

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    Hey man .. Im glad to hear you are doing soo well !!!



    And having the courage to leave the job to focus on your passion shows you are making progress, it takes courage. When we are immersed in this addiction it makes us BETA males , always second guessing ourselves , thinking we will fuck up or make the wrong decision. But you made a decision and followed through and I think that shows progress.


    In terms of the girl , again I think it shows you are doing well. To go out on a date , be confident and talk to her for that long show your confidence is up.


    But when reading it I was wondering if you are looking for her to make you feel better??? I know I used relationships like this for a long time , I wanted them to make me feel better when I was down because I never really had an self-esteem. It resulted in me being in some really co-depentent relationships …


    Its just a thought, I know something I have had to learn is how to sit with negative emotions on my own…. I always either ran away from them , used a relationship to make myself feel better or P…. but I believe this is something all addicts need to learn because no matter how great we make our life , shitty things will happen. And we need to learn how to work through them on our own which is the complete opposite to being an addict


    If you Google “dealing with negative emotions” there is lots on line to read.


    I hope this helps and well done on getting to DAY 21 … keep going
     
    Smartboyj, Jun 6, 2017
    Smartboyj, Jun 6, 2017
    #5
    jest and lp123 like this.
  6. Jun 7, 2017 #6
    lp123

    lp123 Fapstronaut

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    I mean, I would consider myself fairly independent. It's been a while since I've had sex with a girl and I feel like I really wanna change that. Turns out she was studying. Maybe I was overthinking. If anything it shows I'm still afraid of rejection and it's something I need to work on. We'll see what happens with this situation. Trying to stay present and grounded.
     
    lp123, Jun 7, 2017
    lp123, Jun 7, 2017
    #6
    jest likes this.
  7. Jun 8, 2017 #7
    Smartboyj

    Smartboyj Fapstronaut

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    Great to hear that man!!! Have you tried meditation at all???

    I found it very difficult at the start and hard to keep a daily routine but it has really helped me stay grounded and in the moment.

    Helps me not get carried away with my negative thoughts which in the past would have always caused me to relapse. And also helps when urges do come..

    Any way hope you are doing well…
     
    Smartboyj, Jun 8, 2017
    Smartboyj, Jun 8, 2017
    #7
  8. Jun 8, 2017 #8
    YorkGO

    YorkGO Fapstronaut

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    nice to see you are doing great bro, I also need to learn from you,be brave and face the challenge! keep fighting!
     
    YorkGO, Jun 8, 2017
    YorkGO, Jun 8, 2017
    #8

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