Day 1- Road to marriage

Well, I just joined this site too and from today from this minute, I'm on my journey to stop masturbating forever! I have been dealing with this problem since a very very young age around 6 or 7 and now 10 years later I still haven't been able to get rid of it. We are here to support each other so I really hope you will succeed in getting rid of this habit!

 

Welcome to the site. This site will definitely help.

 

Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?

 

I think you would do well to quit M (you don't mention P, so maybe this is not a particular issue with you? If so, that's great).

My wife and I were both virgins before our wedding night. TBH, we found sex difficult for quite a while, until we became more confident. I wouldn't worry too much about being rubbish in bed. It's something that's brand new to you, and it's ridiculous to expect that you'll immediately be extremely "accomplished" at it straight away. It gets better with practice.

 

Check out In Case You Didn't Know for strategies and tips which may help you along your journey.

 

Trigger warning: frank content

I think it's great that you're concerned that the experience is likely to be pleasurable for your wife. I don't think you should be overly worried that you come to orgasm very quickly while masturbating. Real sex feels very different to masturbation; the usual problem with men who masturbate a lot is that it takes them a long time to O during real sex - sometimes to the extent of not being able to O from vaginal sex at all. (You may want to read on this site about "death grip" and "delayed ejaculation".) While the stereotype of a great sex life is that there is "pounding" for hours (something we also pick up from pornography), in reality, this can get boring and frustrating (and even painful) quickly.

Also - even if you happen to O quickly, this doesn't necessarily have to translate to "ruining it for her". There are lots of ways to have a good time during sex, and if you concentrate on "performance", you will just get yourself worked up, and cause yourself a miserable time on occasions where you don't meet the grade.

Basically, my advice is not to worry about this aspect of your marriage now. Try to quit MO before marriage by all means - it definitely helps to have as few bad habits as possible before getting hitched! Once you're married, you'll have a much better knowledge of how you and your wife "tick", and what you each find pleasurable, and you'll be able to work on that.