The Paradigm Shift

Hopefully you guys like this post. These are some realizations I have come to when it comes to making change i.e. NoFap.

Reprogramming the brain after years of constructing, birthing, and fortifying connections/impulses/synapses in the brain based on PMO and training the body-mind to relate in a specific way (action-reward, stimulation-reward, stress-response) begs the question: how can I have lasting change if I don't change the foundation of who I am first? Yes, it is very helpful to cut off porn and keeping at it - staying guarded in mind and body from seemingly small temptations/impulses/suggestions - can help rid of the environment that creates the conditions of wanting to fap/watch porn/imagine/fantasize/body sensations. This is very helpful, but how do you get rid of the program? The very part of us that is trained to perceive, conceptualize, and receive stimuli that agrees with our reward/pleasure/self-gratification system. You can call this the mind, the program, the ego, the box, the structure, the building, the core, the foundation, etc. Pretty much, it is our worldview. I uploaded a sketch of how I see it to help with the visual.

So, what I want to talk about is the paradigm of our mind. The first picture, I will explain. Essentially, its a box (the box that we create ourselves for "self-preservation"), the outside is made of walls, boundaries, limits (we place on ourselves), defenses (the very thing we use to justify the core and protect the core), or the structure (the blueprint, the extension of the core, the complex, or the army of ideas, thoughts and experiences that delineate how the fortress should behave). This mechanism of reactions/actions based on the core, either allows the core to receive only what justifies or is convenient to the core. Now the core is the ego, program, foundation; the very thing that autonomous, self-creating, on the agenda for survival for the consciousness of its permanent existence. Thats the first picture.

Second picture. Now when there is an outside influence that the defenses agree with, the idea, experience, or thought, it is accepted, received, welcomed. Why? Because it agrees with the core, and the core can continue to build more walls to stay stronger, or in other words, habitually driven to be. This can be beneficial or detrimental depending on what program you subscribe to or feed. You can be on the road to success or on a no-way street to failure.

3rd picture. When an outside challenge comes in, and it does not agree with the core, the defenses shoot it down; it is denied. Why? Because if it does not agree with the core, defenses, foundation - change isn't required. The way the ego or core sees the world, is directly mirroring its ideas, thoughts, foundations. Anything that challenges its foundation could destroy the whole program altogether. See the paradigm as neutral, but it can also be life-giving or destructive without the ego or core knowing if it will survive.

It is one thing to remove the environment that leads to PMO. But the program can adapt and simulate that environment without having to be in the environment. The ego has become so strong and self-aware that it has many defenses. The only way to challenge the core without destroying it, is to change its very definition. To destroy the ego or core by creating a new one, a new foundation for it to rest on. Creating new habits, new ways of seeing and doing, and rewarding it according to those new rules that will guarantee its well-being, contentment, and power.

When it comes to masturbation/porn, the mind creates either through imagination or the "one-thing-leads-to-another" excuse, it is easy to see how our minds/bodies will set itself up to feed its desire or habitual programming. The more you do it, the more the connections are strengthened by habit. The less you do it, and stop doing it altogether and create new habits (hobbies, exercise, reading, anything healthy to end PMO), the more free, productive, and malleable the mind becomes. The more new habits, more new connections and less bad connections. The only thing stopping the ego is realizing that it is already free. Free to redefine itself and become anything. This power, this potential, and this revelation is what the ego seems to be afraid of. Why? Because with great power comes great responsibility. Being a new person feels so new all the time, and that can be scary, but it does not have to. In fact, its liberating. The bird can fly free because the door to the cage is open, it is never closed. The key to the mind's prison is in the custody of the very mind that created it.

Mind you, reprogramming is an everyday thing. Just how it took days upon days, years upon years, to create these bad habits. You can begin now doing what you do best. Whether its a talent, hobby, a project, and just doing what you love and loving what you are doing, focus on that. Whatever is life giving, focus on that. And do it everyday. Enjoy it. Know the power of your body, you have superpowers. Use them wisely, and flourish and rule the day and your body. Begin to have pride on this power, and you start to fall. Stay humble and exercise the power wisely, and life starts to award you for your determination. It's really that simple.

"All complex things are made up of simple basic units"
"We see the problem, but we know the solution"
"Does the mind command the body or does the body command the mind? Who is the master and who is the slave?"

You decide. Stay encouraged, whether you are restarting or still going. It is your road, your lane. No one is in competition with you, except yourself. Let me know if this has at all helped. I would definitely enjoy some feedback as to these ideas. The only way to break the foundation of the core is to create a new one, little by little, and soon you'll see that a strong foundation will only build up, as high as a tower, where you can see everything in a whole new way!

Knowing what I know now. From trial and error, I have realized that this is a waging war and battle and the only way to battle is to fight, prepare, strengthen your defenses, and remember that you are free, and you are free to enjoy that freedom and not become a slave to your skin.

Stay Bossed Up,
Don't be afraid to be a Boss

-Josh

 

Addiction is a symptom of a deeper issue rooted within ourselves. If we don't get to the root of the problem, then we'll either go back to our addiction or transfer our addiction to another substance.

 

That's just it. Stopping the addiction FORCES us to FACE the root of the problem, whether 180 or 1000 days into nofap.