My big personality change

Thought i'd drop a little message on here since you guys have really helped me get to where i am now.


A little history... started pmo very young, started with mags, graduated to internet videos and you get the rest. Did this for 10+ years... i'm 25 now. Had multiple girlfriends when i was between ages 17 and 21, then i suddenly lost all confidence.


With these girlfriends i always had problems like DE at first, but with time they seemed to ease, and i just assumed it was a confidence issue. I didnt realise at the time but i actually think these symptoms disapeared because i wasnt pmo'ing as much when i had a partner. My brain subconciously was rewiring itself. After my last girlfriend i remained single for a LONG time relying only on the internet for pleasure. In this time thats when my confidence hit record low. One night stands were impossible due to lack or erections, and every single time i blamed it on alcohol even if i'd only had a couple. I gave up and sunk deeper into my little hole. I was too scared to initiate a relationship with anyone as i felt i was broken and couldnt satisy anyone.


After a last failed attempt with a really hot girl i decided to take action and found nofap. The rest is history.


I started about 200 days ago and have had multiple relapses since that point... but have severely cut down consumption by well over 90%. The streak im on now has lasted nearly 40 days, my longest so far, and its been tough! But ive finally had enough!


When i first started doing streaks, i genuinely did feel superpowers! Girls looking at me, increased confidence etc. Nowerdays though i think these powers have just started to become normal so i dont notice AS much as i did within my first 30 days. Still there though!


On this latest streak, 40 days, i've had two wet dreams... one last night. Prior to nofap ive never had a wet dream before, ever. I've also got insane sensitivity... a few months ago i literally brought myself to orgasm with literally just a soft stroke with one finger. Before i had to use death grip and FAST. I can now get ROCK HARD erections whenever i want them, but i havent tested with a girl yet... still dont think im ready. The problem with having PIED for a period of time is that with each failed attempt it breaks you a little more... and a problem that started as PIED initially, develops into a performance anxiety, because you enter the room with a fear of failing again - even if you've technically rebooted. So time is definately needed.


My personality has changed completely though. 6 months ago i'd stay in every weekend, and beat myself up for being lonely, and get upset looking at facebook at all my friends going out and having a good time whilst i was stuck indoors watching xfactor haha. This has all changed over a period of time... i'm now going out a bit TOO often, and frequently pulling girls at the clubs i go to without much effort at all. They seem to find me and stick with me all night. I just get a bit TOO fearful when it comes to taking them home. I live with my parents so its difficult for me. Plus theres still healing to do. I believe i'll know when the time is right (i hope so anyway)


I've just booked a trip to amsterdam with a mate, and before nofap this just wouldn't have happened at all. I see this as a huge personality change and i've shocked myself really. I'd like to also make a point that the ONLY thing i've changed in my life is PMO. I did work out a little bit at the start but i got bored haha. I dont read books, i dont take cold showers, i dont do anything different really at all. My routine and lifestyle is just as it was, but minus pmo. So these changes in my personality have to be directly linked.


My advice to anyone doing this is that you will most likely relapse a few times, but the important thing is to keep going. My body remembers the hopelessness and shame it feels after a relapse and after that happens a few times your soul gets to a point where it just cant handle another let-down. In this moment, its easier to continue with nofap than it is to relapse again. Just to avoid the pain.


Its a roller coaster, and its not what you expect. But it does change you for the better in my honest opinion. Maybe not to the extent that some people go on about... but if youre lonely, suffer from social anxiety, feel like theres a void in your life, this will most definately help and your life will gradually get better in a variety of different ways. Ways that you probably wouldnt expect.


Wish me luck, and good luck to you.


A

 

Keep going bro! The word 'superpowers' i think gives people false hope! A more appropriate word would be 'bonuses.'
But although they are sometimes subtle, they do exist and you will get them. The longer you go the more proud of yourself you will become, and this will make you feel good about yourself, and give you a big sense of achievement. Everything else then stems from that. All the best man x

 

Thanks man, i'm glad this struck a chord with you. It does take time but you will get there! Don't be afraid to push the boundarys.
All it took for me was to get talking to a few old friends again, and boom. Suddenly my social life was reborn.
If you havent already, check out the film 'Yes Man.' I know its a really cheesy story but i think theres alot of truth behind the moral of it. Especially in my case.
Just say yes
All the best my man x

 

You too bro... glad youre on the mend! This addiction is a crazy thing and i genuinely believe it does strip you of your confidence and your sense of worth. It does get better though, just give it some time and dedication things really can change.

Keep it up x