100 days free free from PM

Today ladies and gents, I complete my 100 days normal mode. It's been a strange journey for sure. I had no idea I needed this until I stumbled on the community. After spending one evening reading about all of this, it seemed like a good way to get rid of porn. I want to say that I didn't considered myself having any problems connected to watching porn. Still I always felt dirty and ashamed of myself after faping or watching it. I guess I thought it to be ok since "everyone" else did it. Also my sexual preference leans towards bdsm, which I am a bit embarrassed about. I told myself I would just watch until I found someone to talk to about it. In time of writing, reflecting over those thoughts, I now see they are just lame excuses for not dealing with my burdens and standing up for my beliefs. Now I look at myself in the mirror in another way, and I see a person with character and dignity that he lacked several months ago.

Allot of people talk about the upsides that comes with leaving faping behind, such as improved self confidence and getting courage to talk to girls and so on. My personal opinion is that the expectations helps the mind a great deal with this. You believe your confidence is high enough to attempt something in a situation because the mind says it should have improved. Like when you get a simple sugar pill and it helps you recover from illness. I guess I'm trying to say, don't expect miracles and get disappointed. Learn to appreciate the small things. Like answer a public question in class or giving the cute girl in the hallway a smile. Who cares if your answer is wrong or if she doesn't smile back? You took the opportunity and besides, improvement comes from mistakes. Yesterday I finally gathered the courage to talk to a beautiful girl in my muy-thai class. She smiled and talked back. The conversation lasted like 2-3 min, but to me this was a huge victory and totally made my day. Again learn to appreciate the small things, like a smile and a 2 min conversation.

Lastly if anyone is interested, I would like to mention some things that helped me along the way.

Exercise. To activate the body is important for the body and mind in so many ways. Different things works for different people. If you don't feel comfortable in the gym (like me) try push-ups in the garage, go for a run, martial arts, yoga, whatever works for you.

Keep occupied. Sooner or later, you will end up alone with nothing to do. Food's been eaten, shores done, works over and the temptation to touch yourself will be creeping up on you. That's when I started to do other things, like playing instruments, draw, meditate, juggle, solving Rubic's cube and other stuff.

A strong will. No matter how many tips and tricks you pick up on the way, in the end it's all about you. Prove that you are in charge of your body and don't let temptation get the better of you. Smash through your mental roadblocks like a battering ram and claim control of your mind. To quote my favorite poem:

"...I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul." ​

 

That means allot to hear, thank you! Great keep it going, looking forward to read about your story later

 

Many thanks man! I'm really glad you think so, if can inspire and help at least one person on their journey, I feel I have done something meaningful. Best of luck to you

 

Love it! Your imagination sets the boundaries when it comes to exercise

 

Many thanks!

 

Thanks, I'm really glad you think so! It sure feels good that others get inspired when you do something good. Same to you!

 

Thanks man! No the thoughts are there and will probably be forever. The difference is that I have accepted myself and my preferences and I feel more comfortable than before. The idea about explaining my preferences to a future partner doesn't frighten me half as much as it used to. By just getting porn put of my picture lots of stuff have become so much easier and clearer.

 

It's a challenge for sure. But the feeling you get by crushing it, to play by your rules, not temptation's, is priceless!