Hard mode 60+ days getting unbearable

The loneliness and isolation is starting to drive me crazy I’m not going to lie. I’m not worried about fapping off and going back to my old life of PMO that ship has sailed I’m done with that crap. Has anyone gone 60 days of hard mode before they decided to return to dating and meeting people? Everyone keeps talking about going at least 90 days first for their reboot. I feel like my engine is ready I want to get back out there and start meeting people. Not just for sex but to work on my social skills and meeting people through approaches.

I know I said I would go for 90 days but its getting really hard just sitting here inactive counting down the days Sure I can find things to keep me busy but do you guys think another 30 days is really going to make that much of a difference?

This thread has an interesting take on it https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...and-desensitization-and-how-you-can-to.74377/

 

Good things come to those who wait. I saw this reference somewhere recently I can’t remember where it was from. It’s debatable how much people believe in seeing signs or whatever but I will find the will power to do another month. I’m not going to regress that was never on the table I’m just a little annoyed at the opportunities that I will have to let pass me by until I reach the goal I originally set.

Yes, true its beneficial to socialise I always sub consciously hold back though especially with woman. Dating during a reboot is far too complex I think I always worry that I might pick up a phone number and then I will be compelled to go on a date which could potentially lead to sex. But I would never let it go that far and the girl would sense it and then I might have to explain this whole nofap thing and its just a lot of trouble to go through.

Which is why its easier to wait that’s my opinion anyway.

 

Hmmm interesting… This is the first time I have ever heard about a tandem website I just googled it. Going to have to take a look at this now it has my attention You reminded me of three Spanish girls I met through online dating. Unfortunately, I did not meet any of them but that’s another story… Anyway one of them wanted to help me learn Spanish because that’s something I have always wanted to do.

I have really bad anxiety approaching girls feels worse than going to war without a weapon Funny story I did a dating bootcamp with some dating coaches and I COULD approach and talk to girls they even seemed interested but it takes too long and too much effort to talk to ONE girl which is why I rarely do it. I’m working on solutions for the approach anxiety though…

Since doing this bootcamp I have noticed a lot of girls at work and I swear some of them are checking me out sometimes or is my mind just playing tricks? Anyway like I said the anxiety makes it hard for me to even talk to them right now.

Cool book I will add it to my reading list I have a stack of self help books still to read covering everything from dating to personal development.

 

Yes, I’m going to return to the dating scene. My social skills are deteriorating on this hard mode because I planned to wait 90 days before really working on them which is a bit extreme. Every day opportunities to interact with people come and go but I’m completely inactive, paralysed. I swear there is at least two girls at work checking me out lately…

Anyway I’m continuing my reboot but instead of waiting to work on my social and dating life I will just start now before anymore of this year passes me by. If anything should happen with a girl then I will switch to No Porn, masturbation. Probably going to take a while to get myself into a situation that leads to sex should hit 90 days by then but with much better social skills hopefully.

 

Not that lucky really. I have really bad anxiety so even if they were checking me out I am yet to figure out a way to overcome my fears so that I could actually DO something. You have no idea how many opportunities over the years I have wasted because of this. They usually expect the guy to come over but if the guy has anxiety he wont do anything. And they don’t always come over or say anything so then you have a stalemate and nothing happens.

This has been my life for years. Irrespective of how I look I have never ever had a girlfriend. A lot of guys are surprised when they hear that…

Told you not so lucky after all

 

I don't know what you look like but i know for a fact that its possible for anyone to get into a relationship. There was this documentary about the fattest guy in the world or maybe it was another guy who was massively overweight i forget. But anyway even HE had a girlfriend.

And here is some more motivation for you and every guy on here who thinks they cant get a girlfriend. This guy is 3ft 7inch tall he's a dwarf and he got married to a normal girl! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...rf-elected-Britain-s-shortest-politician.html

What i noticed is that since i stopped fapping on this hard mode i notice girls more because its the only option i have left. Cant ever go back to the porn so i have to meet people to satisfy my desires. I have been getting turned on a lot lately just looking at all of these girls around and getting checked out too. I was walking past this girl at work in the corridor my anxiety causes me to hide in my shell and ignore people so i paid no attention to her as i walked past. I swear i heard her give of this big *sigh* like she was hoping some guy or i would have noticed her or said something but instead i ignored her and walked past...

See thats what i was not doing. Talking to people.

 

Hmm I’m not so sure about that everyone has a different story no doubt. I think my mum and aunt were the source of my anxiety. Helicopter parenting. And then I guess I did not think I was ever going to be good enough for any girl. I was not convinced that anyone was attracted to me. That denial turned into self doubt which lowered my confidence. I also believed that I was having no realistic opportunities to get into relationships with girls. Anxiety followed and then I found out about the porn. I think that’s how it happened anyway…

And even now many years later, I’m still trying to undo the damage…

 

I have experienced more rejection in these years than most people will do in their entire lifetime. My time doing online dating and approaches has made me a bit cold I don’t get fazed as easily when I get rejected. Because once you have experienced it a lot of times it just feels like nothing I brush it off.

I went to this store today there was a really hot girl behind the cashier. I think she might have been checking me out earlier when I was picking up stuff from the shelves. Our eyes kind of spontaneously matched each other. Anyway I went over to pay for my stuff and just went into robot transaction mode. I don’t know if she was really attracted to me or not I’m really bad with this stuff but we both kind of had a poker face no way to know for sure. And I’m so rusty with approaches because since I started doing my reboot I just stopped doing them completely.

Oh well maybe next time I will have better luck…

 

Good question this is what I think. If you already have really good social skills, you can make friends pretty easily and you have no trouble talking and meeting girls then I guess its not that essential because you already have those core skills. However, if you are socially awkward don’t have many friends and struggle with girls then yes it is essential. Why you ask? The simple answer is because the majority of guys on here are fapping or starting fapping because they don’t have the girls in their life that they have been chasing for years.

So you see, you can do this reboot and break the PMO cycle but if you don’t have the social skills to meet people especially girls then you increase the chances that one day you will relapse again. If you are not getting satisfaction from fapping and you are not comfortable enough when socialising with girls which in turn makes you do nothing, then what do you think is going to happen?

Are you forever going to live a life of no fapping and tell yourself that you don’t need to be good at talking to girls and that one day you will get lucky? Lets me realistic we make our own luck so work on your social skills, you will have the friends and girls you want in your life and you wont relapse.

Yes, its more pressure and anxiety nobody ever said life was going to be easy. Fight through the pain of anxiety and be the man you want to be.