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Downward spiral

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Sunyata78, Jul 21, 2014.

  1. Sunyata78

    Sunyata78 Fapstronaut

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    Last days have been really tough but I kept my hands clean. Still the urges keep coming back and it's getting pretty tough. After this time I'm also starting to think it's ok to masturbate now, just for once and than pick it up again. I'm wise enough to know how this works, so I know this is just my addiction trying to lure me back. One step, edging, next masturbation, after that, porn might even come up again, although I don't think I would do that again. It's a tough battle in my head and it seems that the flesh is gaining territory. The benefits from NoFap are very visible and felt but also taken for granted at times like this.

    My head is really set just to masturbate once and than go further with NoFap again. Just this once... One moment of weakness and all my days are gone. I really want to hold on. Thx to who ever reads this, feels good to be able to get it out. Some support would be appreciated.
     
  2. Goodmood

    Goodmood Fapstronaut

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    "One moment of weakness and all my days are gone. I really want to hold on"

    You should be very careful with that way of thinking, it will destroy you the day you relapse. And...I'm not being negative or anything and I know that you don't want to hear this...but chances are that you will.

    Even if you do relapse...just know that your progress will still be there. Just..don't binge...and don't be too hard on yourself.

    You should read my post called "Making relapses easier...", its a little further down.

    Good luck...I hope you keep your streak and stay strong!
     
  3. bonnio

    bonnio Fapstronaut

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    If you masturbate, the urge will be gone instantly. If you don't, the urge will be gone eventually. If you masturbate you will feel drained, depressed, tired, defeated. If you abstain, you will feel invigorated, proud,more determined with your streak intact. If you look at it like this, the choice is much easier.
     
  4. Sunyata78

    Sunyata78 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reactions.

    @Goodmood: You are right that this kind of thinking will probably set me up to relapse. But reading the sentence I thought to myself I would not let that happen to me. Overcoming this will be yet another victory. So that was a good one, thx alot!

    @Bonnio: True that by masturbating I will choose the quick fix and not go for the lasting solution. I'm determined to stay proud and keep going for it.

    Thx again guys!
     
  5. warriorwithin

    warriorwithin Fapstronaut

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    Your post is very encouraging.
    I just had to reset because I slipped up today, but when I read things like this it reassures me that it can be done. Don't stop!
     
  6. The best thing I found is to sit or lie silently a while and let your thoughts wander... Just relax... The thoughts of masturbating will go through your head like clouds ... they will come and go, and eventually the "sky" in your head will be clear again. It takes 10 minutes, and you will feel very relaxed and strengthened afterwards.
     
  7. coolmike87

    coolmike87 Fapstronaut

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    Don't throw away the 53 days. Think of how much you've fought temptation just to get to that number. Just to reset back to 0 would suck. You know what to do. Keep fighting.
     

  8. Yes, but PLEASE DO NOT "FIGHT". You are not at "war" with your own body.

    Instead, MAKE PEACE.
    And RELAX. When the urge is coming, just relax. It will come ... and it will go ... like summer clouds on the sky.
     
  9. Sunyata78

    Sunyata78 Fapstronaut

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    Good to read the reactions, they help me very much.

    Thought it was good to search for some motivational NoFap quotes and searched on my phone and also on pics... Well, you know what kind of pics also show up than, and ofcourse I know too. I really have to quit that behavior, everything is right here so I don't need to search anything. Stop searching for anything if there's not a very specific thing I need to see. All of them are little doors back into the hole...

    I have stopped my active drinking addiction in a clinic where they taught me to STOP FIGHTING and surrender. So why is it so hard to do this NoFap? The bottle is ofcourse not hanging between my legs and PMO was also something that I did more after I stopped drinking and doing drugs. Like I was allowed to do it.

    So good comment, FreedomFlight. Surendering is the greatest gift for stopping an addiction, because if I fight the disease itself, I will always lose. I nearly lost my life drinking and snorting so I oughta know it by now.

    It's ok now. I will not masturbate, because I am allowing myself to be the best of what I can be.

    Peace!:)
     
  10. Sunyata78

    Sunyata78 Fapstronaut

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    Unfortunately I had to reset my counter. Couldn't resist anymore.
     

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