What prevented me from relapsing

Hey guys I want to share my story in hopes of helping someone. I pmo'd for about 9 years and it lead to a more passive life and I experienced a loss of sexual appetite, libido and weaker erections.

What prevented me from relapsing? I stopped being result-oriented and became process-oriented. I stopped counting days of NF and cut out all thoughts of the desired end results. I took one step at a time, one activity at a time and one day at a time. I began to focus on self improvement and before I knew it I was 4 months into no pmo. I'm now at 10 months. This was not easy, I made a conscience decision to fight off the pmo urges.

The moment I knew my brain was "re-wired". Around the 5 month mark I lost all desire to view porn. I figured the process-oriented system actually worked. This was an amazing feeling, but the humanly urge to release never left. I understand what y'all are going through and how tough it is to resist. My urges became so intense that I started to feel pain in my stomach and other areas. Classic blueballs. It got to the point where I couldn't take the pain and I ended up m'ing and did it without any thoughts of lust or porn. I didn't edge or prolong orgasm, it was a quick 5 minute deal. It was like performing maintenance, and I was left not feeling guilty and didn't experience the "chaser" effect. And I didn't get addicted...at that moment I knew I succeeded. I got married months later and my libido was back to normal and my erections were rock solid again.

The Religous aspect.
During the self improvement phase directly after I decided to not pmo, I began a personal relationship with God. I sought after him through scripture and prayer. He told me pmo was my idol and I put it above him. But his grace and mercy saved me, it's why he died on the cross. In Matthew 18:22 Jesus says he forgives the saved seventy times ten. When you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and he arose from his grave, repent and you will be saved. Good works will not get anyone into heaven, in Isaiah 64:6, Jesus says our good works are like filthy rags. So don't get discouraged when you relaspe. This gave me peace after I m'ed. The real sin behind all of this is lust. When you become married m becomes a sin because in Mark 10:8 He says the two will become one flesh.

Still to this day I get tempted, the devil will always shoot for your weak spots. I have to take it the Lord every single time through prayer andphysical action. Best of luck to you fellas! If I can do it, you certainly can.