1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Motivation for those new to NoFap

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by senornofap, May 16, 2014.

  1. senornofap

    senornofap New Fapstronaut

    4
    6
    3
    Hi guys,

    I signed up to the NoFap thread this morning after skirting around the website for the last few weeks. I was driven here this morning because last night, after 98 days of no pornography and no masturbation, I finally finished last night, inside my partner.

    I wanted to give hope to new members, and those who are struggling. Guys, it can happen.

    I've had delayed ejaculation for as many years as I've been having sex.

    The very first time I had sex with a girl, at the age of 17, I didn't ejaculate. I chalked that one off to nerves. It was my first time. I was young and naive. Surely, men didn't come every time, did they? This was fine.

    However, it kept on happening. Or not happening as the case may be.

    I got older, had a few more partners, and it continued to not happen. The pattern was always the same. The first time I'd have sex with a new partner, I'd be so thrilled that I was having sex with a good looking girl, that not finishing wouldn't bother me. It was something that I could cope with. However, when I was in longer term relationships, it began to wear me down.

    The first time I ever came with a girl present was when I slept with a girl while I was travelling. We had sex, and she turned to me and said, "Are you ever going to come?" We'd been having sex for around 45 minutes at this point. I told her about my little issue. The next time we had sex, she masturbated in front of me and I finished myself off. I felt an enormous sense of achievement, but alas, we never ever saw each other again as we went our separate ways.

    It never happened again.

    I had a few more sexual partners, but not for long enough to really tackle the problem.

    Six years ago, I met my current partner, the woman I know I will spend the rest of my life with. We began having sex regularly, and she didn't have to be Hercule Poirot to notice the absence of any kind of orgasm on my part.

    Over the six years we've been together, we've spoken about it at length. We would go through phases where it wouldn't bother us at all, and she could have two or three orgasms a night because of how long I could last without finishing. We'd also go through phases whereby it would bother us; she'd feel unloved and unattractive, I'd feel like half a man, all the time trying to convince her that, "it's not you, it's me."

    The thing is, I never really seriously considered my masturbation habits to be linked. I didn't think I masturbated excessively. I only ever did it once every couple of days. I however noticed a link when I started having a very set masturbation ritual - in terms of speed, position I had to sit in, and grip etc. No human being could have sex at the speed I was masturbating.

    Anyway, once the link was made, I made several half-arsed attempts to give up masturbation, normally lasting a week or so. Six weeks was actually my record at that point, but I only gave that up for lent, so I knew there was an end point. That was also before I had made any connection between my habit/addiction and my sex-life.

    On Feb 8th of this year she was on a plane back from a week at home. I'd had the flat to myself and she was due back in the morning. I'd spent the whole week living a bachelor life, drinking, eating pizza and of course, masturbating regularly. On Feb 8th though, I said to myself, this is my last one.

    And so it was.

    Fast forward a very trying 98 days later, and last night, for the first time EVER, i ejaculated inside my partner.

    I am absolutely thrilled.

    I know this isn't the end of the story. I'm not magically fixed now, and I'm almost expecting that the next time I have sex with her, I probably won't finish.

    However, I feel a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulder. The pressure has dissipated and hopefully I won't have to wait another 98 days for my next orgasm. Hell, even if it takes 97 days, it's still a sign of recovery.

    Guys, it's tough! The reset is hard. You will see sex everywhere. You will have powerful dreams and fantasies. You will stare luridly at women on the bus. When the weather is nice, and the skirts get shorter you'll notice. You'll find yourself thinking about sex all the time.

    Just know, that every day you get closer to healing yourself. Every challenge is absolutely worthwhile because when you get there, you will forget all the bad days.

    Today genuinely feels like the first day of the rest of my life. The misery of the last 10 years or so, without finishing, feeling like half a man, worrying if I'll ever beat it, if I'll ever be a father etc. is all gone. Now, I'm ready to continue grabbing life with renewed vigour.

    Seriously guys, stay strong!!
     
  2. YES MATE! Congratulations, this is awesome news! Thanks for sharing. This is the type of stuff people need to motivate themselves, I know it motivated me.
     
  3. Thezerdon

    Thezerdon Fapstronaut

    6
    0
    1
    Thanks for sharing!! I'm just starting on my quest to end my porn addiction, and reading success stories like yours gives a man hope!! All the best mate!!
     
  4. Balderdash

    Balderdash Fapstronaut

    86
    2
    8
    Get in man! You should be mighty proud!

    And you've given me hope, as a young guy, that the damage I must have done myself isn't irreversible.

    Thank you, and good luck!
     
  5. Chas1950

    Chas1950 Fapstronaut

    681
    118
    43
    Hello SeñorNoFap, thanks for sharing your story. It's a great encouragement. Well done. Did you record your 98-day PMO abstinence in a journal? I should love to read it. bw Ch
     
  6. Teezy91

    Teezy91 New Fapstronaut

    4
    1
    3
    Absolutely thrilled for you man. I know the pain of delayed ejaculation, and am fortunate enough to not be in it as deep as you were, but to see you be as successful as have been and will be is a great motivation for me and the others. Thank you for your post, good luck with the rest of your journey.
     
  7. NoMadCap

    NoMadCap Fapstronaut

    187
    1
    18
    Hey.. Well Done.. Congrats..It inspired me to keep going..!
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2014
  8. ChicoOmega

    ChicoOmega Fapstronaut

    35
    0
    6
    Congratulations man. i hope you have a good time from now on. Cheers mate.
     
  9. innercall

    innercall Fapstronaut

    123
    31
    28
    Well done bro..!!
    Proud of you.
    Thanks fr sharing.
     
  10. ponderingwonder

    ponderingwonder Fapstronaut

    99
    3
    18
    Thanks for sharing Senor, this is truly life changing stuff and you have truly become a man. To ongoing happiness, well done.
     
  11. morphmonster

    morphmonster Fapstronaut

    17
    0
    1
    A really inspiring story! thanks!
     
  12. inspiredtochange:)

    inspiredtochange:) New Fapstronaut

    3
    0
    1
    major motivation bro just what I needed. thanks heaps
     
  13. Knight11

    Knight11 Fapstronaut

    12
    0
    1
    You've made it finally!!:D keep going
     
  14. Luiz A.

    Luiz A. Fapstronaut

    17
    0
    1
    Congrats, comrade. I have the exact same problem, that's what made me stop with fapping and see if I can finally beat this condition. But tell us, were you able to do it again without your hands? Please, I really want to know.
     
  15. senornofap

    senornofap New Fapstronaut

    4
    6
    3
    Not straight away Luiz. The next time my partner and I had sex, nothing happened. But what was interesting is the feeling of "point of no return" felt closer than ever. It felt like i was feeling after 90 odd days of abstinence, not like id ejaculated a few days earlier. The same thing happened a couple more times and then i had two successes in a week, once with my partners hands and the other through regular intercourse. It works and i am just looking forward to my next success
     
  16. Luiz A.

    Luiz A. Fapstronaut

    17
    0
    1
    Really good to know.
    Thanks, pal, now I am sure I am in the right path.
     
  17. NoFap2000

    NoFap2000 Fapstronaut

    24
    0
    1
    Thank you man for sharing your experience. Its 19th day for me and sometime I really get demotivated.

    But people like yous keeps us going.
     
  18. Traveler85

    Traveler85 Fapstronaut

    56
    20
    8
    Thanks for sharing. That was a powerful and inspiring story. Congratulations man. It took my lifelong partner too to help me realize the connections and problems interlinking PMO. I think great fulfilling Real sex is a big motivator for nofap
     
  19. ABP

    ABP Fapstronaut

    14
    0
    1
    HUGE thanks for sharing this, Senornofap!! I have exactly the same problem and since i decided to get rid of porn forever (i armed myself with some significant amount of knowledge today and i will keep preparing myself even more), now i truly realize that i can manage to deal with this problem too!! I mean, i had several situations in which i was close to my orgasm while having sex, but i could never get there and i felt exactly like you.. Once again, thanks a lot for writing this down and congratulations for your success, dude! :) I wish you lots of wonderful moments with your girl ! :)
     
  20. Mindchamp

    Mindchamp Fapstronaut

    43
    0
    6
    Wonderful of you to share this man.
    Thank you and congrats for the successful ejaculation inside :)
    I've been rationalizing to relapse today and by reading this, the negative thoughts has just been drastically reduced. My resolve is strong now.
     

Share This Page