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I feel like nothing makes sense to me anymore

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Jun 27, 2017.

  1. Jun 27, 2017 #1
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I forgot how to feel happy and excited but the weird thing is everyone thinks that I'm the happiest person in the world but it's not true,perhaps I'm really good at hiding my real feelings.

    Since I was a teenager I was always good with girls,every girl I met said that I'm so charming,handsome and fun but often no one wants to see me the next day or they just don't care about me the next day.

    I can't seem to get a decent job although I know six languages fluently and I'm constantly improving my skills. In my last interview I know that I killed it even the girl who was also applying for that job told me that I'm just a lot better than she is and at the end they picked her not me.

    I don't even care anymore if I live or die because I'm tired of feeling very passionate feelings and let my heart get stomped on next day and see that no one cares about the things I have accomplished so far. It's like living with a damn curse,the universe just hates my guts.

    I even lost my interest in music which was consuming my whole day,now I sit and just do senseless boring stupid things on my computer.

    Nothing seems to change in my life and I am trying for four years now and I think there is no point in trying for four years more. Actually weed helped me through some of this but I smoked so much and my tolerance is really high,now I can't even get high enough anymore to forget about my life.

    Only thing that's stopping me from killing myself is knowing that in 50-60 years max. I will be dead anyway and this all will end and finally I won't feel anything anymore.
     
    Deleted Account, Jun 27, 2017
    Deleted Account, Jun 27, 2017
    #1
  2. Jun 27, 2017 #2
    Lupus S

    Lupus S Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry about the job. You can't know why it is exactly, sometimes they think you're overqualified and you'd leave them the first chance you get. Don't beat yourself over it.
    "Girls don't want me."
    "No employer wants me."
    "I get hearth broken every time."
    "I made no headway."
    These are really dark thoughts. Lots of people thought at least couple of them, lots of us probably did, I sure did. Let me tell you something, between the ages of 21-24 I shut myself in. I was hoping to find intrinsic solutions to my intrinsic problems. In that 3 years, I just went crazier with no improvements at all. I get how that feels, I felt how that feels. It's okay. You're gonna get through this, you're gonna look back at the other side of the tunnel, you're gonna be like "Lel. easy!"
    You gotta keep working on it, though.
     
    Lupus S, Jun 27, 2017
    Lupus S, Jun 27, 2017
    #2
    Phil Harmonica likes this.
  3. Jun 27, 2017 #3
    vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

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    @TheBetterMe90 : it seems that you expect quite a bit much from outside world and they didn't give you as much as you expected, so you feel bad. Definitely pmo do involve, also depression, and also substance make things worse. It's all on your mind, your life maybe not ok right now, but your mind is making you feel like your life is 100 times worse. It's an illusion, it's the mind which is depressing, not your life, and you can get out of that place by being mindful. It can be very tough first but it will be very rewarding later. And that's the pain-pleasure process instead of pleasure-pain like pmo
     
    vulture175, Jun 27, 2017
    vulture175, Jun 27, 2017
    #3
    Phil Harmonica likes this.
  4. Jun 28, 2017 #4
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest



    I tried everything nothing changes. The weird thing is I am depressed but the depression is turning into anger and hatred. Yesterday like always I met a lot of girls and they were all interested in me. Now it's today and of course like always they don't care about me anymore. Man,I play the guitar like a beast and sing,everyone I met told me that I am just amazing so what's the damn problem with me? Why no one cares about me the next day after all that impression I make on them?
     
    Deleted Account, Jun 28, 2017
    Deleted Account, Jun 28, 2017
    #4
  5. Jun 28, 2017 #5
    FindingAName

    FindingAName Banned User

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    I say kill them. Kill them all. Fuvk it, your an amazing person and they want to treat you like that? Kill them
     
    FindingAName, Jun 28, 2017
    FindingAName, Jun 28, 2017
    #5
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Jun 28, 2017 #6
    vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Reminds me of Cathedral walls by Swallow The Sun
    "This silence speaks a million words
    Words of comfort so shallow
    How I wish even for one tear
    But for my heart it is too late
    Where do I go when the sorrow turns to hate
    Where do I go from here?"
    You view your situation as pathetic. I view your situation as amazing. I thought you should be happy about it :D. Maybe you only need to make impression on yourself

    Lmao. YAAYAYAYAYA, kill em all - metalica :D
     
    vulture175, Jun 28, 2017
    vulture175, Jun 28, 2017
    #6
  7. Jun 28, 2017 #7
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I was thinking about the same thing yesterday. Then I didn't.
     
    Deleted Account, Jun 28, 2017
    Deleted Account, Jun 28, 2017
    #7

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