Am I gay or straight?

Thanks alot. No offense to those whom prefer the same sex, but I'll pass. Once I started dealing with the PIED and the withdrawal symptoms, I began to lose my mind. I'm good though.

 

Hi
I can only say that
Man you are living in virtual reality.
Where you want women but also want yourself like other men. You feel other man have better physique, style, looks , testosterone better than you. You feel like they are better than you and you cannot good enough to give pleasure to women. So you consider them instead of yourself.
Come in reality. Make real sex if possible. Feel it.
Your approch is dangerous for yourself in future. It will lead to confused , immature, bisexual and cuckload lifestyle.
Be on one side of the river man...

 

Man I know what you mean. But mines is with transgendered people. It's more of the humiliation part and domination. Although I'll admit. Back when I was in school there use to be this really feminine gay guy. And once when I was fucked up. I decided to jack off and made up a whole scene in my head while I was jacking off that I was the typical Mr tough guy and picked on him. But behind closed doors I man handled and fucked the shit out of him.with no condom. And when I got done jacking off I busted the biggest but. But I know that was just too much porn watching and my mind reaching for the next thrill. I've never had sex with a transgendered person or a really girly guy. I've only jacked off to the thought of it. Mostly to transgendered people though. It can get real dark. I started watching bondage transgendered person porn, transgendered person cum without touching videos, ladyboys. I've even recently ran across a femboy video clip as well. Your right. The thought of making them your bitch and hearing them scream and whimper from the rough anal sex gets the dopamine levels up extremely high. To the point where you want to claim he/transgendered person butthole as yours and make them your sex slave. Trust me it gets deep. Porn is evil. It brings the evil out of you if you let it. But answer this question. When you fucked those two girly guys did you have a greater ejaculation? And when you penetrated them did something come over you that made you want to fuck the life out of them? Lol I'm sorry about the grammar but I just gotta be real as possible to get my point across.

 

'Proper' grammar is not a worry, brother. I myself am not a native English speaker.

I also used to watch ladyboy/femboy/transgendered person porn, especially if they were of a twink type. But never ever had this idea crossed my mind before getting addicted to PMO. I had a huge ejaculation with the second guy, but we had sex for 1 hour and also I had been so horny all day long looking for a twink. Continuous stimulation provokes huge orgasms. With the first guy, I don't know cos he swallowed it all. But I had noticed that I would usually ejaculate loads more when watching gay porn than straight porn, just like during the first years of watching straight porn. Novelty provokes a bigger and longer ejaculation. Regarding the second question, sure, I was feeling like I was a beast that just wanted to show them who the real man is and turn them into a girl and a toy for personal use... I had never ever had sex like that before. It was a very violent feeling that could not ever get satisfied. Even after having sex with them, I could not be relieved of this feeling, there could be no redemption. I could not sleep well, eat properly, think anything outside sex and domination/humiliation, carry out my everyday life - all due to my constant arousal... I was a piece of shit - the nicest way I can describe it. But these feelings lasted only for the days I was looking for sex in those apps.

PM addiction fucks up your life and it surely fucked up mine... Being in a constant state of stimulation is no good life. You consume lots of P, you M, you O, you search for free quick sex, you M, you P, you search for sex while M and the cycle goes like that ad infinitum. In the meanwhile, days have passed, and you haven't done anything for you, you keep deteriorating your physical and mental health, you abandon your real needs and deeds, you're an addict, a slave to PMO... Now, 35 days have passed without PMO and I can really see the wreckage I was. My addiction lasted for 5 years and it was after the first year that I started to have a desire to watch gay porn - still, I can't understand why, novelty I guess was the reason. I never felt the need to be with a guy, only to fuck and humiliate/dominate a feminine one.
Also, 5 years of addiction does not mean I did not do anything with my life. I had a gf, I graduated from uni, wrote a couple of papers, had friends, travel etc. It was only during this last year that my addiction really fucked up my life - especially after I broke up with my gf.

A PM-free life is a happy life

 

Have you been fantasizing about fucking a man from behind? If that turns you on, you're most likely gay or they called "top"

 

Sorry for so much quotes, but i need to explain my situation.

I found on internet that i am "heteroflexual". I am not gay, i don't feel anything for male body or similar, i really love girls, buuuut i love also dick. I had sex with men, but i said "no kissing" because i really don't want it, only dick is what i want from them. i watched gay porn and it really dont turn me on, only porn i watch is anal (male f..k female).

OK, as i said i had sex with men and i was always bottomed. I can do everything (exclude kissing or cuddling, no romantic things) so also anal is included. As @AscendRestore said it's not something "just to do", first time when i tried anal with toy (i was 14 and "toy" was some smooth plastic) it was painful, and moths after i read some instructions about anal (how to prepare and relax) and i decide to try it again. I wash myself (enema), did everything, relax and started again. This time it was pure pleasure. it last for a hour and i can't describe feeling. Main reason for it was porn i saw in sexy magazines, i saw lot of girls while they take dicks in theit butts i was sure it's good. Oh yes, main reason for my last 2 relapses is watching porn and toying myself aaaaaand there is it, anal orgasm. I don't even touch my penis.

Ah yes, this is first time ever that i write this, i am pretty sure our sexuality work in different ways and there are people like me. I'll report what's happened with this fetish if i finish rebooting.

 

Well, here's what I think. I think that, since you wouldn't have any moral issues (religion or so) calling yourself straight, bisexual, or gay, all you have to do is go out there and just find out what you like! Your porn preferences may or may not be an indicator for your sexuality, but most importantly, don't feel obliged to "choose a side" if you genuinely don't really know what you like, because any added pressure might alter your decision. Get out there, check out what you're really attracted to, then make up your mind confidently.

 

That's dope bro. And I completely get what you mean. I don't watch gay porn. But when I do look for the next thrill like I said sometimes I think about man handling, dominating and destroying a really feminine frail gay guys ass. Trust me your not the only one. I get extremely aggressive and when I'm jacking off to the thought of it I try to see myself fucking them as hard as I can, hearing them scream from pain and all plays a part in it. But once I nut the feeling goes away and I feel like shit. I've never had sex with a guy not plan on it but you'll get through it bro. Watching transgendered person porn so long made us start to find girly frail effeminate men attractive too. For me I know exactly which ones. The ones you have to double take at cause they really do sound like a chick. Or the ones that like to wear flip flops and be super gay. Those are the ones I'd imagine me basically raping them to get a nut. It got real dark but I'm still trying. I still battle with it. But I'll get through it and you will too. But you gotta ask yourself...at the end of the day...would you fuck at least one of those twinks again? Or have you jacked off to the thought of them?

 

And damn it sounds like you really fucked the shit out if this twinks. I know the power hungry feeling. Sometimes when I get done working out and it's real hot and I got the urge to jack off. I'll do it right there sweating and all but I'll think about fucking some frail twink on the floor with me mounted on top and I'll have them wrapped up in my arms. So I can get deep. That's how into detail I can go with it. In the moment it's hot and I'll get the best nut ever. Like you said for personal use and to give them what they want. Turn them into a girl or breed them. But when the high comes down I realize I don't want that. Never have never will. It's all in the mind.

 

I've read the posts here, and I must say it is very sad to see how porn has changed the sexual preferences of so many people. But one thing is clear, we're not our addiction!

 

I would say you are human and therefore capable of a variety of attractions and tastes. I used to spend a lot of time trying to find my identity. Then I realized this need to identify ones sexuality is a pretty new concept, no more than 100 yrs old really. In the old days people were just humans and the only things which had labels were acts.

Anyway, I no longer pigeonhole myself into a category; life's to big a beautiful for shit like that.

 

As Jason Mraz says: "There's no need to complicate, Our time is short, This is our fate,"
Or as Axl Rose sings: "Let's live and let die!!!"
Fercho

 

Life is simple. It's us that make it complicated.