Seeing a new girl. 22 years old, 16 days into a reboot.

All,

I am a 22 year old man with PIED. I am currently on the 16th day of my reboot. By that I mean no porn, no masturbation and no orgasms.

The day after the last time I masturbated (16 days ago) I met up with a really nice girl. We went for drinks, had dinner. I attended a house party in the town where she was staying and I went back to hers to sleep after she kindly agreed it was okay. We made out and cuddled in bed but nothing sexual occurred. As I lay next to her, I was soft. I was quite drunk at the time, so this may have had an effect. I generally didn't feel very aroused, but I enjoyed my time with her all the same. Keep in mind, this was the day after I masturbated - so that likely affected softness and my lack of sexual interest in her.

*Isn't it amazing (and frightening) how porn can make a young man in his prime so desensitised that he's not aroused by a beautiful girl laying next to him half-naked?*


Anyway, so two weeks passed until I next see her, which was yesterday. I am now 16 days into a reboot. I think I had a week of flatlining and it has just passed. During this time my penis felt very insensitive, and somehow felt smaller and less full.

The date was a success. We hung out in a field, enjoyed the weather, we made out a lot, drunk some wine etc... As we made out I felt myself getting harder, just by touching her. She looked down and noticed the bulge under my jeans and laughed. It is hard to say how erect I was, maybe 65-70% of maximum. I see these as really positive signs. This time I felt truly aroused and as we made out I really want to have sex with her. (I had very bad blue balls later that evening.)

On to my question - I like this girl. There is sexual chemistry for sure. I think this will escalate into something more physical. However, I don't want to lose my NoFap progress. I'm absolutely certain that I will cure this PIED, and I do not want to orgasm, or have sex yet. Am I being too cautious?

How do I proceed with this? Should I not worry about having sex - as it will be with a real girl, who I find attractive and there won't be any porn fantasising going on?

Or - shall I say I'm not ready to have sex with you yet. I'm more than happy to perform sexual acts on her, it's just I am committed to this. I can tell this reboot will be a success, and I don't want to do anything to harm my long-term goal of getting back to rock hard erections and mind-blowing sex.

Please do let me know your thoughts.

 

Hello,

Thank you for your response.

I think many of us are in the same situation. I have PMOing since a young age - maybe 11. However, from 2012 - early 2016 (when I was always very sexually active) I never had an issue.

Problems arose after I stopped having consistent sex with my girlfriend, with whom I broke up. It was a stressful period for me so I turned (unknowingly) to pornography, and would masturbate to it 1 to 3 times a day religiously, thereby reducing my sensitivity. Now here I am.

The logic behind NoFap makes me incredibly confident that I, and all other guys in this situation will be okay, and actually we will better than okay. Sex is to be enjoyed with a real woman - not with a pixelated image and your hand. I get this, and I'm happy to continue my journey.

I will see how things develop with this girl. I really want to do, at the very least, 30 days no PMO - if possible 60. But I think things will heat up before then.

I'll update this as of when.

 

Hello, and thanks for your message.

The last time I was in sexual contact with this girl was last Friday. At this point, I was 28 days into my reboot - so nearly at the 30 day mark. We kissed, cuddled and I pleasured her with my hands.
I was quite aroused and had an erection of about 65-70% of full strength.

Now, she didn't actually touch me in anyway. If she did, it is likely that I would have achieved a full erection - I'm pretty confident of that.

However, my erection on this day was up and down - but I'm not too stressed about this - because she didn't touch me in anyway, so it's not like I was on the receiving end of any physical stimulation.

I'm now going to aim for 60 days no PMO. I really think this is working and want to do it for as long as I can in order to enjoy the results of a complete reboot - with 90 days being my ultimate goal.

If I do happen to O with this girl before either the 60/90 day mark - then so be it. But I will under no circumstances watch porn or masturbate.

What's your story bro?

 

Get that number ASAP. Life is too short.

 

Wow, thank you very much for the detailed post.

My lady friend feels pretty comfortable around me. The main issue is that she wants sex. Whenever we mess around she always begs me to 'fuck her' - she becomes very aroused but ultimately she does respect my decision to not. (although she doesn't know the reason behind my abstinence)

Regarding the second paragraph. She's definitely not the type of girl that I want anything serious with. She is a very nice person nevertheless. However, we just are not that compatible. But that doesn't mean that we cannot enjoy one another, spend time together and just enjoy life. I've become very accepting recently, in many aspects of my life.

To me, it appears like this girl has appeared at the right time. Our relationship is temporary - but that's okay, and we'll enjoy it for the time being.

 

Hi and thanks for your post.

I absolutely agree with everything you are saying. But, the reason for my reboot and realisation is my PIED. I used to have an unbelievable sexual appetite. But once i stopped having regular sex and replaced this with porn it has had an effect on my ability to get hard.

I want to complete the 90 days before I even attempt to have sex - as I think that will give me the best chance of recovering from PIED.

 

Thanks for reading my post, your comment and the support!

Also, congratulations on your 30 day milestone. Things have cooled off a bit between us - I'm sure I'll see her again. But if I don't - it's not a big deal to be honest. I'm focused on my goals. 36 days in - not repaired yet, but I'll get there.

How is your reboot going?

With best wishes,
TheWarrant

 

Don't tell her yet, there is no need. Continue with the PMO journey and don't force sex upon her too soon. There is no need for things to escalate physically yet. Let yourself heal and enjoy the time with this girl.

 

UPDATE:

I am no longer seeing this girl. She said that we lacked the connection and to be honest, I agree. While there was physical attraction, we were on two different intellectual levels. She is very childish, has an immature sense of humour and hasn't got her life in order quite yet. I feel as though this had a negative impact on our interactions overall and we began to run out of conversation topics. I will miss her, but I guess that's life.

I have matched with a girl on Tinder who lives some distance away. We exchange text messages now and she sends me sexy photos (of her boobs) - i'm going to tell her to stop. While I don't consider this pornography, I still think it's dangerous. It's unlikely i will meet her, she lives far away.

When I was in my previous relationship (and have good sex without issue) my ex would frequently send me sexy photos which never had any adverse effects. Presently, I have no women with whom i'm speaking with seriously or likely to have sex/intimacy with. Which is good for me I guess, as this will allow me to complete 90 days no PMO.

Feeling good overall and i think that my penis is regaining life and the ability to reach a full erection. Morning wood is frequently present when I wake up.