Who wants to start a cult?

Kinda wanna start a cult. I figure any dude who wants to stay completely celibate for life, or at least a few years while you're in the cult, can join up. We'll build shacks out in the desert, run some sort of online business, follow a vegan diet, with a lot of emphasis on taking homegrown herbs with medicinal properties. Maybe some sort of yoga or martial arts or something, too, and we'll try to figure out how to use all of our stored up sexual energy to summon UFOs.

 

And we can build a giant effigy of a woman, and stand around her in a circle singing love songs to her. I suggest "I guess that's why they call it the blues."

 

Well figuring out to fund the cult is the hardest part. I figure we're all accountability buddies with no privacy on the compound, so it'll help us resist the urges. There's a lot of tech savvy among fapstronauts that could be put to good use. But yeah, we can explore other business avenues. Our super-energy might allow us to grow gifted herbs we could sell. Or at least tell the people who buy them that it works like that.

 

Haha I was wondering how long it would be til the idea turned gay. Lol. But yes, that's a great idea. Or maybe just some sort of shaming ritual, or send them to the woods until they're purified again.

 

I mean, serious, you know, maybe. If we got a good enough team together I would be down. One idea I've had is to create a heavily moderate sex chat room, to keep out all the violent people. Fapstronauts could be the moderators, and if the idea was successful, we could make a buck and get out quick. The hope being that an anti-creep chat room would attract more females, and thus more males. But you know, some good idea like that could make this silly idea into a good idea.

And I do kinda think we could use our sublimated sexual energy to summon UFOs, but it would take a lot of practice.

 

I'm way ahead of you thinking about the gym stuff. That's what I was thinking about with the medicinal herbs, we could be growing stuff that works as natural performance enhancers. We'd need to get pretty brollick to hang out in the middle east for very long. They're serious there.

 

I figured the singing to the effigy ritual would show the aliens how enlightened we are. But we could get a library of magic, religion, philosophy and science texts to help us figure out how to beam our energy to the aliens just right.

 

Right but if you saw the ants abandon their queen, build a model of her and start singing around her in a circle, while engaging in persistent meditative practices, then you would start watching that anthill more closely. You'd be like "wtf is up with these ants?" And then if they started arranging sticks and spelled out "humans please take us inside your houses and build us an ant farm," you'd be like "well okay..."

 

The aliens would probably want us to rule the world once we establish ourselves as deep, sincere and altruistic. Or as good trading partners, depending on the attitude of the aliens. So they'd hook us up with technology and such to achieve those ends.