90 Days Hard Mode No PMO - My Success Story

I started my 90 day reboot on 11/04/2017 and this is my timeline.

May 10, 2017 - 30 Days NoFap
June 10, 2017 - 60 Days NoFap
July 10, 2017 - 90 Days NoFap

30 Days of NoFap

For the first 30 days i did not experience much change. In fact i was completely flatlined i could not feel anything because i was just so numb and emotionless all over. I have to admit that i had my doubts about the whole NoFap getting over your porn addiction thing. During this period i was at my lowest because i was taking it very seriously. I disabled all of my dating profiles and stopped looking at all porn period.

Back then i was just so lifeless i had no urges to even look at anything pornographic or sexually stimulating. The first month for me was hard socially because i felt completely cut off from people. My main source of meeting people and girls was through dating and i forbid myself from doing anything which could lead to triggers.

Despite my loneliness i believe it was very beneficial because the addiction was starting to fade away and my focus had changed to other things.

60 Days of NoFap

When i hit 60 days of no PMO it was literally game changing for me! I desperately wanted to return to the dating scene my libido was back and i was starting to have morning wood again! This is something that i had not experienced for months because i was fapping off at least once or twice a day so i had become desensitised down there. But after 60 days of doing absolutely nothing the feeling was starting to come back!

I felt like i was ready to start meeting people and dating again because this loneliness was really starting to get me down. Every day was a battle and i think during this period it was really getting to me. My friends were out there meeting people and i was always alone, missing out on opportunities.

This is also where the stress of doing NoFap for so long was affecting me. I started to get headaches i guess it was just me getting myself worked up. Anyway around day 70 i made a compromise and decided to return to the dating scene. Not for sex but for the social aspect of meeting people again because i believe that in order for people to truly overcome this addiction they must form new neural pathways away from the porn.

So basically force yourself to go out there and meet people as it MUST become the normal way to interact with people. No more relying on cheap dopamine thrills from PMO which cheat you out of meeting people in real life. The more people you meet and interact with the stronger that connection becomes as you break the bond you have trained yourself to survive on with the porn addiction.

I remember one day when i went to this store to buy some toiletries. There was this really beautiful girl behind the counter, she turned her head in my direction and our eyes gazed at each other for a few seconds. I went over to the counter to pay for the stuff i bought and that is when it happened… Up close i noticed how beautiful she was and i got the biggest hard on i have had in a very long time and i did not even touch myself! Unfortunately i was out of practice because i had not really being talking to people much up to this point so i did not try to talk to her properly and left.

But at that moment i realised that a lot of my problems have been psychological and that i was starting to heal. This became even more apparent as i was unable to walk and literally had to stop walking because i was just too damn hard i could not move!

90 Days of NoFap

Once i made it to 90 days it felt like a complete transformation for me. I’m not going to lie it was very hard to begin with and there were days when i thought about looking at porn again. I had one bad day where i came close to relapsing as i had got blue balls and in my experience i knew that fapping would relieve the pain. Luckily it went away after a day or so…

When i first started NoFap on Hard Mode i had really bad ED and DE to the point where i had almost given up on it i just did not understand it at all. But since doing this reboot i have learned a lot and my ED is much better now. I cant speak for the DE yet as i have not been sexually active since starting obviously

One thing which worked really well for me in regards to significantly improving my ED problems was not touching myself at all, meditation and just being around girls. I did a little bit of image visualisation training too. Basically what you are doing is rewiring your brain. So instead of thinking about a porn scene i imagined myself with a real life girl someone i knew. It might sound a bit silly but this stuff actually works. You are going back to having that manly, primal way of thinking you don’t need to fantasise over something fake that you saw online. Get aroused by imagining yourself with a girl that is how its supposed to be we could all do that before we messed ourself up with this porn.

Let me also emphasise the importance of being social during these reboots. Meeting people is natural we need that bond, the connections the feeling the banter to keep us sane and human. Denying yourself these necessities will only make you depressed and lonely. It’s hard enough forcing yourself to stop watching porn as it is already when you start so why make your life more difficult.

I have not had sex yet however, i did go on two dates with the same girl a few days ago. What i have noticed is that since i have stopped watching porn my energy has changed. What i mean is that its like people are noticing me more and i am noticing them more too. I have seen girls checking me out a lot more and irrespective of looks i believe we can all achieve this.

Watching porn is like being in a coma and as soon as you stop doing it you return to the world and experience it for what it really is. An amazing place full of opportunities. My anxiety while not cured yet has gone down significantly and i feel like i could be more social if i chose to be. It’s a shift in mindset.

I will probably switch to no PM now as i believe the time is right to be trying to have sex as its the only way you are truly going to progress in the right direction. The journey is far from over but i am on the right track now.

I’m sure you all have questions so go ahead and ask, i will respond to them when i can.

Relax and Listen. Repetition is the key to becoming the person you want to be.

 

Probably around day 60 because that is when i personally believed that i was ready to return to the dating scene. I even did a poll on here and most people suggested that i should wait until 90 days which i more a less did in the end. Because i have not had any sex yet and of course i don’t look at porn or masturbate anymore.

Once i disconnected myself from the porn it was like i had gone from being the invisible man to someone who people could see again. I was also reading a lot of self help books too so that fire is what probably brought me more confidence and decreased my anxiety.

 

Very inspiring. I suspect there were more challenges in those days than you describe. Can you mention some of your strategies more? Going for 40 days HM myself.

 

Yes i know right! I feel like its a huge weight of my shoulders i can finally start to move on with my life. Better prepared and significantly more positive its like finding yourself.

Sure ok yes you are right i had to go through many challenges and there were countless days when i wanted to relapse. Going for such a long period of time without your most enjoyable source of pleasure, which for me back then was the porn is a very difficult cycle to break. I used to browse porn for hours at night before going to bed, now i haven’t been to a porn website since i started my reboot. It’s probably going to be different for everyone but what really worked for me was knowing that i could get a girlfriend if i wanted to i don’t need to cheat myself out of relationships by fapping over porn. The last girl i had sex with rejected me because of my ED i did not tell her about it so she probably thought that i was not attracted to her. From that moment i came back on here and took it seriously.

I will never relapse like that again because i will always remember what happened and what will happen again if i do it. It’s simply not worth the trouble. We have one life why waste it fapping off every day. Every time you do it you have to wait for yourself to heal that is a lot of wasted months. The strategies that worked for me included finding more productive things to do with your time. When you are generally being busy doing things which you need to do you will realise that you simply don’t have the time for a pointless long porn session its just a huge waste of time really.

A lot of people use porn blockers i had no need for them i always had the willpower to control myself. If i don’t want to go to a porn website i won’t. So my usual daily routine would be waking up and then going to work where i would be there for 2/3 of the day. Then i would come home eat, maybe watch some TV and check emails. Also i would go to the gym and work out i also had books that i was reading and a few games i like to play. So you can already see that i have so much going on that i just don’t have the time to even think about watching porn.

I might watch a late movie and then go to bed I’m too tired to do anything else so porn is a non issue. Around day 70 the loneliness started to get to me and this is when i returned to the dating scene. I also downloaded an app called Tandem its for learning languages but a lot of people also use it for making friends and dating. This for me was literally eye opening and game changing. Because right now i am talking to so many people and making so many friends the thought of using porn is irrelevant.

When you have that social proof you know all those connections, you will see that you have a REAL life and when you have a life you don’t need porn anymore. That is the old you. So to recap. Make yourself busy, find things to do, complete your to do list. You could even travel and meet people just get out of your head and out of the house experience life. Talk to people, use your hobbies to the max.

Going to the gym and working out is a good bonus too it boosts your testosterone and if you get up early and work out then you are not lying in bed thinking about fapping.

 

Very true @theends !

So on day 94 I just hit another milestone! Last night I had sex with a girl and for the first time EVER in my life I was able to cum from a BJ! I did not think such a thing was ever going to be possible omg! In the past I would only cum if I fapped off myself nothing else worked until now. It used to take hours for me to cum my DE was really bad… But last night it took less than 3 minutes wow!

The sensitivity below has increased dramatically this is what happens when you just STOP fapping completely. What a difference, to finally have a girl feel like she satisfied me because I was able to climax. Its like being in a different world now.

The journey continues this is what I have learnt so far. Never ever, ever fap off again! Because as long as you keep doing it you have trained your brain to react to your touch and your touch only! The only time I’m going to touch myself down there is when I’m going to the toilet or I’m in the shower. From now on I will leave it up to the girl so I get used to their touch.

See this is one of the little secrets to getting over your ED and DE, only let the girl please you don’t cheat yourself and do it alone because then when you are with a girl it won’t work! Its like trying to open a door with the wrong keys

 

Congratulations!

 

Yeah sure. So far i have read these ones.

The Celestine Prophecy: An Adventure
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life - Before 8AM
Awaken the Giant Within
How to Win Friends & Influence People

 

Firstly you need to identify your porn fapping patterns. When do you usually do it? If its at night while you are lying in bed then do something else instead. Play a game, read a book, read the news, music, anything but the porn. Realise that fapping is the same as getting yourself castrated. You are intentionally hurting yourself by doing it and denying yourself a chance to get girls to accept you. If you are comfortable with a reality of fapping and forever wondering why you struggle with girls then keep fapping.

But if you want to beat this addiction and feel normal again do whatever it takes to STOP. If you have PIED or any of those other problems I’m telling you that it will go away when you stop. If that is not incentive enough then i don’t know what else to tell you. You need to have the motivation and willpower to do it like i did! I'm not going to lie i still think about it sometimes because i used to watch a LOT of porn and the scenes are still fresh in my head. I'm not fully over it yet but i will never ever do it again and i won't be searching for those videos again. Simple answer is because my ED and DE has significantly improved and when i last had sex the girl was satisfied. Why would i ever ever ever want to go back to not not being able to get it up and thinking of a lie for why it did not happen?

My daily routine was easy to follow. I already knew that i would fap off at least twice a day. Once in the morning and once before bed. So i broke the pattern, this is what i did its fairly straightforward. In the morning when i woke up i would listen to some affirmations whilst doing some meditation or maybe reading the news for a few minutes. Then get up and work out followed by having breakfast. On mornings that i did not work out i would just mediate longer before getting out of bed. During the week i have work so i cant stay in bed long, no time for that multiple hour long fap sessions. On weekends i could just get up and workout, before you know it its time for breakfast and you are not likely to get back into bed again because you just have too many things to do during the day. Hobbies, talking to people or something else. Just make yourself busy and you will forget about the porn.

At night before bed was when i was most likely to fap off. I just replaced it with another addiction. Gaming! So i have one game I’m addicted to on my phone i just play that for a while and also i might be talking to friends or reading the news or watching something on youtube. Eventually you are just too tired to stay awake and you go to sleep.

Alternatively you can listen to the affirmations again or read a book like self help and then you will find yourself going to sleep. Rinse and repeat this routine for a few days until it becomes a new habit. You just formed a new pattern and its not fapping off over porn well done!

I use these apps for general health.

Affirmations
[http://thinkup.me/]

Meditation
[https://www.headspace.com]
[https://www.calm.com]
[https://www.thinkpacifica.com]

For mediation you don’t need to use all of them choose one you like and stick with it.

And as an added bonus try Tandem.
[https://www.tandem.net]

It’s for learning languages but its also a good place to make friends/date.

So you see you will just have so many things going on that you won’t have time for porn anymore. With Tandem you will be talking to people and if you don’t have friends this is going to satisfy the loneliness you are feeling. You will be talking to girls as well so just put your concentration into communicating with people and boosting your social skills instead of wasting time fapping off in your bedroom.

Do you mean that you are socially awkward around them and you think negatively about them? I would start by doing affirmations. Write down all of the negative thoughts aka affirmations you have in your head that you keep telling yourself. And then create positive affirmations which counter them. Use that app ThinkUp record those new positive affirmations and use them daily as a reminder to reinforce that new belief set.

Google affirmations and learn about them and then you will figure out how to create good ones. And to deal with the social awkwardness go out there and do random approaches. Talk to strangers and do it over and over again because repetition is going to create a new pattern in you. Eventually you won’t be socially awkward any more.

If you need help with approaches and talking to people then use Youtube. There are dozens of videos on there where people teach you how to do it properly more information than i can tell you here on the subject.

I think this guys a good dating coach Youtube "Stephan Erdman".

 

Man, this deeply inspires me. Your story should give us all hope.

 

Sure no problem i would also recommend reading this book.

The Master Of The Elements - Transform Your Mind
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Master-Elements-Transform-Your-Mind/dp/1326451146

Basically its about "The system of the Four Elements (or the four primary building blocks of personality) helps you explore the secrets of your own mind."

There are four elements, fire, earth, water and air and everyone has at least one of them. When you understand how it works then you can connect with anyone by just using the same element. It's a very good read into human behaviour and psychology you will learn a lot from it.