Porn is about to lead me to the same spot heroin once did.

I work as a diesel mechanic for a 48 state trucking company. Living with my SO, and not being able to get off to anything to porn, I am literally thinking to myself "I wonder if I can live in one of the broken down OTR trucks if I ruin this relationship". That thought crossed my head a few times in the past month and I've recently processed this, that I would rather live in a rotting truck or in the back of an out of service trailer as opposed to doing something about my porn addiction. My want to just get off as quickly as I can because I'm bored, because I could have gotten off to her all day long, and I chose not to. Instead, I waited to go watch porn as soon as she went to sleep. Where does the insanity stop? When can I reclaim my manhood and stop ending my nights feeling sorry for myself, as a victim, and contemplating end results and survival over something as stupid as internet fetish? I'm truly insane.