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Depression

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Stop now, Jul 19, 2017.

  1. Stop now

    Stop now Fapstronaut

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    I have been having a hard time dealing with porn it has been about 1 year. When I was young maybe 9 years old, I was flipping through the channels and stumbled upon playboy and it was some kind of pornography on the screen. I automatically became aroused and watched it for some time. Then I found a CD cover of porn in my dad's house and I kept staring at it. Even when we went to eat I went to the CD cover and looked at the images again. Then for some years it didn't really come to my mind. When I was in middle school some of my friends would show me certain websites and would show me these filthy movies. They would even show me how to masturbate. I didn't really look at the stuff at the time except the times they showed me. But I knew I was affected by the images because I started thinking too sexual at a young age and kind of perverted. Everything was about sex way before I even hit puberty. When I finally hit puberty I had a laptop and I was in my bedroom my myself and I started masturbating to the porn. I would do it every couple of days or sometimes everyday and this lasted for about 4 years I was in high school. When I finished high school I pretty much stopped pmo for 1 year and a half without any kind of withdrawal or relapse. I started taking medicine for adhd which kind of lessens your sexual desire. I was doing well until last year I wanted to stop taking the medicine and my libido went extremely high and I never felt that before. I then started looking at images and then masturbated without any images. After that I got hooked onto pmo. It got so bad that I did it 6 times a couple of times. I was depressed and wanted to quit for the get go but was finding it difficult. I started failing my classes and my relationships with people was worse then they had ever been. I had not motivation to do anything. I was sleeping 12 hour days and doing nothing for the rest of the day. Now, I haven't fapped for 5 days straight and I felt better but this severe depression I feel is consuming me. I don't have things in my life that would cause me this depression except this. I was one time clean for 15 days and then this severe depression hit and I relapsed. I was wondering if someone could me some advice on this and is it normal to have this depression and how long?
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  2. saneagain

    saneagain Fapstronaut

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    Stop now likes this.
  3. oh man, you're still good. I quit porn a year and a half ago and I get bouts of anxiety/OCD/depression regulary, after 20+ years of masturbating. But you do have day when you feel invincible and nothing can touch you. So hang in there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
     
    Stop now likes this.
  4. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    To really reboot the right way I think you need to be totally unattached romantically. Once I started the reboot I knew I was on a 3 month dating sabbatical.
     
  5. Rog

    Rog Fapstronaut

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    I can't really answer your specific questions, but I can say from personal experience that PMO and depression make for a vicious cycle. The PMO side is pretty straightforward, albeit a pain in the butt... it's just a matter of saying "no" to anything and everything sex. It's been a while since I've made a 90-day streak, but I'd say that it takes at least that long to normalize. The depression is a bit trickier, but my personal takeaway is that depression always lies. If depression every tells you to do anything, it's the last thing you should do. If it says to sleep some more, get up. If it says to stay inside today, you have to get outta the house. It may take a while for it to sink in, how much commitment this requires. It's a full-time job, and there will be ruts. As my counter indicates, I'm kinda in one right now. Just don't worry about when it'll be over. That's what depression wants you to do.
     
  6. Human Lab-Rat

    Human Lab-Rat Fapstronaut

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    Exercise, cold showers and smal smal extreeeeamly smal goals helps me, when Iäm depressed.
     
    Stop now likes this.
  7. Stop now

    Stop now Fapstronaut

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    But do you know if the depression will ease up at any point because it is very intense for the last 6 days
     
  8. Stop now

    Stop now Fapstronaut

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    Do you really believe that the depression always stays? That would be a hard life to live.
     
  9. Start exercise or go out for a walk.
    It'll change your physicality soon & then physicality will change your mind.
     
  10. Stop now

    Stop now Fapstronaut

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    Really appreciate your comments man. Thank you
     
  11. saneagain

    saneagain Fapstronaut

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    6 days? My depression has improved after 7 months. Before that I had suicidal thoughts constantly. Now I just walk around like a zombie with no feelings at all. All the withdrawal symptoms may last a long time. Some people are good after 2 months. Some take almost 2 years.

    But to answer your question: I think your depression will lift up, if there is no underlying condition. But you have to give it time.
     
    Stop now likes this.
  12. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    I have been had major clinical depression for over 20 years. No it's not easy.
     
    Stop now likes this.
  13. of course it does. THe depression you feel right now is just your brain acting up for not getting any porn. as time passes by and you move on with your life, old unused dopamine receptors become active again to other pleasures of life. Your used the porn receptors so much, the rest of them shut down. Since you are not getting any dopamine now, you feel depressed.

    It's all action and reaction. You consumed all that porn, now you pay for it. But it is all reversible, plus it will make you stronger. Keep your chin up.
     
  14. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    I hate to say this but the pain is good for you. A little suffering teaches you a lesson. This is payback.
     
  15. CrumplyCrumps

    CrumplyCrumps Fapstronaut

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    Fappy fappy
    Nappy nappy
    This is my life,
    Because I am not happy
     
  16. Rog

    Rog Fapstronaut

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    Hmmm I'm not comfortable saying, "Oh, yeah, your depression will totally dissipate after X amount of time" because, like I said, depression lies for its survival. If the depression can convince you "Yeah, I'm not permanent: you just have to endure me a while longer," then the depression will win. If it keeps tricking you into thinking about when it will leave, you'll never focus on the present, which is the only time you have the power to actually fight the depression 'n force it to leave.
     
    Stop now likes this.

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