Female Ex-Porn Addict wanting advice on dopamine

Actually I am feeling the same exact way. I just finished a movie I have watched before, but forgot about a sexual scene. The same rush I used to get came back, and I wanted to sneak off to pm. However, I stopped and reviewed the feelings I was having and the moment of the rush. I gave myself a little pep talk about these feelings, and how I should manage them. I am only currently 44 days into my goal, so I understand your rush, and the amount energy it takes to settle the dopamine rush.

 

Porn addiction within a relationship often causes problems, I am surprised that both of you were aflicted by the addiction, the norm is generally the man who is hooked and the partner is left picking up the pieces. It's good that you are both helping each other, that shows you are both committed to each other and that is nice. I've been abstinent for coming up to 3 years but I can't comment about the dynamics in a relationship since it's been 10 years for me when I was last in one. What I will say is part of overcomming porn addiction is living a different lifestyle, ie: replacing your outlets such as excitement and creativity. I've picked up old hobbies I lost interest in years ago, do more exercise and spend more time learning and helping others where before I was pretty much only concerned with feeding my addiction. I wonder if some kind of relationship counselling could be useful for both of you? I don't know where you are from but in my country there is a charity called 'relate' which help couples to overcome their difficulties. I couldn't have overcome my problems on my own, I had help from good people, some professional and some, just kind hearted individuals who wanted to support my new life. I can recommend a book to you called 'The Porn Trap' by Larry and Wendy Maltz which talks about strategies for recovery and relationship healing and I think would be useful for both of you to read.

 

Hardcore pmo addict here since 15yo and now im 30yo been clean 7month after tons of relapse and and a year of struggling..i feel i already normal again and feels like a real man and i alreadt achieving the benefit of NoFap.i can having a great sex with my girl for 30minute thats something that i cant belive gonna happen to me years ago.so push yourself to the limit quit pmo or mo back to the natural state body and mind i believe everyone can do it.goodluck!

 

Well according to the practice of "rebooting" advocated here, getting off porn for long enough is the pathway to build real-life attraction again.

While being PMO-free might be necessary, I feel that the actual goal is to achieve actual intimacy with a partner. And, in theory, a sane, intimate relationship includes mutual attraction and passionate sex. I don't know myself if I will ever feel as aroused from the real thing as I regularly felt from my most intense PMO-sessions. I wrote about that a bit in the last comments of my journal.

So to me, there are two possibilities: Either porn was a substitute for real sex (for both, your partner and yourself) and by abstaining for long enough you will rebuild a sensitivity to the real thing. OR porn is - for you or your partner - something else, a retreat to fantasy that can barely achieved in a real relationship because fantasy-land is so different from real sex - regardless how good the sex is.

I speculate that the process of giving up fantasy might take much longer time. Maybe I will long for PMO for the rest of my life and I can never defeat the daemon, just constrain it a bit. I would still argue that, the less porn I consume the better (for my actual sex life).

 

congrats on your one year
and thanks for sharing this with us.
good for you on recognising and being aware
of what was happening.
stay strong!

recently has a similar arousal story.
mine involved listening to female friend
who talks a lot about sex.

i felt kinda high and thought it was
the sugary treat i was eating
(most likely was both.)
until you posted this i didnt even make the
connection. most def was getting a dopamine rush
as well.

the excitement
that PMO gives is temporary (so many ill effects) and invariably gets us all into trouble
the benefits and quality of life without PMO are so worth it.