Has anyone else here not had "The Talk" ?

How will members of this group resist the urge to PMO with VR P. I'm salivating...

 

I did it! Just happened. We have a good relationship - so it went pretty well and he was receptive to it. Obviously - you can't really know what's going on in a kid's head.

I focused on porn, what it was and why he should avoid it. It had both a scientific and moral aspect. I talked about addiction and (briefly) about the reward center of the brain (he's into science). I talked about how it can trick the brain and really mess up people's lives. Then (because we're Christian) I went into some of the Christian teachings about sexual morality and porn and such.

I emphasized that he should feel free to communicate with me if his friends show him porn, that he should turn away. I also emphasized that Christian moral teachings were for our benefit, not a stick to beat someone over the head with. I told him he wouldn't get in trouble - that it's more important to me that he feels he can be honest.

It's a troubled world...Hopefully I can play some role in my boys not falling into the trap so many of us have.

 

I never had it either. My parents allowed the public school system to take care of that for me in 5th grade. I remember coming home with a little booklet about sexuality, puberty, and how the male and female anatomy worked. I hid it under my mattress like it was a porn magazine. The fact that I felt the need to hide something like that gives you an idea of how secretive and taboo sex was in my childhood home. It doesn't surprise me that I became a sex addict.

 

Never really had "The Talk" with my parents. I pretty much got thrown into sex ed class twice, and learned everything else from porn. My older brother made an attempt at "The Talk", which he only said "Man you need to stop watching that gay ass anime shit and be a real n**** for once! Get some Air Force Ones and get some p****! It's good for you!". Because of this, i have a bad relationship with my older brother.

 

I remember some kid aged 11 saying something about a man putting his thing into a woman, and being really upset and disturbed. That feeling has kind of continued my whole life, so am trying to change my thought process about it.

 

Never

 

My SO never had it either.
We decided to have a series of talks with the kids (we have 5) about it, depending on their ages and genders.
Break it down and make it appropriate for their levels, now.
As they get older, we will increase the talks.
I had the talk when I was 6....we were going overseas and my parents were "afraid for the worst"

I wonder if this may contribute to the curiosity and novelty in some way.
Even on TV, kids make jokes.... "I thought you were going to show me porn" - giggles insue* but it's something else that gets put in the DVD player.
(cuz TV rules can't put it on the computer - it's Too easy for kids to copy)-depending on the rating of the show

 

You're a great mother.. Cheers ya!!

 

@The Peace Warrior
Thank you

 

I grew up with a single Mother and an older sister whom is almost a decade older than me. The both of them decided to give me "the talk" when I was 17 years old. Unfortunately, I already knew all about it since the age of 3 courtesy of said sister sexually assaulting and forcing me to watch porns she would find or make herself for many years. With my own daughters, I began having age appropriate talks with them early and regularly have informal talks with them about sex, relationships, etc. Especially now that my oldest will be entering high school, I am terrified at what she will face being surrounded by so many young men and women that have been growing up on porn and the message society and the media give that women crave and only respect men that dominate and oppress them. I already see her struggle so much with how she wants to dress and act and how she has to dress and act if she doesn't want to be invisible and friendless. I truly fear for future generations and their chance at having even the tiniest slivers of humanity left in them after being fed a constant diet of sex, violence, depravity and exploitation of others at every opportunity.

 

It's always disgusting and disappointing to me to see all these kids shows and movies that are rated PG and then have all these inappropriate jokes in them or they sexualize the characters unnecessarily or degrade the female and male characters. Nothing is safe or sacred. Since finding out about my SO's addiction, we instituted a cartoon and family show/movies rated TV-Y7 or PG only household, only to now see how even that isn't safe sometimes and sure as hell doesn't show the right message to a household of daughters that we want them to be learning.

 

Yes! @Dayanew
We do the same thing..
And we noticed the same also.
So we looked up how shows get there ratings and what each rating means.
Now to watch any shows (we don't have cable)
Everything goes through a filter.
We have boys and girls tho we are raising.
And two of our girls and one boy is Just starting puberty right now so we are being extra careful. This upcoming school year, we shall really see how it goes.

 

He wouldn't care either way, because he's a "baller". In my opinion and from what I seen him screw up, he thinks that he knows everything but he puts himself in the dumbest situations that nearly got him killed. He's mad at me for not following in the footsteps of his "legacy" of making dumb decisions. I could care less about the hoochies he slept with, amounts of alcohol he drinks, hanging in the streets, and whatever nonsense he brags about. I'd rather find my balance and find my way to a happier and more comfortable life.

 

Never had 'the talk' either. At school I learned how the female reproductive cycle worked and watched a video of a family walking around their house naked! and something about masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy, at that point I had already worked out how to view porn on the internet and this was back in 1999 when we had dial up internet. My father is a Christian and not in favour of sex before marriage, yet my mother when she was alive was not a Christian and a very open minded person, so growing up I had two viewpoints to contend with. I never had a problem with how i treated females in real life encounters, in that respect I was brought up fairly well, however the years and years of pornography use went un-noticed by my parents when I was locked away in my bedroom. I don't blame them for how my habbit exploded because frankly they grew up in the 60's and couldn't have had any idea about what internet porn was or how dangerous it would be for a young teenager like myself to get involved in. I think these days it is very important for parents to talk about 'pornography' and also consent and the law, including consequences to their teenagers, so as to equip their young ones with an educated view before they get exposed to the stuff they will likely see at some point on the internet. One of the big issues with problematic porn use is the secrecy and taboo aspect of it and it's that which i feel helps to keep the shackles on an addict as it prevents them from reaching out for fear of being ridiculed or not believed etc.

 

Wait, there's a talk? WTF mom & dad.