Ive truely hit rock bottom and dont know a way forward, catfishing and fetish addiction is ruiningme

Hey mate, I don't live near where you are (I'm in Australia) but I hear you. It really does sound like you got things bad, so I want to encourage you with a few things:

1. If you haven't already, seek professional counselling. I know counsellors can be pricy, but it sounds like you need support in a way more than the ordinary most caring person would be willing to handle.
2. Delete the dating apps from your phone. I know you might feel reluctance to this, but think of it this way: There's no reason to be keeping around things in your life that would hurt you or your psychological wellbeing. There have been more losses and downsides to these dating apps than positives, so it seems, so why not cut this out of your life?
3. We can be cheering and encouraging you from the sidelines here at NoFap, but you have got to find the motivation in yourself. I had to hit rock bottom to find that motivation: I lost my job and my girlfriend had left me. There was no other way than up from that point. You have to think of yourself like that too.

 

Try and find a hobby or something you are passionate about to fill the time that you have been spending on porn and fapping. The problem with this addiction of ours is that it makes us empty and robs us of the joy of the things we normally like. Then we try to escape the emptiness and the awful feelings caused by this sexual perversion by indulging in the very thing that causes us to feel empty and awful. It's a vicious cycle that twists our minds.

Obviously, the fetish you are describing is deviant and unhealthy. That is just pure nasty and really nothing that is attractive about it. Your mind is fucked to be turned on by that and going down that twisted road is going to lead to misery.

You know that it's twisted and it's harming you so you got to stop the unhealthy addiction. While I haven't fully beaten my POM problem for me my "attraction" to fetish filth has greatly decreased by abstaining from it. It also helps to be physically active to get out and do things and find a hobby that you love. " Boredom is the Devil's playground"

Try and avoid that weird trance like high, that unreal feeling, and get out and do real stuff.