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I feel I'm starting to lose interest for nofap...

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Deleted Account, Aug 6, 2017.

  1. And by "nofap" I mean NoFap.com and not the actual practice of not fapping. I still don't want to masturbate and watch porn. But I notice I visit this forum less and I reply to threads less, I read posts less, etc. It's like I seem to slowly stop caring about nofap. Almost every topic I look is just another of those generic nofap threads with the same generic question or advice, with the same generic replies. Same success stories, same useless chat in offtopic, same relapse reports, same success stories, etc. It's like I've seen it all before.

    At first when I joined this website it was new and interesting. I learned about this and myself. I challenged myself and felt the benefits. Then I relapsed a few times and learned from my mistakes. But now it's all dull, boring. Like brushing teeth every morning. Why would I need to join a teeth brushing group on the internet when it's just so mundane thing to do. Why do I need forum anymore?

    I don't know. Is that a bad sign? Does it mean I'm on a road to giving up and stopping to care and eventually relapse? Or does it simply becomes too normal for me that I don't need the support. Should I just embrace it and leave? Maybe it's time to abandon nofap and just be a normal guy who just not masturbates, not watches porn and doesn't make a big deal about it. I don't have a long streak, but I don't feel like checking the count. At which point do you stop counting?

    But at the same time I don't know whether I can do this without this forum to keep me in check at least as a reminder. But is there such thing as making it? Is this improvement or is this depression? What do I do?
     
  2. It depends how altruistic you are I suppose. There are always new members coming here that need a welcome and support.
     
  3. vyndaloo

    vyndaloo Fapstronaut

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    It's natural that the topics do repeat. That means, there's no novelty for you and you're losing interest. If you feel like there's nothing Nofap can do for you, perhaps you can ask yourelf if there's something you can do for Nofap. As IGY said, there are always new members looking for support and your good word can make a huge difference in someone's life. Many of us are lonely and feeling that someone cares can for example prevent a relapse.
     
  4. LouDog

    LouDog Fapstronaut

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    I'm one of the newbs on this forum. I am really glad that you made it. It helps me to get advice from time to time from old vets like yourself.

    I hope you stick around, but I understand if ya don't.
     
  5. Ultimately, you eventually need to throw away your training wheels. In my opinion I think it is a mistake for most addicts to focus so much on the past. Things like going to AA or NA meetings when you've been clean for years, is just a way to make your past addiction occupy more of your thoughts, and actually in my opinion increases the danger of relapse. We should be moving forward not back.

    So by this same logic you could say there's a time to stop relying on NoFap tools like the forum here, your day count, etc.

    I personally feel I'm at this stage myself. I don't really pay attention to my day count anymore, and I don't come here for advice or help anymore because it's no longer a struggle to go without PMO, it's just something I do automatically. However, the NoFap forums are nice in that they're not all focused on NoFap. I took a break from them for a while, and perhaps that's what you need too - but I eventually came back just because I enjoy the self-improvement section here, and I like that the forums are relatively tight knit and so I know most of the other posters.

    If you feel like a break or like the forum is getting stale for you, then take a break - but don't feel like you need to leave just because you don't want to talk about NoFap anymore. Other than answering other peoples questions I have very little desire to talk about NoFap since I think that's just focusing too much on the past and my PMO use, and not enough on my current life without PMO - but I still enjoy the forums for the other topics we discuss here. :)
     
  6. THEBEATPOLICE

    THEBEATPOLICE Fapstronaut

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    The Forum is nice because, for the most part, you can't talk about this shit with your guy friends since they all look at porn regularly and you don't want to be the douche bringing it to their attention that the thing they love is actually horrible for them.

    I suggest you leave for awhile and come back when you feel like it.
     
  7. vjbu

    vjbu Fapstronaut

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    There should certainly be some reciprocity in the community.

    I am not judging you, but I believe that all those who have succesfully done away with PMO should try and help someone else who is struggling with or are beginning their journey. I feel obligated to help a newbie because I was a newbie once as well.

    It all is a pattern. Picture it as climbing a difficult mountain face. Those on top instruct and assist those at the bottom and when those who were at the bottom finaly reach the top, help the rest and so on. But if those who succeed do not provide even the mininal assistance to the beginners, then almost nobody will climb the face again.

    After all, it is the empathy of this community that makes it so unique.
     
  8. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    I agree and know this feeling. But P is about as repetitive and non novel as you can get. This is especially so if you've consumed as much P as most of us have. And yet most of us will spend hours chasing some glimmer of novelty. I find that interesting. Why is that? What drives us to be willing to spend hours on non novel P but give up on things which are good?
     
  9. I feel this way too. I only come on here to look in the sexual health and self improvement section. As long as you are making this a lifestyle I don't see an issue with you losing interest
     
  10. Aiyoshi

    Aiyoshi Fapstronaut

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    Here's another question for you to answer before making a decision: can you leave it?

    Engineering our lifes to live away from nofap is better than leaving nofap.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. Dake1963

    Dake1963 Fapstronaut

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    Having been NoFap for almost 3 months, I see what you mean. That is why I have suggested a long-term or permanent NoFap discussion section, because our issues are different compared to people struggling through the first week.

    I read very widely on the whole NoFap thing, and yesterday I read 'The goal is not chastity, the goal is Krishna Consciousness.' I am not a Hare Krishna, I am an atheist and scientific septic, but I feel that comment was on to something.

    I feel, for me at least, the goal is not to become obsessed with not fapping, but to not masturbate in order to embrace a large goal. For me, at the moment, that is crunching through university readings, but I can see that something like a spiritual objective, artistic endeavor, traveling the world, etc, would work really well.
     
  12. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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  13. LouDog

    LouDog Fapstronaut

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    I try not to be mean, myself.

    Some people are just jerks I guess.
     
    Truthevadesme likes this.
  14. I'm not new here by any stretch and I think a lot of us are novelty seekers. We like what the forums can provide for us in the beginning, which is dopeamine, but once the "this place doesn't do it for me" kicks in we become more aware of how nofap, like any habit, enters a sort of hum drum state of boredom. We say things like "I don't get the same excitement, rush, or motivation as I used to" or "I've gotten all I need from nofap" where we're still operating under a reward seeking mentality that is self focused instead of building a mentality that is focus on others. Instead of asking "what can I get" maybe we should try shifting it to "what can I give?" How can I help others who are new or old but still struggling? True charity is giving even when there's no reward. It's when we give selflessly simply because it's the right thing to do and therefore the thing we ought to do.

    When I was younger I used to think I could help change the world, but now as I'm older I realize that I can't. What I can do is overcome my specific addictions and then use that experience to pay it forward to others by helping them get through the same suffering I've been through, because while we're all strangers in real life, we're also all brothers and sisters in our shared experience with the suffering of pmo addiction.
     
  15. I don't think anyone is saying that, actually. In truth I don't think anyone cares if you stay or go. It's more about asking what are you going to do with the knowledge you've gained by your rebooting experience? If you're done and you don't want to help others, then go. It's better to have someone who genuinely wants to stay and help vs someone who feels like they're obligated to stay and help. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's wrong or that you would be a bad person for leaving. You gotta do what's best for you, but at the same time helping others, in whatever area/environment you do it in, is an essential key to living a life of recovery.
     
  16. Dealing with negative people helps you grow, and it's not like nofap is 100% full of negative influences. There used to be a time when people would help even if it was just one person who benefited from it or would turn out good. I wonder what happened to that spirit?

    Plus I think trying to block off everything negative is like trying to create a fantasy world, which we know isn't helpful or conducive to our growth as human beings or as individuals. The problem is you're looking at these "bad/negative" people as obstacles when they can be opportunities.

    P.S. I don't care that you're on the debate team. :)
     
  17. I've never cared about the "niceness" of a community. I've known plenty of outwardly nice people who were the biggest a-holes inside. When I come to a community I prefer real people. People who aren't afraid to show their "bad" side. All of us have a bad/evil side, so I'm not angry when people show theirs. The only time it becomes unbearable is when that's all they show and the same goes for people who are positive. Yet I don't see that happening here, so I don't know what all the fuss is about?

    A place where everyone is kumbaya positive sounds like a hell filled with fake people.
     
  18. Truthevadesme

    Truthevadesme Fapstronaut

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    My occupation is nothing but high level debating for dollars so I get where you are coming from.
    But in every case I try, even the ones I'm against I learn something new. Especially in the ones I lose. (Which isn't rampant or anything lol)
     
  19. Who said I'm trying to change your mind? Like I said earlier, I don't care if you stay or go.
     
  20. Thanks for all the nice replies guys. A lot of insight here. I've thought about all of it. I definitely used this forum at the beginning as a replacement addiction to PMO and now the novelty has worn off. But the good things is that the need for replacement addiction has world off too, because the original addiction has worn off as well. I feel that at this point it's just a habit why I'm here.

    Staying to help others seems like a good cause, but not on my own expense. Because I do indeed feel that I am surrounded by negativity which does not benefit me. That negativity is this whole porn and masturbation addiction thing. Just being on this forum I feel keeps me down from progressing even further. Because what we focus on grows and by putting my attention on nofap, just by being here and making this thing part of my daily reality, might be keeping me from getting completely clean, because this is always in a background.

    I haven't decided yet but maybe I will leave. I might come back at later time stronger to help others from a better place of mind. But right now I don't care about helping others, because I have my own shit to deal with first and that's a priority. Again, thanks for all the replies. Keep them coming, if you feel like it.
     
    Rockyroad likes this.

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